WEDNESDAY, May 8 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, May 8, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Putting Green

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

IRIS DAY

NATIONAL COCONUT CREAM PIE DAY

V-E Day
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Victory in Europe Day (V-E Day) commemorates the end of fighting in Europe during World War II. After years of war, The Third Reich of Nazi Germany was defeated. Millions of people were killed. Adolf Hitler, Germany’s Dictator, had committed suicide in his bunker in Berlin. The German Army ceased fighting on May 2, and formally surrendered unconditionally, on May 7th. The surrender of all German forces was arranged for May 8 at 11:01. The Allied countries planned to celebrate victory, and the cessation of hostilities. Did you Know? The original planned date for the celebration of V-E Day, was May 9th, 1945. But, journalists caught wind of the plans. So, the U.S. and Britain moved the date up by a day to May 8th. Russia kept to the original planned date for May 9th. Russia still celebrates V-E Day on May 9th.”

WORLD RED CROSS DAY and WORLD RED CRESCENT DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“World Red Cross Day remembers and recognizes the efforts of National Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies worldwide. According to the Red Cross website, this day recognizes: ‘Worldwide efforts to advocate for the relief of human suffering, whether from disease, famine, disaster, or war. On May 8, the American Red Cross puts special focus on our programs that keep children healthy and safe around the globe.’ The Red Cross provides humanitarian efforts and disaster relief around the world, wherever it is needed. There are millions of Red Cross volunteers.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

AUDIO: LEGO DARTH JAR-JAR

One of the, if not THE most hated characters in all of Star Wars, is Jar-Jar Binks, who first made an appearance in “The Phantom Menace” and then was quickly ‘disappeared.’ Well, it took 25 years: coming this fall, proving you can’t keep a good Gungan down, Disney+ is bring out a comedy Lego Star Wars special called “LEGO Star Wars: Rebuild the Galaxy,” where all the Lego Star Wars things – Tie-Fighters and At-Ats and are falling apart and being put back together in an opposite way. And the big villain in this: a Lego Darth Jar-Jar. Original Jar Jar actor Ahmed Best will voice the character, and Mark Hamill will also lend his voice to a LEGO Luke Skywalker in the movie, which premiers September 13.
* Of course, it’ll be a Luke Skywalker who sounds like he’s 72 years old, so they’re gonna say he has the flu.
* Jar-Jar. Thanks for reviving that nightmare, Disney.
* Lego has really hit on something. If some piece of entertainment tanks, just Lego it and you’ll make millions.
* CBS is now planning on Lego-ing all of its sitcoms.
* Still, it’s nice the voice actor will be getting some work after two-and-a-half decades.
CLIP: Darth Jar-Jar appears.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/DarthJarJar(dot)mp3

THE BUZZ

WHAT THE TEACHER TOLD ME

Reddit asked, “What did a teacher say or do to you that you’ve never forgotten?” Some of the responses:
– “Put your derriere in your chair-iere.”
– “You’re not a good liar. You shouldn’t do it.”
– “My 5th grade teacher would stand on a chair and sing ‘don’t you know how much i love you’ to the class when we behaved.”
– “‘Those who do not have the talent can compensate for it with diligence.’ It was a reply to a worry I had, and he was right.”
– “My biology teacher: ‘I know there’s a senior party tonight, if any of you can’t drive at any point during the night you can call me for a ride and I’ll take you home. I won’t tell your parents or get you in trouble, I just don’t want any one drinking and driving.'”
– “3rd grade-Mrs Jones. My dad had just deserted us and we were suddenly destitute. She bought my school pictures for us and paid my lunch bill all year. She never said a word about it. Only found out later.”
– “Girls don’t like drunk guys, so, if you want to hook up, let the other men get drunk and you stay sober. By default you’ll be the better option for girls or the girl you like.'”
– “My first grade teacher said, ‘god made dirt so dirt don’t hurt’ and then proceeded to eat a spoonful of dirt. I’ve completely forgotten the context around this event, but the act itself has really stuck with me. How bizarre.”
– “When my 8th grade history teacher taught us to memorize the map of the Mediterranean and Middle East… only to make us start over a couple weeks later because he had been making us memorize a map that was upside-down.”
– “‘Get out before you get stuck.’ I think he was referring to getting out of our small town, but it rings true for many things in life.”
PHONE TOPIC: Has a teacher ever said or done something you will never forget?

THE BEST STATES IN THE WHOLE U.S.

U.S. News and World Report has come out with their annual list of the Best States. The ranking are based on a variety of indicators relating to the economy, opportunity and fiscal stability. Here are the Top Ten Gosh-Darned Best States In the Whole Country!
1. Utah
2. New Hampshire
3. Nebraska
4. Minnesota
5. Idaho
6. Iowa
7. Vermont
8. Washington
9. Florida
10. Massachusetts
* Utahns are going to be insufferable now.
* Weird. According to their license plate, Utah is just a bunch of orange rock.
* Florida’s on the list just for it’s ongoing entertainment value.
* The best state is the state of denial.

