NUDE SWIMMER BITTEN BY SHARK, BUT NOT THERE

Paul O’Leary, a regular nude swimmer on Hawaii’s Big Island, was bit by a shark on his right leg last Tuesday. At first, he thought he had just scraped his foot on something sharp, but as he tried to swim back to shore, he found that he couldn’t kick his foot. Upon closer inspection, he saw skin hanging off of it. He yelled for help, and Richard Dingman, another man who had been swimming in the nude that day, swam to his rescue. When the two arrived on shore, more people came to help, and O’Leary, for the sake of decency, got dressed. The shark bite severed tendons and nerves on O’Leary’s right ankle, which required 50 stitches. Even after the scary ordeal, O’Leary tried to convince news reporters to swim in the ocean naked. “If you’ve never gone swimming nude, you gotta try it,” O’Leary told the Hawaii Tribune-Herald. “You feel very free. … There’s very little resistance.”
* Except when there’s a shark clamped down on you.
* Did he say this when he was pumped full of pain medication?
* “You gotta try it”? Funny. That’s the same thing the shark told his pals about biting a human.
* That’s like Siegfreid and Roy saying, “You gotta try playing with tigers! It’s great!”
* I think you should always wear a swimsuit in the ocean – if only to be used later as a tourniquet.
* Swimming in the ocean’s dicey enough. You don’t need to throw a worm out there for bait.
* Or make the sharks angry ’cause they think you’re mooning them.
* Kudos to the second swimmer for helping him. I’m not sure how I’d react to hearing someone yell, “Help! I’ve just been bitten by a shark! Come over here and help me! Where the shark is! Swimming around in my blood and seconds away from a killing frenzy!”
* You know it’s bad when you’re lucky to get 50 stitches.
* If that shark bit him on the right ankle he’s lucky he still has a leg.