THE MILKSHAKE DUCK
Quack.
CAT SCRATCH FEVER CAN MAKE YOU SCHIZO
The first time that I got it I was ten years old.
THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER, EVER SAY TO YOUR KIDS
Eat your peas.
THREE DUMB HEADLINES
Dumb dee dumb dumb.
AUDIO: SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
WOMAN’S HEART WON WITH OFFER OF HOME-COOKED CAJUN FRIES
You gotta have a gimmick.
SURVEY: EAT BREAKFAST, SUCCEED AT LIFE
Then die. (Spoiler alert)
VOTE ON NEW “COMMUNITY CHEST” CARDS FOR MONOPOLY
Go directly to suck.