CDC GUIDELINES FOR REOPENING OFFICES
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued guidelines for reopening offices. Here are some of the precautions they recommend before you go back to work:
– Ensure that building ventilation systems are operating properly. Open windows and doors, when feasible, to increase circulation of outdoor air as much as possible.
– Identify work or common areas where workers may be less than 6 feet apart — such as break rooms or meeting rooms, for instance. Modify workspace setups to ensure employees are able to social distance from one another. When this is not possible, the CDC advises to install transparent shields or other physical barriers where possible.
– High-touch items – such as coffee pots and bulk snacks – should be replaced with pre-packaged or single-serving items.
– Daily temperature checks, staggered shifts, and the forbidding of handshaking, hugs, and fist bumps should become the norm.
– Employers should actively encourage employees who have symptoms of COVID-19 or who have a sick family member to notify their supervisor and stay home.
* … unless, as we’ve learned, you work for Amazon or a meat packing plant.
* Our office coffee pot was responsible for a few fatalities even before the pandemic.
* It’s been a long time since I’ve worked at a place where I wanted to hug someone.
* If multiple people will be handling the same documents, such as legal papers, wipe them down between each person with a Clorox cloth, until the ink is all smeared and it’s unreadable.
* The great thing about transparent shields is, they also block out bad breath.
* Here are some other guidelines for reopening offices:
– If anybody stops at your desk to talk, blast them with one of those air-horns-in-a-can. (see audio clip below.)
– Park as far away from the front door as you can. This will help insure that I get a close-in parking space.
– Avoid Luther in accounting. Not because he’s got COVID, but just because he’s weird.
– Make sure you eat up all the food you left in the breakroom refrigerator months ago first, before bringing in anything fresh. Don’t be wasteful, think of the environment.
CLIP: Airhorn sound effect.
