A STORY ABOUT A 17-POUND POTATO

Colin and Donna Craig-Brown were weeding their garden in Hamilton, New Zealand, when Colin’s hoe struck something huge. They dug it up and discovered it was a giant, ugly potato: 17.4 pounds (7.9 kilograms). The current Guinness World Records entry for the heaviest potato is just under 11 pounds (5 kg). It’s about as big as, uh, a small sack of potatoes. And it’s all folded in on itself, making it look like a mutant. Colin said they’d been growing cucumbers in that area of their garden before the weeds took over and hadn’t planted any potatoes, so Doug must have been self-sown, possibly growing for a couple of years or more. Since they found it back on Aug. 30, the couple’s potato has become something of a celebrity around their small farm. They’ve named the potato Doug, after the way it was unearthed, and Colin even built a small wagon to tow Doug around. After a couple of weeks, Doug started to smell so they put it in the freezer, where it remains.
(picture of Doug the potato here: https://www.yahoo.com/news/doug-ugly-zealand-potato-could-044209320.html)
* Right next to grandma.
* A giant, ugly all folded in on itself, making it look like a mutant. That’s body shaming!
* The Oreida company is missing a heckuva marketing opportunity here.
* How do they know it was a boy potato? Something in the eyes?
* If only OUR lives could be as exciting.
* What’s a potato’s favorite horror movie? M*A*S*H.