146 LOTTERY WINNERS HAVE PLAYED FORTUNE COOKIE NUMBERS

A recent survey by OpenFortune, a fortune cookie manufacturing group, says at least 146 lottery winners between 2004 and 2021 chose their lucky numbers based on the fortune inside their cookie.
– All told, those 146 winners reaped more than $406 million in winnings stemming from Powerball, Mega Millions, Daily Draw and scratch-off tickets in 40 states. 93% earned more than $100,000 each.
– In a state-by-state analysis, more people won based on a fortune cookie in South Carolina (15 players), Pennsylvania (13 players) and Tennessee (12 players), while most other states boasted less than a few.
– The luckiest numbers of all have been 4, 14, 15, 22, 26 and 28.
* …in bed.
* It’s a foolish man who can’t differentiate between statistics and dumb luck. I read that in a fortune cookie.
* Before you get to excited… According to the magazine Chinese Restaurant News, there are nearly 41,000 Chinese restaurants in the United States. Let’s say each restaurant gives out 20 fortune cookies a day, for 17 years. That’s 41,000 x 20 cookies x 365 days x 17 years = 5,088,100,000-to-one odds that you’re going to win with fortune cookie numbers.
* But if you don’t win with your fortune cookie numbers, it could just mean you went to the restaurant on the wrong night and missed getting the lucky fortune cookie.

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SHIA LABEOUF IN HIS ___ IN AN _ LOBBY

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HALF OF AMERICA DOESN’T GO TO THE MOVIES ANYMORE

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OSCAR NOMINEE GIFT BAGS

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JOKE OF THE DAY

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How did the magician get chocolate on his shirt?

posted March 20

He had some Twix up his sleeve.

What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?

posted March 19

“Nice pajamas.”

A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.

posted March 18

One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”

Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?

posted March 17

He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

Guy staggers into a bar.

posted March 16

Bartender says, “You look beat.” Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.” Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.” Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”