WEDNESDAY, May 15 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, May 15, 2024
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: RED PLOPSTER – SHRIMP MONTH; A & M AUTOLAND – Service

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL CHOCOLATE CHIP DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Chocolate Chip Day celebrates and enjoys sweet, tasty chocolate chips. Chocolate chips are a great invention, and certainly deserve a little recognition. After all, where would chocolate chip cookies, cakes and muffins be without the chocolate chip!? Chocolate chips are popular in cooking and baking, for a wide variety of breads, cakes, and cookies. There is an almost endless number of recipes. They are also used in decorating. Have you ever had chocolate chip pancakes? How about chocolate chips in trail mix? If you’ve never had these, then you’re leading a sheltered life. Rare is the leftover chocolate chip. If you don’t use the whole bag, you and/or your kids will likely eat them as a snack before they make it to the storage container. There are many recipes for having a successful National Chocolate Chip Day. And, every one of them includes chocolate chips.”

POLICE OFFICERS MEMORIAL DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Police Officer’s Memorial Day honors and remembers police officers who gave their lives while on duty. Police officers protect us 24/7 every day of the year. It’s a sometimes dangerous job. They know they are putting their lives at risk to make and keep us safe. Police officers know the risks, and accept them. Sometimes, they pay the ultimate price. Please show our respect and appreciation for police officers everywhere … today … and everyday.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

ABC’S “GOLDEN BACHELORETTE”

ABC is playing the oldies again. The next “Bachelor” show this fall will feature another ‘mature’ individual. 61-year-old Joan Vassos from Rockland, Maryland, will be the “Golden Bachelorette.” Vassos was on “The Golden Bachelor” but left that show early in week 3 to care for her daughter who had recently given birth. Vassos is a mother of four, grandmother of two and a school administrator. Her late husband John, whom she was married to for 32 years, died in January 2021 from pancreatic cancer. In her spare time, the new lead loves spending time with her dog, cooking and listening to Elton John.
* Not his music. She likes to listen to him when he throws his fits.
* Just more of the same old thing. Or, rather, the same OLD thing.
* You know, god forbid if my spouse should pass away, I know they’d want me date again… on television, to a total stranger, in front of millions.
* Just give us some advance warning of when the “hot tub” episode is going to air.
* Boy we’ve come a long way since “The Dating Game,” huh? And not in a good way.

THE BUZZ

THE MEAL I HATED MOST AS A CHILD

Reddit asked, “What meal from your childhood did you hate the most?” Some of the responses – and parents, take note that you’re probably doing this to your kids:
– “My mom’s Shake n’ Bake pork chops. Only the cheapest, most gristly cut, baked until it was devoid of any moisture. My jaw hurts just thinking about trying to chew it.”
– “Liver and onions. My mom would smother it in garlic and she’d say ‘It tastes just like steak.'”
– “Those little individual pot pies. They took forever in the oven and the filling stayed lava hot forever, always burned my mouth. The ‘meat’ was pieces of gristle, the bottom was always soggy and the gravy had a super weird texture and no taste.”
– “Canned spinach is one of the nastiest things on god’s green earth and ruined generations of kids from enjoying vegetables.The first time I tried fresh baby spinach I had no idea it was related to that horrible green canned slime that my parents used to force on us.”
– “Boiled brussel sprouts.”
– “Soft asparagus from a can.”
– “Anything with ‘helper’ in the name.”
– “My mother’s ‘goulash’ was over boiled macaroni, ground beef and plain unseasoned watery tomato sauce.”
– “Mom used to make this ‘breakfast casserole’ every Christmas morning… it was all the leftovers she had available thrown into eggs and baked. It was horrible, but me and my 5 siblings never said a thing.”
– “Mom made great lasagna. Then she decided to get fancy and started adding V-8 juice in it. Awful.”
– “One time I told my mom I wanted some rice pudding. She grabbed some for me at the store. I looked at it and realized I meant bread pudding. Anyway, decades late my mom still thinks I love rice pudding and gets it for me. I hate it.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What meal did you hate most as a child?

