105-YEAR-OLD WOMAN GETS THIGH TATTOOS

Epifania Maria de Jesus Mendes, a 105-year-old woman from Brazil, has become the oldest known woman to get tattooed. Epifania was born in 1917, and she has 18 children, tons of grandkids and great-grandkids and great-great-grandkids, and now has her eyes set on achieving a world title for the Guinness World Records for the oldest woman to get tattoos. Epiphania got a golden key inked on her arm, along with the phrase “Only love builds” two days later. She previously had a hummingbird drinking nectar on one thigh and a red rose on the other thigh.
* Don’t get a picture… don’t get a picture… don’t get a picture…
* Why not? If she gets buyer’s remorse, how long would it last?
* It must be like trying to draw the lumberjack on a used paper towel from a gas station bathroom.
* The tattoo artist had vowed never to work on the elderly, but then he had an Epifania.
* You know, your body changes over the years and she may regret getting a tattoo because it could start sagging in another 20 or 30, uh, minutes.
* Everybody can be famous for 15 minutes, and boy she got in right under the wire.