MAN ROBS WEREWOLF

In Salt Lake City, Utah, a man was arrested Saturday after police say he assaulted a victim, claiming they were a werewolf. Police say Jose Manuel Perez, 24, and the victim were having lunch when Perez grabbed the man in a choke hold. He then pulled out a wooden stake with a nail in it, telling the victim they were a werewolf and that “he was going to pierce his heart.” The victim was able to escape, and Perez ran off with the man’s backpack, but police found him and took him into custody. Police also found several rocks in Mr. Perez’s pocket. He told police he carried them out of fear the victim was going to attack him. He then admitted to stealing the backpack, but argued that since officers “got it back to the victim,” he couldn’t be charged with robbery.
* Why, that’s absolutely right, sir, you are free to go.
* What pushed the attacker over the edge was when the other guy ordered a bowl of raw pork.
* Wooden stakes are for vampires, silver bullets are for werewolves. Jeeze, if you’re gonna be crazy at least get your lycanthropy right.
* So, what were the rocks for? The Mummy?
* And they didn’t even get to order dessert.