AMERICAN IN TURKEY TRAPPED IN CAVE

I think we’re supposed to be very concerned about an American man trapped in a deep cave in Turkey. Spelunker Mark Dickey, an experienced caver, began suffering from gastrointestinal bleeding last Saturday while deep in the Morca cave system in southern Turkey. He said he was “close to the edge” before the Turkish government managed to get medical supplies down to him. Despite being sick 1,000 meters underground, he was able to get a video out where he said, “As you can see I’m up, I’m alert, I’m talking but I’m not healed on the inside yet, so I’m going to need a lot of help to get out of here.” International teams of rescuers from Hungary, Bulgaria, Italy, Croatia and Poland have arrived in Turkey and are poised to launch a rescue operation. Dickey said he has begun eating for the first time in days and has stopped vomiting. As many as 170 people — doctors, medical personnel and experienced cavers — are making preparations to rescue Dickey, but the operation could take as many as two, or maybe three miniseries. Err— I mean, weeks.
* Why do I get the feeling it all depends on the number of ‘likes’?
* “Hi, I’m half a mile underground and sick as a dog, but I had to make this video to tell you that I’m half a mile underground and sick as a dog.”
* How bad are the stomach problems, on a scale of 1 to a cruise ship virus?
* This story brought to you by Pepto-Bismol.