CANADA TOPS “BEST COUNTRY” LIST

U.S. News & World Report, the top authority of what makes things better than other things, has released their annual rankings of world countries, and says that the Best Country in The World is… Canada. The rankings are based on things like Quality of Life, Social Purpose, Cultural Influence, Entrepreneurship, Open For Business, Heritage, and Agility, which they define as the ability to respond and adapt quickly to world forces. (full list here: https://www.usnews.com/media/best-countries/overall-rankings-2021.pdf)
The Top 10 Countries in the World:
1. Canada
2. Japan
3. Germany
4. Switzerland
5. Australia
6. United States
7. New Zealand
8. United Kingdom
9. Sweden
10. Netherlands
* Alright, who voted against the United States? You’re not getting any vaccine. Not a drop, ya hear me?!!
* Wasn’t Canada smart to send Justin Bieber to the United States? It hurt us; helped them.
* And how hard can it be to run The Netherlands? There’s like, what, 500 people there?
* Four years ago, in 2017, USA was Number 4. What could POSSIBLY have caused us to drop in the last four years? What mysterious reason could there be to lower our standing in the world? Why did the rest of the worl— okay, it was Trump.

The 10 Lowest-Ranked Countries in the World:
69. Guatemala
70. Oman
71. Ukraine
72. Kazakhstan
73. Uzbekistan
74. Lebanon
75. Belarus
76. Serbia
77. El Salvador
78. Iraq
* Not a good time to be living in the ‘stans.
* Where did North Korea get the money to bribe their way out of last place?
* So the Borat movies didn’t boost Uzbekistan’s ranking? Weird.