CAMPER WAKES UP TO BEAR MUNCHING ON HIS HEAD

A 19-year-old staff member at a camp in Ward, Colorado, was awakened early Sunday morning by a bear crunching on his head. The attack happened around 4 a.m. at Glacier View Ranch, a Christian camp. The teen, named Dylan, said he and four other staffers were in sleeping bags along the camp’s lakefront. “The crunching noise, I guess, was the teeth scraping against the skull as it dug in,” Dylan said. The bear dragged him ten to 12 feet away before he was able to free himself. “When it was dragging me, that was the slowest part. It felt like it went forever.” Fellow staffers tried to scare the bear away to save the teen’s life. The animal eventually left on its own.
* But not before asking if anyone knew where Leonardo DiCaprio’s house was.
* “Also, you got any of that Charmin toilet tissue?”
* Ah, bears. Nature’s alarm clock.
* It happened at a Christian camp. Thanks, God! Very funny.
* These are things you don’t see on the National Geographic “Earth Live” nature show.
* “In Tanzania, watch a lion stalk a herd of wildebeests. In Colorado, watch a bear eat a kid’s head.”
* Remember, campers: bacon shampoo – bad idea.