KENTUCKY KLOWN KAPTURED!

Kentucky police on Friday arrested a man dressed as a clown lurking in a wooded area amid a wave of clown reports in at least six U.S. states. Jonathan Martin, 20, was charged with wearing a mask in a public place and disorderly conduct in the town of Middlesboro. He was found at about 1 a.m. on Friday in “full clown costume” and mask crouching among trees by an apartment complex. Alleged clown encounters – with virtually no actual proof – have been reported in recent weeks in North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Georgia and Kentucky. Said police in nearby Barbourville, Kentucky, in an online statement: “While dressing up is not, in and of itself against the law, doing so in public and thereby creating an unnecessary sense of alarm is illegal.”
* Imagine this kid’s one phone call: “Hello, uh, Dad?”
* “What are you in for?” “Misdemeanor Clown Lurking.”
* I’ll bet his parents are honkin’ mad!
* I bet a clown could smuggle a lot of contraband into prison in those shoes.
* The sad part is all the disappointed woodland creatures waiting in vain for the jugglers and acrobats to arrive.
* At least it hasn’t escalated to clowns with samurai swords or clowns with crossbows.
* Next: Another severed foot is found washed-up on a beach … in a giant clown shoe.
* So that’s one clown down, and a million to go.
* There could be a pretty bad clown sighting tonight, but enough about the debate.
* Seriously, real clowns must be thinking, “How can we compete with these two?”
* I think it’s time to get past the clowns and back to the space aliens.