OWN A PIECE OF THE WORLD CUP TURF: $450

You’re drunk.

The CEO asked, “What are you doing?” The man says, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.” The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?” Man, “1000 dollars” The CEO counts out $2000 and gives it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!” The guys takes the money and leaves. CEO says to the reception, “Who was that guy?” The receptionist says, “Pizza delivery”.

Her husband said “I’m sorry you’re in such pain. I wish I could help.” She says, “It’s OK. It’s not your fault.”

Tutus.

Husband comes out, says, “What’s for dinner?” She’s a little angry. She says, “Pretend I’m out of town, go make dinner yourself.” Guy goes inside, cooks up a beautiful steak, baked potato and a beer. Wife comes in. Says, “Where’s my dinner?” Husband says, “I thought you were out of town.”