Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
AUDIO: MR. ROGERS CHANNEL ON YOUTUBE
It’s a beautiful day.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
REALITY TV STAR WINNER OF THE IDITAROD DOGSLED RACE
The dogs had something to do with it, too.
ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS LIST
WInner winner, not for Sinners.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
THE RAZZIE AWARDS: WINNERS LIST
Ptthhhhhht!
SESAME STREET SUES SEA WORLD
Big Bird, big lawsuit.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Why should you wear glasses when doing math?
They really help with da vision.
Why did the puppy need to lose weight?
It was a little husky.
How did the magician get chocolate on his shirt?
He had some Twix up his sleeve.
What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?
“Nice pajamas.”
A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.
One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”
U.S. NEWS
18-YEAR-OLD KID FILLS POTHOLES, SHAMES CITY
Local hero.
NEW! METH-HEAD BARBIE
(Narcan not included.)
FAVORITE FAST FOOD ITEMS, BY RESTAURANT
It’s good to be the King.
CAR THIEVES BRING KITTEN ALONG FOR THE JOB
Kitty cornered.
NO TWERKING AT SPRING BREAK
Talk about bustin’ ass.
QUAD-AMPUTEE CORNHOLER ACCUSED OF MURDER
Warning: Bad taste jokes ahead.
COP JUMPS ON HOOD OF RANDOM MOVING CAR TO CHASE SUSPECT
Police training goes right out the window.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
POPE HOLDS AN EXORCIST SUMMIT
The hell he did.
WHALE STRANDED ON GERMAN BEACH
Das Meer war an diesem Tag wütend, meine Freunde.
CANADIAN DISASTER: TIM HORTON’S COLOR-CHANGING MUGS RECALLED
The Great White Ouch.
STRANDED SKIERS WRITE S.O.S. WITH ICE CHUNKS
Never mind, it says, “HELF.”
KAYAKERS ATTACKED BY HOT AIR BALLOON
The Golden Age Of Ambush Ballooning.
GOLDFISH DRIVES CAR 40 FEET
It was a little car.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Cowabunga, Dude
The Last Thing A Bread Crumb Sees
Mola Ram, Prepare To Meet Kali… in Hell!
Serious Hair
Do You Know How Hello You Were Kittying?
And God Created The Cat Meme
THE BUZZ
SURVEY: SURVIVING IN THE WILDERNESS
Everybody thinks they’re Bear Grylls.
IT USED TO BE FUN
Pretty much everything.
POLL: WHAT IS MORALLY WRONG?
What isn’t these days, ammirite?
AT LAST, A CLEAR-CUT DEFINITION OF COMPULSIVE SHOPPING DISORDER
I’m not buyin’ it.
THE BEST/WORST DOG NAMES
At least it’s not Bella.
NEED A BABYSITTER? GO TO HOME DEPOT
An oversensory wonderland!
I’LL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN
Miserable experiences.
DUMB HEADLINES
The headlines that make you go: “Nope.”
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
THEY WILL KILL YOU
Starts Friday, March 27 in theaters.
FORBIDDEN FRUITS
Starts Friday, March 27 in theaters.
PROJECT HAIL MARY
Starts Friday, March 20 in theaters.
READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME
Starts Friday, March 20 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
A & M AUTOLAND – Dollar Days
Big Al’s calling his sale Dollar Days, even though he has no cents.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 20.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
SONG: MY FAVORITE SPRING BREAK
These are what kids do on break in the spring.
A & M AUTOLAND – Suggestion Box
Big Al and Big Mike are asking for feedback – and boy are they going to get it.
SONG: WHEN YOU’RE IRISH IN A BAR
‘Tis a song for the day, boyo.
JACK 0’LANTERNS
We overstocked at Halloween.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 13.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Anniversary
Sometimes, anniversaries are joyous occasions. Sometimes not.
ADOLESCENT MOTIVATION CENTER
Tried and true methods that work!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 6.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – EZLease
Sorry, but with Al and Mike, nothing is ever easy.
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