The 10 Lowest-Ranked States in the U.S.:
45. Alaska
46. West Virginia
47. Arkansas
48. Mississippi
49. New Mexico
50. Louisiana
* Take heart that the rankings of the Best States come from a magazine that isn’t even in the Top 20 of magazines.

U.S. NEWS

BUS DRIVER, PASSENGER FIGHT OVER UNNEEDED FARE

A Los Angeles bus driver was attacked by a woman passenger on Sunday who tried to give her a dollar. The woman was boarding a DASH bus, which offers free service, and she tried to pay a dollar to the female driver. When the driver declined to take the woman’s money, the woman began attacking the driver. The woman pried open the door that separates the driver from the rest of the bus and punched the driver. The driver fought and kicked the woman several times to get her off the bus. The two eventually separated, and the driver got back on the bus and closed the door. The bus driver did not sustain serious injuries. The passenger was arrested.
* And then she tried to give the cops a fiver.
* It was a fare fight.
* Of course the driver refused the money. It’s Los Angeles – what the heck can you buy for a dollar?
* The driver should have charged 5 bucks to all the other passengers for the show.

WIFE WANTS HUSBAND WHO DROVE HER OFF A CLIFF TO COME HOME

The wife of a California doctor accused of driving his family off a 250-foot cliff last year told a San Mateo court that she wants her husband home. Doctor Dharmesh Patel, 42, was charged with attempted murder after allegedly driving himself, his wife and their two children off Devil’s Slide cliff on Highway 1 in his Tesla. They all survived. His wife, Neha Patel, now says she doesn’t want her husband prosecuted. She asked the court to require her husband to receive mental health treatment rather than prison time and offered testimony regarding his character before the near-fatal crash. She said they met in 1999 and have been married for 16 years as of Friday. She described Dharmesh as a “productive member of society” and her “best friend.” She said, “I was drawn to him because he was the most down-to-earth and humble man I’ve ever met.”
* Well, he WAS taking her down to earth. At the speed of gravity.
* She’s falling for him all over again.
* Are they sure it wasn’t another Tesla self-driving accident?
* I’m sure the two kids are going, “Hey, mom, how about a vote on this. Majority rules.”
* Folks, please leave the cliff diving to the professionals.

WEST VIRGINIA RESIDENTS PROTEST “NO JUNK CARS ON FRONT LAWN” ORDINANCE

Nineteen people received letters last week from the town of Glasgow, West Virginia, saying the junked cars on their property were in violation of a town ordinance. The letter stated that the town has begun a beautification project, and the cars were inoperative, unlicensed, or unregistered. It was standing room only at the next city council meeting, as residents lined up to argue if the cars are on their property, the town doesn’t have the right to tell them what to do with them.
– As one resident put it, “When you come and pay my taxes, pay my bills, you can tell me what to do in my yard but until then, no.”
– Another: “I brought four cars in here from North Carolina I’ve had for 20 years, and to me they look better than your crap or anybody else’s in here.”
The mayor of Glasgow, Donald P. Fannin, is standing behind the ordinance, saying at the meeting, “We have some cars in this town that was sitting there for years and years and years. They were rust buckets. Cats were just breeding in them.”
* Oh, sure, now get PETA involved.
* First they came for the rusty cars. Then they came for the porch couches.
* A town beautification project? For who? The crowds of tourists from Europe?
* Does the mayor realize that if you take the wheels off a junk car and put it up on concrete blocks, it officially becomes a “planter”?
* And then tempers settled down, and everyone went back to their stills.

BOY SCOUTS CHANGE NAME

The Boy Scouts of America is changing its name for the first time in its 114-year history. It will now become Scouting America. The organization has made seismic changes after decades of turmoil. They are currently emerging from bankruptcy following a flood of sexual abuse claims and seeking to focus on inclusion. They are now welcoming gay youth and girls to the program. Roger Krone, who took over last fall as president and chief executive officer, said Tuesday at its annual meeting in Florida, “In the next 100 years we want any youth in America to feel very, very welcome to come into our programs.”
* “At this point, we can’t afford to turn down money from ANYBODY.”
* They almost called it “The Always Another Adult Present Club.”
* I glad they didn’t go with “Scouting, For Young Boys And Girls.”
* What’s a boy scout to do now that they’ve taken away his Swiss army knife? (see story in International News)

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

SWISS ARMY KNIFE WITHOUT THE KNIFE

In response to an increasing number of countries imposing bans or restrictions on carrying knives, Victorinox, the Swiss firm that produces the famous Swiss Army Knife, is developing a knifeless version of the Swiss Army Knife. Carl Elsener, CEO of the family-run company, says they are concerned about the increasing regulation of knives due to the violence in the world, so they want to have a tool on the market that doesn’t include a blade. The company produces about 10 million Swiss Army Knives each year. There are about 400 different types to choose from, including one that boasts 73 functions. However, until now they have always had at least one blade.
* It’s the end of whittling as we know it.
* It’s not like the Swiss army does any fighting. What do they need a knife for?
* But if you need to cut a piece of paper with some worthless little scissors, the Swiss army is right there with their knives, boy,
* What about the dangers of all the other tools? There’s at least two dozen things on those knives you could poke somebody in the eye with.

