BIZARRE TURKEY RECIPES

Ashlie Stevens, a writer for Salon, has discovered some of the more bizarre ways to cook a turkey:
– Velveeta Turkey: Shoving a block of Velveeta cheese into the cavity of a raw turkey before cooking.
– Glitter turkey: The “glitter” is made with a combination of Gum-Tex powder and food coloring, which is then patted all over the breasts and thighs – kind of a sparkly dry rub.
– Turkey in a Bacon Jacket: Using a pound and a half of thick-cut bacon, weave a bacon jacket for your turkey.
– Soda Turkey: Baste the turkey in a sauce made with Classic Coke, brown sugar, and butter. It adds a nice, subtle sweetness akin to that of a sugar-glazed ham and helps crisp up the skin.
– TurDunkin’: A turkey brined in Dunkin’ Donuts coolattas, stuffed with munchkins and topped with pastel-colored sprinkles. Serve with coffee gravy and mashed hash browns.
* Anybody out there already familiar with patting glitter all over breasts and thighs?
* Maybe it’s best to keep grandma away from YouTube before Thanksgiving.
* A bacon jacket? How is that not an item in the L.L. Bean catalogue?
* Yeah, well, YOU find a better way to get Velveeta, Dunkin’ Donuts and Coke into a story about Thanksgiving.
* Now more than ever, this makes me want to get my Thanksgiving dinner at Wendy’s.
* PHONE TOPIC: Have you ever had turkey cooked with a bizarre recipe?