U.S. NEWS

AUDIO: GRADUATION ANNOUNCER MANGLES GRADUATE’S NAMES DURING CEREMONY

Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia is apologizing to, well, the world after the person they asked to read the names of their nursing school graduates completely mangled the pronunciations. Several videos from last Thursday’s commencement ceremony have hit the internet. The announcer blamed the problem on phonetic spellings which were written next to the graduate’s names. She said she was simply reading the phonetics instead of their actual names.
* Good to see a college-educated student able to think for themselves!
* Somebody failed their English as a Second Language course. Or English as a Third or Fourth Language, maybe.
* Another job we need to turn over to AI.
* You paid $53,000 for that diploma and a walk across the stage. At least you got a good chuckle for your money.
CLIP: The speaker mispronounces names. Below are the actual names she is mangling.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/ThomasJeffersonUnivMispronunciations(dot)
– Jessica Lynn Bauer
– Allison Nicole Bishop
– Victoria Elizabeth Bruce
– Molly Elizabeth Camp
– Allison Carrol Campbell
– Thomas Michael Canevari (as some have pointed out, “Thomas” is also the name of the school, and she blew it.)

ARE YOU AN ALICE?

Are you part of a two-person household, where both of you work, and you have no children? You’re a DINK. This is the term economists came up with in the 1980s to describe a Double Income No Kids household. These households had plenty of disposable income because there were no children to spend it on. But these days, you might be an ALICE. This is a new acronym, which stands for Asset-Limited, Income-Constrained, and Employed. These are households that make too much to qualify for government assistance but not enough to comfortably afford daily life.
* In other words, you’re Still Childless, Really Exhausted Working, Economically Destitute. Yes, you’re SCREWED.
* And you want to know the worst thing? The guy who just sits around thinking up the ALICE acronyms makes 20 times what you do.
* Maybe your kid is a LAMB: Living Always in Mom’s Basement.
* Or an OWL-OTTER: Once Won Lottery, Off To Tahiti for Extended Relaxation.
* With an election coming, it’s time to ask: “Are you better off than you were four years ago?” And if the answer is Yes, shut up.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

KILLER WHALES SINK ANOTHER YACHT IN THE MEDITERRANEAN

Killer whales sank another yacht in the Strait of Gibraltar on Sunday. One particular pod of Iberian orcas living off the coasts of Spain and Portugal has been ramming vessels since 2020. Two people were aboard the 49-foot boat when they started feeling blows to the hull and rudder and water started seeping in. They sent an SOS and were taken to Gibraltar by a nearby oil tanker, leaving their boat adrift. It eventually went under. The pod has sunk five sailboats and two fishing boats; they’ve also rammed hundreds of other boats without sinking them. Marine biologists don’t believe the attacks are malicious; they think it may be an attempt at play or simply a show of curiosity.
* Great – orca sympathizers. Another thing for college students to protest.
* A show of curiosity? Like – curiosity about what we taste like?
* As they swam away they were yelling “Eat the rich!”
* Can’t we just fill the ocean with beach balls and pool floaties to distract them from the yachts?
* I guess after 5,000 years of running ships and boats through the whales’ home, we’ve finally worn out our welcome.
[Note: if you’re interested, Morning Sidekick has a funny take on boat-ramming orcas on our podcast side-project, Spoof!. It’s called “Aquamanly,” a takeoff on the Aquaman movies. Go to spoofpodcast(dot)com, scroll down to “Aquamanly.” And please feel free to promote the Spoof! site on your social media, we’d appreciate it!]

TRENDING

TOM BRADY REGRETS ROAST, BECAUSE OF HIS KIDS

Tom Brady admits he “didn’t like” how his children were affected by the jokes made about their moms Gisele Bündchen and Bridget Moynahan during his Netflix roast. The former NFL star said on “The Pivot” podcast Tuesday, “I loved when the jokes were about me. I didn’t like the way that affected my kids.” The seven-time Super Bowl champion — who shares son Jack, 16, with Moynahan and son Benjamin, 14, and daughter Vivian, 11, with ex-wife Bündchen — said he didn’t think his decision to be a part of “The Roast of Tom Brady” through. “It’s the hardest part about like, the bittersweet aspect of when you do something that you think is one way and then all of a sudden you realize, ‘I wouldn’t do that again,’ because of the way that affected actually the people that I care about the most in the world.”

