MANATEES ARE BACK, BABY!

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has proposed to remove the manatee from the endangered species list and reclassify it as “threatened” after significant improvements in its population and habitat conditions. The portly creatures were among the first species added to the list in 1972. There were only an estimated 1,267 manatees in Florida when the agency began surveys of the population in 1991. Today, there are more than 6,300 in Florida, a 500% increase in the species population in the state. “The manatee’s recovery is incredibly encouraging and a great testament to the conservation actions of many,” says Cindy Dohner, the Southeast regional director of the Fish and Wildlife Service. “Today’s proposal is not only about recognizing this progress, but it’s also about recommitting ourselves to ensuring the manatee’s long-term success and recovery.”
* Are they sure they’re counting manatees, or typical overweight Americans swimming in the water?
* Whatever. I could like manatees more, but they look too much like Barney the Dinosaur.
* From 1,267 to 6,300. Even manatees are getting more sex than I am.
* Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Manatee burgers!
* Like, Whatamanatee.
* Or TCBM: The Country’s Best Manatee.
* Great, now here come the manatee-eating sharks.
* The thing I don’t understand is how manatees were mistaken for mermaids back in the day.
* Do you know how long you’d have to be at sea for that to happen?
* Why ruin it? Do you realize how rare it is to get a nice warm-hearted story from Florida?
* It’s Florida so I keep waiting for the bad part of the story. Weren’t the manatees on bath salts or something?