AIRPORT LIMITS GOODBYE HUGS TO 3 MINUTES

Dunedin Airport in New Zealand has sparked debate with its new sign imposing a three-minute time limit on hugging goodbye in its drop-off zone. The sign says “Max hug time 3 minutes. For fonder farewells please use the car park.” The airport CEO Daniel De Bono pointed to a study suggesting a 20-second hug is enough to get a burst of the “love hormone” oxytocin and argued that moving customers along quickly allows more people to get more hugs. He also points out that the parking lot allows a 15-minute visit for free.
* What are you suggesting, you perv?
* It’s a drop-off zone, not a Burning Man love-in.
* What happens if you go over three minutes? They shoot a fire hose at you? Tasers?
* Three-minute limit for hugs. The public is not embracing it.
* Three-minutes at drop-off, but Baggage Claim still has a 45-minute minimum, though.

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What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?

posted March 19

“Nice pajamas.”

A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.

posted March 18

One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”

Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?

posted March 17

He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

Guy staggers into a bar.

posted March 16

Bartender says, “You look beat.” Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.” Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.” Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”

A guy goes up to his boss after an ethics training seminar.

posted March 13

He says, “Boss, that ethics training has me feeling bad about us doing product testing on animals. His boss says, “Look, animal testing is an accepted practice, many shampoo and cosmetics manufacturers test their products on animals.” Guy says, “Yeah, but we make hammers.”