CANDIDATE KICKED OFF THE BALLOT DUE TO INFREQUENT TOILET FLUSHES

A Democratic candidate running for the Pennsylvania Legislature has been taken off the ballot for violating the residency rule. A state judge threw Frederick Ramirez off the ballot after determining that low water and electric use at the house Ramirez claimed as his residence showed he really didn’t live in the district. According to testimony, for 11 months he was billed for a total of about 3,000 gallons of water, or the equivalent of less than two toilet flushes a day on average. Neighbors also testified they never saw Ramirez on their block, the bedroom light was always on, there are no photographs or pictures on the walls and the home never seemed to put out trash for curbside pickup.
* But what about the 30-foot tall compost heap out back?
* Maybe he could argue that he’s running on the “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” platform.
* How about saying he sleeps over at his girlfriend’s house in Jersey?
* I wouldn’t want to live there either. The neighbors are too nosy.
* “Okay, okay, I’ll tell you the truth. I’m constipated, I pee in the sink, and I’m afraid of the dark.”
* Imagine being the Republican operatives who came up with this evidence. I’d say they’re in line for a position at the White House.
* You could say this story leaked.
* Although ironically the problem was the candidate’s staff didn’t produce enough leaks.
* How often can you say that?
* Maybe he lived in the district in spirit.