WEDNESDAY, Oct 26 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, October 26, 2022
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Halloween Pumpkins; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL MINCEMEAT DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Mincemeat Day celebrates a sweet and tasty meat treat. Today, it is most often served as Minced Meat Pie. Over the years, the amount of meat in the recipes was reduced. More modern recipes contain little or no meat, and it is largely a fruity pie. It remains a traditional pie at Thanksgiving for many families. So, just what is mincemeat? It is a mixture of minced (or chopped up) meats, suet, and fruits. Fruits include raisins, apples, pears, and others. Sometimes liquor is added, most commonly brandy or rum.”

NATIONAL MULE DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“A mule is a hybrid cross between a male donkey and a female horse. The mule possesses the strength, intelligence, patience, perseverance, endurance, sure-footedness and even temper of the donkey. From the horse, the mule inherits beauty, athletic ability, courage, vigor and speed. Mules appear to require less food than a horse of similar size.”

NATIONAL PUMPKIN DAY

PRETZEL DAY

October is:

Adopt a Shelter Dog Month
American Cheese Month
Car Care Month
Child Health Month
Consumer Information Month
Cookbook Month
Country Music Month
Fire Prevention Month
National Pizza Month
National Popcorn Month
National Service Dog Month
Vegetarian Awareness Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WEALTHY HOLLYWOOD ORGANIZATION NEEDS YOUR MONEY DESPERATELY

If you watched Celebrity Jeopardy on Sunday night, one of the contestants, the great character actor John Michael Higgins, announced that the charity he was playing for was the Motion Picture & Television Fund – an odd choice it seemed, whereas most celebrities play for disease cures or neighborhood charities. But now, the Motion Picture & Television Fund has formally announced that they “desperately” and “urgently” need donations amid a steep drop in cash reserves. Bob Beitcher, the organization’s president, wrote an email saying “right now, things don’t look good. Since the start of the pandemic in March 2020, MPTF has incurred a staggering operating shortfall—the result of COVID-related costs for residents and staff on our campus in Woodland Hills, nursing shortages and lower occupancy rates, and lost revenues from our major events during the pandemic—all costing us over $20 million. (Woodland Hills is a retirement community for old actors and industry workers that houses over 200 residents.) Beitcher writes, “Without some dramatic infusion of funds, we will not be able to take care of our own much longer.”
* Is that Bob Beitcher or Bob Bitcher?
* Hold on… I’m checking the grosses for this year’s movies (true!): Top Gun: Maverick – $1.4 billion… Jurassic World: Dominion – 1 biillion… Dr. Strange in the Multiverse – $955 million… Minions:Rise of Gru – $932 million… So, yeah, I’ll send them a couple of bucks.
* Won’t you please give so Michael Caine can retire?
* I’m sorry, but name one actor in the world who’s not working right now. If you’re an actor, and you’re not on at least four TV shows right now, you need to find a better agent.
* Have you SEEN the amount of TV shows and movies out there now? There’s a freaking actor shortage. I think I saw my dental hygienist on an episode of “Bob Hearts Abishola.”

THE BUZZ

NEW BEAUTY TREND: ABOUT TO CRY

According to TikTok, the newest beauty trend is looking like you’re about to cry. Makeup artist Zoe Kim Kenealy posted a now-viral TikTok showing how to achieve a tearful look through makeup. In the clip Kenealy creates a redness around her eyes, nose and cheeks using powder and makes her eyes look teary with liquid glitter eye shadow. To finish, she smudges the lips with a combination of color and gloss, then adds some glittery gel on her face to imitate tears.
* Don’t forget the dried snot under the nose. Very important to complete the look.
* Good news: If you have bad allergies, you don’t even have to bother!
* Oh, please – what in the world is there to cry about these days?
* And when you see how much it costs to get this look, you’ll break into tears.

NEEDED TO RETIRE COMFORTABLY: $1.25 MILLION

According to a new study from Northwestern Mutual, Americans now believe they will need $1.25 million to retire comfortably, That number represents a 20% increase over last year, when the number was $1.05 million. The results, which were released by the firm on Tuesday, are based on an online survey conducted in February that included 2,381 adults ages 18 and up.
* This is a shame, because cat food doesn’t taste nearly as good as you might think.
* A 20% increase over last year? Thanks, Biden.
* Are we supposed to wait now for somebody to give us 1.25 million dollars? Then we retire? Is that how that works?
* I know a lot of people who would pay me to quit, but nowhere near a million dollars.
* Looks like I’m going to be a little uncomfortable in my retirement. We’re talking sand in your swimsuit uncomfortable.

