MONDAY, Apr 29 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR MONDAY, April 29, 2024
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TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL DANCE DAY

NATIONAL SHRIMP SCAMPI DAY

NATIONAL TEACH CHILDREN TO SAVE DAY

WORLD WISH DAY
The anniversary of the wish that inspired the founding of Make-A-Wish® in 1980. More info at the Worldwish (dot)(org) website.

ZIPPER DAY
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“The exact birthday of the zipper is debated, but Zipper Day is traditionally celebrated on April 29. On that date in 1913, Swedish-American scientist and inventor Gideon Sundback received a patent for a curious contraption he called a ‘hook-less fastener’. Although similar inventions had been around since the 1850s, his version is widely accepted as the first modern zipper.”

April is:

Adopt a Greyhound Month
Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

TUESDAY, Apr 30

“Hostage Rescue”
The CW – New Series
Synopsis: Real-life stories of hostages in peril around the world, and the heroes who risk everything to save them.

“Police 24/7”
The CW – New Series
Synopsis: Reality footage from the world of sheriffs and police departments across the United States.

“The Veil”
Hulu – New Series
Synopsis: Elisabeth Moss and Yumna Marwan star as a pair of women engaged in a globe-trotting game of cat and mouse. One woman has a secret, the other a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost.

WEDNESDAY, May 1

Season Premiere:
Paramount+ – “Behind the Music”

THE BUZZ

ONE IN FIVE PEOPLE CONSIDERED LEAVING SPOUSE AT THE ALTAR

According to a new survey of 2,000 Americans who got married between 2021 and 2024, from USA Today Blueprint, one in five recently married Americans admit they almost didn’t show up to the altar on their wedding day. 20% of those polled admitted to getting cold feet before their big day and nearly calling the whole thing off.
* The other 80% considered leaving their family at the wedding and eloping to Vegas.
* Of course, this was a survey of people who got married. We’ll never know how many others actually DID call it off.
* This why you have cake at a wedding. No one leaves when there’s a promise of cake.
* It’s a kind of discouraging survey, but at least they didn’t release it right before Valentine’s Day.
* PHONE TOPIC: Ever been to a wedding where it was called off? What happened?

U.S. NEWS

FLORIDA BOAT THIEF DISGUISES SELF AS A WOMAN

A Florida man trying to evade police was apprehended wearing a wig and dress. Officers in Lakeport, Florida, were investigating a stolen boat. While searching for the suspect, Joshua Kolotka, 33, they saw a man exiting a residence “dressed as a woman in an attempt to disguise himself.” He wearing a short blonde wig, sunglasses, a feather-patterned blue dress and a white cardigan sweater (* What gave him away was the suspenders). Police recovered several other stolen items from thefts in the area. Authorities believe Kolotka stole the boat and was attempting to disappear.
* They knew it was their boat thief. They could tell by the dinghy.
* They knew they had their suspect when he failed to identify his pronouns.
* Dude Looks Like a Lady – Not!.
* He kept telling the cops, “I’m late for library story hour!”

CAT ACCIDENTALLY PACKED, SHIPPED IN RETURN PACKAGE TO AMAZON

A pet kitty survived a week without food or water after being accidentally shipped off in an Amazon return box by its owners. Utah resident Carrie Clark first noticed Galena had gone missing on April 10, prompting a frantic search of the neighborhood for any sign of the missing animal. A week later, an Amazon warehouse worker in California named Brandy was startled when she opened a returned package and out popped a cat. The box was a ‘try before you buy’ and filled with steel-toed work boots. The worker took the cat a vet, who read the cat’s microchip and identified the owner in Utah. Clark was stunned when she received a call from the vet in California saying that Galena was brought in to the clinic. She and her husband flew to California to retrieve Galena the following day, delighted to meet Brandy and thank her for finding and caring for their cat.
* Galena wasn’t so delighted – she likes California way more than Utah.
* Pretty soon, somebody somewhere is going to receive a pair of work boots from Amazon and say, “Why do these smell like cat pee?”
* Did they shop the box Purr-cel Post? Har har!
* Now, when Carrie Clark and her husband are doing something with a cardboard box … Galena jumps right in it. Cats are morons.

EMERGENCY SLIDE FALLS OFF BOEING PLANE IN THE AIR

An emergency slide fell off a Delta plane – a Boeing 767 – while it was in the air Friday morning, forcing the flight to return to New York’s JFK Airport. The crew had reported a vibration, according to the FAA. The plane returned safely. Cops were still searching for the missing chute early Friday afternoon and sources believe it could have fallen into Jamaica Bay.
* Jamaica Bay? Hey – free water slide!
* The crew felt a vibration, but they thought it was just those crappy Boeing wing flaps again.
* Before every Boeing plane takes off, it should be given a once-over by a couple repair guys from Midas.
* Once again, people, Boeing asks you… do you want an emergency slide which gets used almost never, or do you want the plug door on the plane to stay on? Those bolts have to come from somewhere.

