NAKED SWIMMING WOMAN A MYSTERY

A naked woman was rescued last week in the water three miles off the southern California coast under mysterious circumstances. Kayakers heard the 28-year-old woman calling for help about 10 a.m. Sunday, September 13th. They found her treading water off Newport Beach. She had been in the water about 16 hours. The unidentified woman was alone without a boat, a flotation device or even a bathing suit. The woman said she went for a swim Saturday about 5:30 p.m. and got caught in a rip current. The woman told deputies she discarded her bathing suit at some point while she was in the ocean “so it wouldn’t restrict her in her abilities to swim.” She didn’t appear to be suffering from hypothermia. She was taken to a hospital suffering from dehydration. Officials say no lifeguards saw her on the beach. The Fire Department couldn’t find belongings she said she left on the beach. A local lifeguard believes it would be impossible for a rip current to pull the woman three miles into the ocean.
* What we need is a scientific study of naked women in the ocean.
* It wasn’t as sexy as you think. She was pretty darn wrinkled-up after 16 hours in the water.
* Basically, she looked like she was made out of corrugated cardboard.
* Wasn’t this a Tom Hanks movie? (“Splash”)
* I see three possibilities: 1. She fell through a doorway in time and space into the ocean. 2. She was abducted by aliens who then pushed her out of the spaceship into the ocean. 3. Drugs or alcohol were involved.
* I bet the sharks out there thought, “This is too easy. It has to be some kind of trap.”
* If it happened later in the week it could have been that earthquake in Chile that caused a tsunami rip current.
* Okay, that was only 13 inches high along the Southern California coast but it could sweep a poor swimmer out.
* Sorry, to go all scientific with it, but it’s true.
* I can’t decide what makes less sense: Taking off your suit or saying you’ve been out there for 16 hours.
* “She discarded her suit so she could swim better.” Or because she wanted to get on the internet.
* Seriously, would we be talking about this if she wasn’t naked?