U.S. NEWS

SUBWAY ATTACK VICTIM CREDITS GWEN STEFANI

A 22-year-old Brooklyn woman who was randomly punched and shoved onto subway tracks last month claims she was able to scramble to safety thanks to her experience climbing up on the stage at Gwen Stefani concerts. The anonymous woman told local news she had just gotten off the train in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn when a man she didn’t know punched her and pushed her onto the subway tracks. Looking at the platform above her at the time, the woman said, she figured it was about the same height as the stage at a recent Las Vegas show where Gwen Stefani had her helped up onstage. She said she was able to climb back on to the platform and sprint out of the station. “It’s because Gwen’s called me on stage so many times. That’s why my body knew what to do.”
* Well worth the hundreds of dollars in ticket cost. And thousands of dollars in service fees.
* New York Metro Transportation Authority is planning on bringing in Gwen Stefani for safety training seminars. Learn how to scramble up onto a subway platform, and then check out the sweet schwag table full of merch!
* She’s damn lucky she didn’t go see Post Malone instead – he NEVER lets anyone up on stage.
* Would it kill them to put, maybe, a couple of hand grips on the platform edge, or a little step ladder to help people climb up after someone pushes them off the platform? Or would that be against the city’s new “survival of the fittest” initiative?
* So, remember, folks – when you’re in a jam, just think those five special words: “What Would Gwen Stefani Do?”

14-YEAR-OLD GIRL STEALS $10,000 FROM GRANDMA, HANDS IT OUT TO FELLOW STUDENTS

A 14-year-old girl at a Florida middle school handed out more than $10,000 that officials say she stole from her grandmother’s safe. It happened last Thursday at Lake Weir Middle School in Summerfield. School officials heard that a student was giving classmates hundreds of dollars each. They searched the girl’s backpack and found about $2,500. Investigators determined that the girl had broken into her grandmother’s home safe and stolen about $13,500 of the woman’s life savings. As of last week, they had recovered only around $700. They didn’t say why the girl allegedly took the money or why she gave it away to her classmates.
* Because no one would sit with her at lunch, but now they do.
* On the bright side, she got an A+ on her “How The Government Works” civics project.
* At least tell us the brand of safe so we never buy one.
* So, Grandma – too cheap to get a safety deposit box?
* Can we praise her for at least not bringing in a gun?

MYSTERY SOLVED: BACKYARD BURIED CAR WAS INSURANCE FRAUD

They have figured out the mystery behind that Mercedes convertible buried in the backyard of a fancy estate in Atherton, California. Police received a call last Thursday morning for a report of a buried vehicle that was uncovered while landscaping work was being done in the yard. Over the course of the next several days, excavators and investigators worked to remove the vehicle from the scene and find answers to how and why it had been placed there. The answer: 30 years ago, in 1992, Johnny Bocktune Lew, the man who built the $15 million estate, reported his Mercedes-Benz stolen. Lew received between $87,000 and $88,000 in insurance money for the reportedly stolen vehicle. Lew had a checkered past that included attempted murder convictions and an arrest for insurance fraud, when he paid some people to sink a boat he owned. Mr. Lew died in 2015.
* So, the moral of the story: always call Public Service before you dig. I think that’s the moral, anyway.
* They’re lucky they didn’t hit anything important, like the TV cable.
* Man, you try to run a little insurance scam and there’s always people nosin’ around.
* I was hoping it would turn out to be a Car Poltergeist thing – “You moved the junkyard, but you left the cars, didn’t you? You left the car bodies and you only moved the junkyard signs!!!!”
* They know it’s from the 90’s because there was a Macarena CD in the player.
* Gone in 60 Seconds. Back About 30 Years Later.

