BRITISH TOWN REJECTS NEW PIZZA SHOP BECAUSE LOCAL KIDS ARE “TOO FAT”

The town council of Bacup, England, has denied a permit for a pizza restaurant in their town because the town’s children are “too fat.” Woody’s Pizza, which currently operates two stores in the area, had applied for permission to open a third. But the council argued that a new pizza shop adds nothing to the food and drink offering of the town, and besides – one in five 11-year-olds in the area are classed as obese. Locals, however, are hitting back at the council, arguing the town’s children are “slim.” Previous plans to replace an ice cream and dessert shop on the same road with a hot food takeout restaurant were also refused for the same reasons back in 2023. There are reportedly already 26 takeout restaurants in Bacup.
* Sounds like baby got Bacup.
* Sorry, kids, you’re stuck with British food.
* “One in five 11-year-olds in the area are classed as obese,” or, as Americans say, they’re amateurs.
* How about a combination pizza shop and fitness club where you can only eat the pizza while on a treadmill?
* Wasn’t it Dickens who wrote, “Please, sir, can I have some more… pizza?”