JUDGE ORDERS ARSONIST TO WRITE 200 LETTERS OF APOLOGY

A teenage arsonist was ordered to write 200 letters of apology to his victims in return for a reduced sentence. Clyde Turner, 18, torched a storage unit in Holiday, Florida, and pleaded guilty to second-degree arson and burglary. Circuit Judge Pat Siracusa sentenced Turner to five months in county jail and eight years’ probation – and told him to write a letter of apology to everyone affected. Turner broke into the storage facility with the plan of setting fire to the unit that belonged to his mother’s abusive ex-boyfriend. After disabling a security camera and soaking the unit with gasoline, he set it on fire and fled – but the flames quickly took hold and spread. In total, another 40 units and their contents were completely destroyed. Turner was arrested by Pasco County sheriff’s deputies later that same day. While sentencing, Judge Siracusa said: “To give life to the words you wrote in those pages, get a job, work hard and do your best to make it right.” Turner still has to pay more than $500,000 in restitution, and could face up to 20 years in prison if he breaks probation.
* He can send the letters via Hotmail.
* He should also apologize to those storage-unit-auction reality show guys.
* “Gee, honey, I lost all my irreplaceable baseball card collections, but look – the kid wrote me a nice letter!”
* On the bright side, three of the destroyed units were secret meth labs.
* $500,000 in restitution? Better get right on that.
* I bet this guy can’t even afford 200 stamps.
* Now the guy is asking if a text message is all right?
* Do they have a text abbreviation for “sorry about the fire”?
* The scary thing is I bet they do.