MONKEY COFFEE

Many years ago, the wonders of cat poop coffee were unleashed upon the world (* And it sure became a hit, didn’t it?). Cat poop coffee is made from coffee beans that have been eaten by Indonesian civet cats, pooped out, and then brewed into a hot, savory cup of coffee that’s been passed through a cat’s butt. Well now, there’s monkey coffee. Monkey coffee mostly comes from Taiwan and India. While not entirely as gross as cat poop coffee, monkey coffee is made from beans that have been chewed and spit out by rock macaques and rhesus monkeys. (* The Rock Macaques – great band name!) The monkeys get into coffee bean crops, chew on the coffee beans and then spit them out. The monkey saliva has an enzyme which partially breaks down the coffee bean and changes the taste. Coffee bean farmers use the chewed and discarded coffee beans to create a delicacy of the coffee world. Monkey coffee is described as having a sweeter and more elaborate flavor than the average roast with notes of vanilla, citrus, and chocolate all at once. The coffee is also known to be heavy bodied, but not very bitter at all.
* No hint of banana?
* Instead of a cup of joe, you say, “Giimme a cup of Jojo the monkey.”
* I would think the flavor had a tang. An orangu-tang, so to speak.
* You’re a coffee farmer in India. Not a bad living. Then you wake up and find you’ve now got to start collecting chewed-up saliva-soaked coffee beans spit out by monkeys.
* Are there any other animal orifices from which we can get our food? Are there elephants that sniff up coffee beans and let them mellow in their trunks?
* And I thought wine connoisseurs were kinda crazy.