MEATLESS MEAT IS HERE

Memphis Meats, a company which grows meat from animal cells, has unveiled the first lab-grown meatball to the public. The firm has been growing real meat in small quantities using cells from cows, pigs and chickens. Memphis Meats CEO Uma Valeti says the company plans “to do to the meat industry what the car did to the horse and buggy. Cultured meat will completely replace the status quo and make raising animals to eat them simply unthinkable.” In order to grow meat in a lab, Memphis Meats begins by isolating cow and pig cells that have the ability to regenerate, and “provides the cells with oxygen and nutrients such as sugars and minerals.” These cells develop inside bioreactor tanks into skeletal muscle that can be harvested in between nine and 21 days. Although no animals are slaughtered in making the meats, the firm does use fetal bovine serum from unborn calves’ blood to initiate the process. Memphis Meats says it hopes to have its animal-free products on the market in three to four years, starting with hot dogs, sausages, burgers and meatballs.
* I believe hot dogs and sausage are basically already meat-free, no?
* “Oh, waiter – have the chef grow me a steak, medium rare.”
* Fetal bovine serum, unborn calves’ blood, cow and pig cells, bioreactor tanks, harvested skeletal muscle. Sounds yummy!
* Since it starts with unborn calves’ blood, the harvested meat also makes a nice sacrifice to Satan.
* “Do to the meat industry what the car did to the horse and buggy”? You mean, destroy it?
* Now if they can only do something about tofu.
* The meat won’t be ready for 3 or 4 years, or about as long as those hot dogs have been cooking at the convenience store.
* This will do to meat what the car industry did to horse and buggies: In other words, a better grade of roadkill.
* Anybody else a little freaked out by the phrase bioreactor tanks?