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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
DOLLY PARTON CORN MAZES ARE BIG SELLERS THIS YEAR
I’m holding out for the Bob Mackie maze.
THE PICARD GAMBLE: IT WOULD WORK, SAYS PHYSICIST STAR TREK FAN
And don’t get him started on The Big Bang Theory.
OPRAH IN THE SPHERE
Everybody check under your seat.
BEYONCE’S BIG BARREN BOX BESET BY BEYHIVE BUYERS’ BACKLASH
Ever see “The Sting”?
LADY GAGA HAS A BABY
Born THIS way.
THE BEATLES IN SCIENCE: LET IT BE ALREADY
I’m so tired.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
“WHEEL OF FORTUNE” ADDS NEW GAME
This’ll make it more interesting, for sure.
“THE PRICE IS RIGHT” AND “LET’S MAKE A DEAL” DO STAR TREK EPISODES
Guess wise and prosper.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Did you hear about the clumsy girl who fell in love?
She falls for everyone.
What did the alien cat say when it landed on Earth?
Take me to your litter.
Why don’t football players wear glasses?
It’s a contact sport.
Did you hear about the weatherman who broke both his arms and both his legs?
Everybody watched his forecasts.
Why do birds and pigs go to different doctors?
Because birds need tweetment and pigs need oinkment
U.S. NEWS
NEW WORDS IN THE DICTIONARY
23 skidoo.
AUDIO: WOMAN GOES CRAZY OVER LACK OF GOLF CADDIES
Maybe if you yell louder, they’ll magically appear.
SHERWIN-WILLIAMS COLOR OF 2027: CELERY
Colour my world.
THE PICARD GAMBLE: IT WOULD WORK, SAYS PHYSICIST STAR TREK FAN
And don’t get him started on The Big Bang Theory.
AUDIO: SCREAMING CONTEST
We all scream for… well, you know.
NURSE CAUGHT EXORCISING NURSING HOME PATIENT
The hell you say.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
TEACHER BROKE INTO A HOUSE ALONG WITH HIS STUDENTS
Hands-on learning.
AIRLINE BREAKS TRACK STAR’S JAVELINS
Them’s the breaks.
BEACHCOMBERS CLAIM TO FIND KNEECAP; IT WAS JUST A SEA POTATO
Goes great with a sea steak.
RHINO POACHER TRAMPLED BY ELEPHANTS
Another of those Circle of Life things.
LEAP HOUR
It’s about time.
GRAVE DIGGING CONTEST IN HUNGARY
Tomb it may concern.
MAN SURVIVES TREE FALL, DIES IN ELEVATOR DROP
A real downer, man.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Jurassic, Parked
Get The Graham Cracker Ready
As It Is Written
OOO, BLISTER!
I Love Theme Weddings
Swingin’
THE BUZZ
TEACHERS REVEAL RIDICULOUS REQUEST FROM PARENTS
Let this be a lesson to you.
DUMB HEADLINES
Real headlines. Real dumb headlines.
STUDY: COLLEGE STUDENTS, PAID TO SLEEP MORE, GET BETTER GRADES
Forty winks = 5 bucks.
SURVEY: WHERE WE DON’T LIKE PETS
Restaurants, grocery stores, doctor’s office.
CARS: A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY
I’m in love with my car.
IT LOOKED SO ROMANTIC IN THE MOVIES
Isn’t it romantic? No.
HOW A.I. WILL KILL US ALL
Chaos, famine, pestilence. Have a nice day!
SURVEY: PEOPLE TASTE-TEST THEIR PET’S FOOD
On purpose.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
THE WEIGHT
Starts Friday, September 18 in theaters.
RESIDENT EVIL
Starts Friday, September 18 in theaters.
SHAUN THE SHEEP: THE BEAST OF MOSSY BOTTOM
Starts Friday, September 18 in theaters.
THE UPRISING
Starts Friday, September 11 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – No Reasonable Offer
Big Al gets an offer he can’t refuse.
FELDMAN’S BIG AND DUMB SHOP FOR MEN
For stupid men, duh.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, September 11.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
EAU DE GASOLINE PARFUM
It even sounds expensive.
A & M AUTOLAND – Subliminal Ad
Al and Mike try communicating below the threshold of actual thoughts, which is how their brains work anyway.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, September 4.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Free Dinners
With their latest promotion, Al and Mike have bitten off more than they can chew.
UNIVERSITY OF HIBBING: JOBS
Earn that college degree in a week, maybe two.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, August 28.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Scratch And Dent Sale
Now more damaged cars than ever!
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