CANADA TO PRINT WARNING LABELS ON INDIVIDUAL CIGARETTES

Don’t know if you’re aware of this, but smoking is bad for you. And Canada has announced that it will begin requiring a warning label on each individual cigarette and other tobacco products in an effort to further reduce their appeal, becoming the world’s first country to use such a measure. Beginning on August 1, Canada will require cigarette companies to put individual health warnings on their products by the end of April 2025. The warnings will read, “Cigarettes Cause Cancer,” “Poison In Every Puff,” and “Tobacco Smoke Harms Children.”
* And then “… Your lucky numbers are 5, 18, 26, 29 and 44.”
* And you just know commercial sponsorship of each individual cigarette will follow close behind. “This cigarette will kill you. Drink Molson!”
* That’s gonna be some small printing. How ’bout having every pack of cigarettes come with reading glasses?
* Just in case that’s not scary enough, when the ink the messages are printed in burns, that smoke is also super-poisonous.
* Look, smokers know it’s dangerous. Why not put useful warnings they can use, like: “You Really Need to Make a Will” or “Check Now If Your Health Plan Covers Chemo.”
* Imagine if Pop-Tarts came with a warning message written in frosting. If Mac&Cheese had, instead of macaroni, little pasta skull and crossbones. If Alpha-Bits only had three letters – D, I and E.