SANTA CLAUS RUNS FOR NORTH POLE CITY COUNCIL

A man legally named Santa Claus – and who looks like him – is running as a write-in candidate for a city council seat in North Pole, Alaska. The village, which is about 13 miles outside of Fairbanks, held its elections yesterday (Tuesday). Mr. Claus had a good chance of winning, since there are only two people competing for two open seats. Claus testified in June in front of the city council in favor of selling marijuana in North Pole, citing his own use of medical marijuana.
* So, Santa’s sack is full of Cheetos?
* “Dear Jimmy – Thanks for the milk and cookies. I also ate all your Pringles.”
* “His eyes – how they twinkled! Bloodshot, but twinkling.”
* “Ho, Ho, Hold this joint while I get my lighter!”
* The elves in his workshop are making bongs.
* Let’s get through Halloween before we jump into the Santa Claus stories.
* We haven’t even had that annual story about the cost of a Thanksgiving dinner yet.
* North Pole, Alaska? How the hell does this not have a reality show?
* At last count there were 37 reality shows about Alaska, so what are they waiting for here?
* Yup, 37 Alaskan reality shows and that’s not counting Sarah Palin’s family.