TRENDING

JOHNNY CASH STATUE TO STAND IN U.S. CAPITOL

The U.S. Capitol is getting a statue of Johnny Cash. In the Capitol, each state is allowed to place a couple of things representative of their state. Arkansas currently has statues of two obscure political figures from long ago. They are going to replace them with a statue of Johnny Cash, who was born in Kingsland, a tiny town about 60 miles south of Little Rock. The other statue will be of Arkansas civil rights worker Daisy Bates, who headed the state NAACP, mentored the Black students known as the Little Rock Nine who integrated Central High School in 1957.

DISNEY: LET’S TRY QUALITY INSTEAD OF QUANTITY

Disney has announced that it will release no more than three Marvel films and up to two Disney+ shows each year going forward as it works to place more focus on quality output rather than quantity. The announcement by CEO Bob Iger comes as Disney shares plunged 8% in Tuesday trading. This year will see the release of just one Marvel film: “Deadpool and Wolverine,” slated for a July 26 release. The next Marvel film, a Captain America sequel, won’t be released until at least February 2025. “Thunderbolts,” a film focused on Captain America sidekick Bucky Barnes, is scheduled for May 2025.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

Matt Davis (actor, “Legacies,” “The Originals,” “The Vampire Diaries”) … 46
Enrique Iglesias (singer) … 49
Del Gray (drummer with Little Texas) … 56
Melissa Gilbert (actress, “Little House On The Prairie”) … 60
Alex Van Halen (drummer with Van Halen) … 71
Philip Bailey (singer with Earth Wind & Fire) … 73
Toni Tennille (singer, “The Captain and Tennille”) … 84

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m a good person, but with many defects.”

(A) Vladimir Putin
(B) Kim Jong-un
(C) Enrique Iglesias

ANSWER: Enrique Iglesias

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2019 – Facebook co-founder Chris Hughes wrote a “New York Times” Op-Ed essay arguing that Facebook should be split up and regulated.
* Was he ever seen alive again?

1987 – Gary Hart quit the democratic presidential race over the Donna Rice affair.
* Why couldn’t he just wait until he got to the Oval Office to fool around, like other guys?

1952 – Mad Magazine debuted.
* With Alfred E. Neuman proving that even geeky looking kids could get on a magazine cover.

1886 – Jacob’s Pharmacy in Atlanta sold the first serving of pharmacist John Pemberton’s concoction Coca-Cola which, as you may know, in those days actually contained cocaine.
* So it was served with a straw …

1879 – George Selden of Rochester, New York, filed the first patent for an automobile – it was not granted until 1895.
* I’m thinking Henry Ford had the fix in at the patent office.

1847 – The rubber tire was invented.
* And all the people who crossed the country on wooden wagon wheels said, “Oh, sure – NOW you come up with a nice tire!”

1794 – The U.S. Post Office was established.
* And the next day, Noah Webster added the word “disgruntled” to his new dictionary.

1660 – The British Monarchy was restored to the throne after the English Civil War.
* The throne was given back to the people it belonged to – a load of half-German aristocrats.

266 B.C. – The first recorded description of an umbrella was made, in ancient Rome.
* Of course, being carved out of stone, ancient Roman umbrellas were just a little cumbersome.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Following his unexpected death, Prince had the top two spots on the Billboard albums chart with “The Very Best of Prince” at No.1 and “Purple Rain” at No.2. With his music unavailable on most streaming services and download distributors, physical albums were in many cases the best way to get his music.

2013 – Ja Rule was released from prison after serving nearly two years on gun and tax evasion charges. The 37-year-old pleaded guilty to not filing tax returns over a five-year period in 2011 and attempted criminal possession of a weapon the year before. He was sentenced to 28 months in prison after failing to pay $1.1m in taxes between 2004 and 2008. The rapper was also sentenced to two years in prison for possessing a semi-automatic handgun, which police found hidden in his car after a concert in New York in 2007.

2006 – The Rolling Stones called off their forthcoming European tour after guitarist Keith Richards underwent emergency brain surgery. The 62 year-old guitarist suffered “mild concussion” when he fell out of a coconut tree while on vacation in Fiji.

1999 – Ricky Martin went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Livin’ La Vida Loca.”

1996 – A Los Angeles judge ruled against Tommy Lee and wife Pamela Anderson in their bid to keep Penthouse magazine from publishing still photos from an X-rated home movie that was stolen from their home.

1993 – Dire Straits guitarist Mark Knopfler got an honorary degree from England’s Newcastle University.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 31% of married men will use THIS for an average of 7 years before replacing it. What is it?
Underwear

2. According To Men’s Health, 66% of men do THIS on weekends. What is it?
Call their mom

3. 75% of men surveyed said they believe men have a more natural ability to do THIS than women. What is it?
Tell a joke

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