ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS TO NEVER HEAR THAT SONG

According to a new survey of 1,000 people by CouponBirds, by the time Christmas Day rolls around, 30.8% of people reported disliking Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” Here are the Top Five “I’m Sick of Hearing These By Christmas” Songs:
1. “All I Want For Christmas Is You”
2. “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms
3. “Last Christmas” by Wham!
4. “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby
5. “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams
6. “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee
* And Paul McCartney dodges a bullet.
* Hmm. A week from Thanksgiving. Yep, it’s time to never enter a store without wearing AirPods.
* Where exactly do you go to have something declared a crime against humanity?
* Let’s have a moment of silence for our brothers and sisters working in the stores and malls where Christmas music has already begun rotting their brains.