BAT ESCAPES FROM ZOO IN VISITOR’S COAT

A bat escaped from a zoo in Germany by landing on a visiting woman and hiding in her clothes until she got home. Elina Öfele, 30, said she and her young son walked through the bat cave at Karlsruhe Zoo in southwestern Germany last week, and when she got home she removed her jacket and a bat fell to the floor. (* After the screaming died down…) … Frau Öfele contacted an animal expert who told her to put the bat in a box with honey water and a banana overnight to keep it fed and comfortable. Her husband and son returned the bat to the zoo the following day.
* These things rarely happen in the lion house.
* I’ll bet the guy who’s supposed to count the bats at the end of the day is in hot water.
* Is this the start of the Halloween-oriented news stories or just a coincidence?
* Do I now have to check my grocery store bananas for bats? Tarantulas, I know, but now bats?

Today Is…

FRIDAY – Mar 20

THURSDAY – Mar 19

WEDNESDAY – Mar 18

Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!

TODAY’S ALMANAC

FRIDAY ALMANAC – Mar 20

THURSDAY ALMANAC – Mar 19

WEDNESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 18

Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

FRIDAY TRIVIA – Mar 20

THURSDAY TRIVIA – Mar 19

WEDNESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 18

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

SHIA LABEOUF IN HIS ___ IN AN _ LOBBY

Mad Libs!

REALITY TV STAR WINNER OF THE IDITAROD DOGSLED RACE

The dogs had something to do with it, too.

ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS LIST

WInner winner, not for Sinners.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

THE RAZZIE AWARDS: WINNERS LIST

Ptthhhhhht!

SESAME STREET SUES SEA WORLD

Big Bird, big lawsuit.

HALF OF AMERICA DOESN’T GO TO THE MOVIES ANYMORE

How did “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” not pull them in?

OSCAR NOMINEE GIFT BAGS

In which luxury companies get their names mentioned on the radio.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?

posted March 19

“Nice pajamas.”

A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.

posted March 18

One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”

Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?

posted March 17

He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

Guy staggers into a bar.

posted March 16

Bartender says, “You look beat.” Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.” Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.” Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”

A guy goes up to his boss after an ethics training seminar.

posted March 13

He says, “Boss, that ethics training has me feeling bad about us doing product testing on animals. His boss says, “Look, animal testing is an accepted practice, many shampoo and cosmetics manufacturers test their products on animals.” Guy says, “Yeah, but we make hammers.”