COPS CALLED ON MAN IN THONG ON PORCH WITH RIFLE

Police were dispatched Saturday afternoon to the home of 57-year-old Ricky Dale Rector in Woodruff, South Carolina, in response to a 911 call about “a man in his underwear sitting on his porch with a long-gun.” When a cop arrived at the home, Rector was wearing only a “light blue pair of thong underwear,” according to a police report. “Ricky was asked why he was in his underwear and sitting on the porch with a rifle. He stated he was looking for deer,” the cop reported. Since Rector was not the subject of any outstanding warrants (and had no felony convictions), he was uncuffed and given back his rifle and round. But before departing, the officer noted, “Ricky was advised to avoid this in the future.”
* Because blue is just not his color?
* If we can’t sit on our porch in a blue thong with a rifle, then, well, the terrorists have won.
* Is there something about deer that we don’t know about? I mean are they drawn to the sight of a man in a thong?
* Laziest hunter ever.
* ‘Course, he could also be fending off “porch pirates.”
* The problem with that is, nobody would want to come to the porch with a delivery.
* That’s a coincidence. I’m wearing a blue thong right now.
* I’m kidding. It’s more of a silver and gold color.
* You’ve got to get him credit for the authentic done-home name: Ricky Dale isn’t as good as Ricky Bobby but it’s close.
* Some people like to hang out on the sofa. Some are outdoor types. This guy is both.
* I’ve got your long-gun right here.