DUMB HEADLINES
We’re in full summer dumb mode.
MAN TAKES $500,000 POLICE SWAT VEHICLE ON JOYRIDE
Probably to impress a girl.
MIME ARRESTED FOR BOTHERING WOMEN
He did unspeakable things.
SPAIN SOCCER TEAM MEMBERS AWARDED THEIR WEIGHT IN TOMATOES
¡Vaya! ¡Tomates! Muchas gracias, tacaños.
A guy is dancing with a girl, and they’re really swinging.
But every time he twirls her around, she gets two inches taller. He says, “What’s going on?” She says, “You’re unscrewing my wooden leg.”
Evel Kniev——
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Lego Pants
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WEDNESDAY, July 22 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION
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AUDIO: VETERAN SMACKS YOUNG GUY AT CUBS GAME FOR NOT STANDING DURING NATIONAL ANTHEM
The rocket’s red glare.