MAN SETS TREE-HUGGING RECORD

A Ghana man studying forestry in Alabama set a world record for most trees hugged in an hour, hugging 1,123 trees at Tuskegee National Forest. Abubakar Tahiru, 29, is pursuing a master’s degree in forestry at Auburn University. The record attempt required that Tahiru wrap both of his arms around each tree in a close embrace without causing any damage to the trees. No tree could be hugged more than once. Averaging 19 trees per minute, Tahiru easily surpassed the minimum requirement of 700 trees to establish the record. He says he did it to promote environmental awareness.
* I wasn’t aware of the environment before, but now I am. And this is all it took.
* Afterwards, he was treated by a doctor for an STD, but it just turned out to be poison oak.
* Unwanted intimate touching. Where’s the #MeToo movement for plant life?
* He now says he’s engaged to a sycamore. He says it was the one that gave him a woody.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

WOMAN THINKS HER DEAD HUSBAND IS IN A RESTAURANT COMMERCIAL

A British woman is convinced her husband is appearing in a new video commercial for a restaurant even though he died 10 years ago. Lucy Watson came across the ad for the Spice Cottage Indian restaurant on her Facebook feed. The camera zooms past several tables full of happy diners. Watson is convinced two of those diners are her late husband and his son. She thinks the restaurant is using old footage. The restaurant claims the footage was recorded a couple of weeks ago, and as proof they cite the fact that they had just redecorated. Commentors have suggested that perhaps her husband faked his death. But Lucy says she was with him in 2014 when he was very sick in the hospital waiting for a liver transplant. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it.
* And in the commercial – HE’S EATING LIVER! oooooOOOOOOOooooooo! ooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!
* Uhh…. A.I.?
* Spice Cottage: now serving zombies.
* “Sir, we’re going to be shooting footage for a commercial in a second. Do we have your permission to use your likeness?” “Sure This’ll drive Lucy absolutely batty!”
* He died ten years ago, and they’re just now bringing out his food? I’ve been to that restaurant!
* Some of that Indian food is spicy enough to wake the dead.

DESIGNER JEANS LOOK LIKE YOU WET YOUR PANTS

A new line of Jordanluca jeans have become infamous in the fashion world because they feature a dark stain in the groin area of the pants. The dark coloring on faded denim makes it appear like the wearer has spilled a drink or, more likely, wet themselves. The jeans by the British-Italian menswear brand sell for $811 a pair, but they are now sold out online.
* Well, they’re good conversation starters. Or enders.
* “Do you need to use the bathroom?” “No, why do you keep asking?”
* These would be helpful if you’re at a concert or baseball game and you don’t want to leave your seat to use the bathroom.
* Every pair comes with a complimentary sample of Shout Stain Removing Laundry Detergent.
* If someone I knew had paid $800 for a pair of jeans, I’d pee MY pants.

TRENDING

SMASHING PUMPKINS FINDS NEW GUITARIST

A few months ago, Smashing Pumpkins went public advertising for a new touring guitarist. The band said it received over 10,000 submissions and had eight people working full-time to review each one. But they found one: Kiki Wong, who plays for the band Vigil of War, is the Pumpkins’ new touring guitarist. Wong will join Corgan, Jimmy Chamberlin, James Iha, Jack Bates and Katie Cole on the Smashing Pumpkins’ upcoming World is a Vampire tour. The North American leg of the tour kicks off July 29 in Washington and concludes Sept. 28 in San Diego.

NFL COMMISSIONER WANTS TO ELIMINATE PRE-SEASON, ADD MORE REAL GAMES

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said he would like to replace a preseason game with a regular-season contest. During an appearance on “The Pat McAfee Show”, McAfee asked if there’s a plan to continue to expand the number of games played in a single season or add another bye week to expand exposure. The commissioner said, “I think we’re good at seventeen games right now but we’re always looking at how we continue. I’m not a fan of the preseason and I’d replace a preseason game with a regular season game any day.”

FINALLY, SOME DEFINITE “YELLOWSTONE” NEWS

“Yellowstone” actor Ian Bohen, who stars as Ryan (* who now?) has given some solid news on the show’s highly-anticipated series finale. He assured fans that the show will be airing the second half of its long-awaited fifth and final season starting in November. He says, “The fans are going to get the [best] conclusion that could possibly be written. Everything will land in a way that is perfectly set. A lot of shows just kind of finish… and they don’t satisfy you. This will be completed in a way that it will make sense. I don’t know that any show has finished this strongly ever. We’re expecting to have the best series finale in history. Overconfident maybe, but I think that’s what it’s going to be. We thank everyone for their patience… It’ll be worth the wait, I promise.”