ANOTHER JEOPARDY SPINOFF: POP CULTURE JEOPARDY

Prime Video announced a new Jeopardy spinoff. This one will be called “Pop Culture Jeopardy!” In this version, contestants will compete in teams of three to answer questions about pop culture which – as viewers of regular Jeopardy know – are the hardest questions for the grown-up contestants who, you know, have a life. Pop Culture Jeopardy! will be the first spinoff of the game created specifically for a major streaming service. Other past versions include VH1’s Rock & Roll Jeopardy!, Crackle’s Sports Jeopardy!, Jep! (a children’s version that ran from 1998 to 2000), and the prime time ABC versions Jeopardy! The Greatest of All Time, Jeopardy! National College Championship, Celebrity Jeopardy!, and Jeopardy! Masters.

TOP TEN U.S. VACATION CITIES

According to the WalletHub website, here are the Top Ten US Cities that would make excellent summer vacation destinations. The site looked at 100 of the most populated cities in America, based on metrics in six key areas: travel costs, travel hassles, what it costs to stay and do things locally, the number of local attractions, weather and safety, including rates for violent crime and property crime. Tell the kids this is where you’re going this summer:
1. Atlanta
2. Washington D.C.
3. Orlando
4. Honolulu
5. Tampa-St. Petersburg
6. Austin
7. Philadelphia
8. Chicago-Naperville-Elgin
9. El Paso
10. Cincinnati

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

Alexandra Breckenridge (actress, “Virgin River,” This Is Us”) … 42
Jamie-Lynn Sigler (actress, “Guys With Kids,” “The Sopranos”) … 43
David Krumholtz (actor, “Sausage Party,” “Numb3rs”) … 46
Mike Oldfield (multi-instrumentalist, “Tubular Bells”) … 71

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I think comedy, I’ve learned, is really just about relaxing and trusting yourself and allowing yourself to fail.”

(A) Adam Sandler
(B) Amy Schumer
(C) Jamie-Lynn Sigler

ANSWER: (C) Jamie-Lynn Sigler

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2001 – A runaway freight train with no one aboard traveled over 70 miles through Ohio before a daring modern-day Casey Jones jumped onto the engine and stopped it.
* No one aboard? Now THAT’S taking employee downsizing a little too far.

1940 – The first successful helicopter flight in the U.S. was made.
* Which helped make police chases much easier to follow on TV.

1940 – The first nylon stockings were sold in the U.S.
* The first stocking-over-the-head bank robbery occurred later that same afternoon.

1930 – The first airline stewardess, Ellen Church, went to work, on a United Airlines flight from San Francisco, California, to Cheyenne, Wyoming.
* Doctors say her forced smile should go away any day now.

1928 – Mickey Mouse made his first appearance. He would become the most recognized cartoon character in the world.
* Well, the most recognized cartoon character that didn’t sell tobacco products.

1905 – Las Vegas, Nevada was founded. It soon became a haven for gamblers and those seeking a quick and easy divorce.
* “Don’t lose your shirt in the settlement – lose it in one of our casinos!”

1851 – The first sorority, Alpha Delta Pi, was formed at Wesleyan College.
* Things were so tame back then, when they held toga parties, they wore the togas over their clothes.

1718 – James Puckle, a London lawyer, patented the world’s first machine gun.
* I’ll bet he didn’t lose many cases after that.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – Adria Petty and Annakim Violette, daughters of the late Tom Petty, filed suit against his widow, Dana York Petty, in a dispute about the singer-songwriter’s catalogue and estate, seeking at least $5 million in damages. A settlement was reached in December.

2008 – Neil Diamond reached the top of the US Billboard album chart for the first time in his career with “Home Before Dark” the 67-year-old’s 29th studio album.

1994 – Berklee College of Music in Boston awarded Sting an honorary degree.

1988 – Michael Jackson’s autobiography became a worldwide best-seller.

1980 – The Sex Pistols released the film “The Great Rock and Roll Swindle.”

1967 – Paul McCartney met his future wife, photographer Linda Eastman.

1963 – Tony Bennett’s “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” won a Grammy for Record of the Year.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. About 10% of people say they really, truly hate THESE. What are they?
Girl Scout cookies

2. Almost 10% of people surveyed say they don’t like THIS food. What is it?
Pancakes

3. Only 1% of Americans say they hate THIS food. What is it?
French Fries

(c) 2024
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111