69 DEGREES IN ANTARCTIC

A research station on an island in the Antarctic recorded a new record-high temperature of 69 degrees Fahrenheit for the region – less than a week after the temperature record was shattered when it reached 65. Normal temperatures for this time of year on the island are around 23 degrees Farenheit. Brazilian scientists (* Boy, that’s a lot of scientists!) venture out to the remote Seymour Island every few days to take a temperature reading. But this reading floored them. The Brazilian researchers said temperatures are getting dramatically hotter due to ocean currents shifting as the seas warm up due to you-know-what.
* A joke: What’s grey? A melted penguin.
* When Al Gore heard the news, he broke into a little twerking dance, and I’m really sorry I put that picture in your head.
* It’s so hot in Antarctica, the sea cows are giving evaporated milk.
* It’s so hot, the petrels are laying hard boiled eggs. You see, petrels are a common Antarctic bird. If you watch NatGeo, that joke is hilarious.
* If the Brazilians are smart, they’ll stake a claim and start selling beachfront property, ’cause in another 20 years those beaches will be worth a fortune.
* Dang – now I want a Slushee.