BURGLAR STEALS CAT, LOWERS THERMOSTAT

A Hempfield, Pennsylvania, man recently came home to find his residence burgled and one of his two cats missing. Thirty-four-year-old Scott Nicolson says that whoever it was that entered his home also turned off the thermostat. Nothing else in the residence was disturbed. Nicolson says, “I want my cat home. Failing that, I just want to know that he’s safe.”
* Cat burglar!
* I guess until the male cat comes back Scott will just have to spray the furniture himself.
* Meanwhile, the remaining cat is thinking, “What am I? Chopped liver?”
* A lowered thermostat and missing cat that had been left alone. This sounds like the work of Greenpeace.
* The thermostat was turned off? Sounds like a cold case.
* Cats can be pretty clever. I suspect an inside job.
* Weird. Usually in these cases, the intruder cooks themselves breakfast or uses the shower.
* The other cat is really freaked out right now – or it would be if it gave a rip.
* Actually the other cat is just a big ball of indifference.
* Wow, I wonder how many marijuana jokes Hempfield, Pennsylvania has had to endure over the years?