“BABY REINDEER” STALKER NOW SAYS SHE’S THE VICTIM

The Netflix miniseries “Baby Reindeer” is a surprise hit. It tells the true the story of a struggling British standup comic who offers kindness to a woman at a pub, and the woman turns into an intense stalker. Although the character was changed quite a bit for the TV series, a British tabloid has tracked the actual woman down. She’s 58, she claims she is the real-life figure who inspired the fictionalized character and she says she is not a stalker: “I’m the victim. He’s written a bloody show about me.” She claims the series is “bullying an older woman on television for fame and fortune.” In the TV series, the fictionalized stalker sends the comic more than 41,000 emails, 744 tweets, 100 pages of letters and 350 hours of voicemails.

NICOLE KIDMAN GETS AFI LIFE ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

Over the weekend, Nicole Kidman received the AFI Life Achievement Award. The celebrities were out to sing Kidman’s praises. Morgan Freeman said, She makes movies better.” Meryl Streep said a tottally acting thing: “People call it bravery when an actress bares all and leaps off into the unknown and she dives deep into the darker parts of what it is to be a human being. But I don’t think it’s bravery. I think it’s love. I think she just loves it.” Kidman said herself, “It is a privilege to make films. And glorious to have made films and television with these storytellers who allowed me to run wild and be free and play all of these unconventional women. Thank you for making me better at my craft and giving me a place, however temporary, in this world.”

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (April 26-28)

1. Challengers – $15.2 million
2. Unsung Hero – $7.5 million
3. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire – $7.2 million
4. Civil War – $7 million
5. Abigail – $5.25 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

Megan Boone (actress, “The Blacklist”) … 41
Tyler Labine (actor, “New Amsterdam”) … 46
Uma Thurman (actress) … 54
Carnie Wilson (singer with Wilson Phillips) … 56
Michelle Pfeiffer (actress) … 66
Daniel Day-Lewis (actor) … 67
Kate Mulgrew (actress, “Orange Is The New Black”, “Star Trek: Voyager”) … 69
Jerry Seinfeld (comedian/actor) … 70
Duane Allen (country singer with The Oak Ridge Boys) … 81
Willie Nelson (country music legend, legendary stoner) … 91

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“The thing about life that no one can believe, is that what we’re doing is actually it.”

(A) Dr. Phil
(B) Deepak Chopra
(C) Jerry Seinfeld

ANSWER: (C) Jerry Seinfeld

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2018 – Sweden’s official Twitter account confirmed Swedish meatballs actually originated in Turkey.
* Well, at least Sweden can still claim Gubbröra egg-and-anchovy salad, which Turkey wants nothing to do with.

1997 – A worldwide treaty to ban chemical weapons went into effect.
* Sadly, it did not include Axe Body Spray.

1992 – The Los Angeles riots which claimed 54 lives and caused $1 billion in damage began after four police officers were acquitted of most charges in the videotaped beating of Rodney King.
* Rodney asked the public “Can’t we all just get along?”, one of the great rhetorical questions of all time.

1930 – The first telephone call was made over the England-Australia cable.
* I wonder which accent was harder to understand?

1913 – Gideon Sundback of Hoboken, New Jersey was granted a patent for the zipper.
* He had a weak bladder and needed a way to get his pants open faster.

1894 – Electric arc lights were used for the first time, in Cleveland.
* People agreed electric lights were a bright idea. Then they got their bills and they were shocked.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2009 – An anonymous Queen fan won a two-hour one-on-one guitar lesson with Brian May, after bidding approximately $11,900 at a private charity auction. The auction, in support of the Action for Brazil’s Children Trust, of which May was a patron, was held at the exclusive Cuckoo Club in London.

2007 – Avril Lavigne was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with her third album “The Best Damn Thing.”

2001 – Rod Stewart asked for a change in wedding vows bringing them up to-date and to be treated like a dog license. Stewart said “a change is needed because they’ve been in existence for 600 years when people used to live until they were only 35.”

1998 – Steven Tyler broke his knee at a concert in Anchorage, Alaska delaying Aerosmith’s “Nine Lives” tour and necessitating camera angle adjustments for the filming of the video for “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.”

1995 – Rapper Tupac Shakur married Keisha Morris inside the Clinton Correctional Facility, where he was serving a four-year jail term for sex abuse.

1992 – Paula Abdul married actor Emilio Estevez. They separated in May, 1994.

1989 – Jon Bon Jovi married childhood sweetheart Dorothea Hurly on the steps of the Graceland Chapel, Las Vegas.

1976 – After a gig in Memphis, Bruce Springsteen took a cab to Elvis Presley’s Graceland home and proceeded to climb over the wall. A guard took him to be another crank fan and apprehended him.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 67% of people studied believe that when it comes to work, THIS is outdated. What is it?
The traditional pay period of once or twice a month

2. 52% of people surveyed said they have lost THIS at work. What is it?
Their temper

3. 36% of us say THESE should never be worn in the office. What are they?
Crocs

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