BIKINI BARISTAS WIN RIGHT TO SERVE COFFEE

A federal court has ruled that the city of Everett, Washington’s dress code for scantily clad coffee servers is unconstitutional. Drive-up shacks featuring “bikini baristas” were popular in Everett, until 2017 when they passed a law prohibiting quick service food and drink workers from showing off certain body parts, including their stomachs, backs below the shoulder blades, and “top three inches of the legs below the buttocks.” But the judge ruled that by targeting women’s attire, the dress code violates the Equal Protection Clause of the U.S. Constitution.
* I would feel much safer getting a cup of coffee from a bikini barista than one of those chefs on The Food Network. Every one of them has this huge, bushy beard and ratty hair, and they’re all half bald so you know it’s falling out.
* It’s a big win for the ladies, until the scalding injuries start rising again.
* Drive-up shacks featuring “bikini baristas.” For places that deal in caffeine, they don’t sound very woke.
* Speaking of which – How are guys supposed to know which team a woman is on – the team that doesn’t want us to see them as sex objects, or the team that does? Could they, like, wear a special color hat?
* By the way, “What size cup do you have?” is not an appropriate question to ask at one of these places.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

GUY FINDS WEDDING RING IN OCEAN, OWNER SAYS THROW IT BACK

A UK man, Steve Andrews, the operator of Jersey Lost Rings Metal Detecting, was out on St. Aubin’s Beach on the Jersey Channel islands in September when he found a wedding ring with the year “1989” stamped on it. He posted a picture of it on a Lost and Found Facebook group. A few days later, he was contacted by the original owner. She did not want the ring back. She told him she had tossed it in the ocean after a bad divorce, and asked Andrews to throw it back in.
* Which I’m sure he did.
* She didn’t even want to sell it for the gold that was in it? Yeah, that’s harsh.
* This must have been one of those “and not a dollar in alimony” divorces.
* And there weren’t, like, six or seven hundred other people claimed it was theirs?
* He probably finds so many he should call himself Ward of the Rings.

GRANNY SWALLOWED BY PYTHON

Police in Jambi, Indonesia, made a horrifying discovery after searching the woods for a grandmother who vanished after heading out for a walk. The 54-year-old woman, named Jahrah, disappeared last Friday after going out to collect rubber in the forest near her family home. She was reported missing by relatives after she failed to return. Locals organized search parties and began trawling through the dense woodland. On Sunday, searchers found a 22-foot-long python with a large bulge in its belly in a clearing. Cutting open the beast’s stomach, their fears were confirmed – the 54-year-old had been swallowed whole. Jarah’s body appeared to be largely intact – as were the clothes she was wearing.
* (pause) She had a hat… (old joke.)
* Florida: this is your future.
* I think if I was a Granny, I’d rather get run over by a reindeer.
* “Let’s build our house next to the forest! It’ll be pretty!!”
* Top THAT, Halloween lovers, with your lame-ass ghost stories.

DIRTIEST MAN IN THE WORLD DIES

An Iranian man nicknamed the “dirtiest man in the world” for not taking a shower for decades has died at the age of 94. Amou Haji, who did not wash for more than half a century and was single (* There’s a shocker.), died on Sunday in the southern village of Dejgah. A short documentary film titled “The Strange Life of Amou Haji” was made about his life in 2013. Haji had avoided showering over fears of “getting sick.” But for the first time a few months ago, villagers had taken him to a bathroom to wash.
* See?
* So basically, they’ll just be burying a human-sized crust.
* At least they don’t have to bury him. They’re just going to lay him on the ground and let him blend in.
* Truly, he’s taking a Dirt Nap.
* Who handled the arrangements? Mike Rowe?
* I thought the Dirtiest Man in the World was Sarah Silverman.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Oct. 31, Monday – Halloween
Nov. 6, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Ends, turn clocks back 1 hour
Nov. 11, Friday – Veterans Day
Nov. 24, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Wednesday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:48 p.m. EST
Dec. 25, Sunday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Saturday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Sunday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Folake Olowofoyeku (actress, “Bob Hearts Abishola”) … 39
Jon Heder (actor, cartoon voice actor, “Blades of Glory,” “Napoleon Dynamite) … 45
Seth MacFarlane (writer, producer, director, actor, “Family Guy”, “The Orville”) … 49
Anthony Rapp (actor, “Star Trek: Discovery,” his sexual-harassment accusations against Kevin Spacey sparked multiple additional accusations that canceled the actor. He recently lost his lawsuit against Spacey.) … 51
Keith Urban (country singer) … 55
Thomas Cavanagh (Canadian actor, “The Flash,” “Scrubs,” “Ed”) … 54
Natalie Merchant (singer/songwriter) … 59
Dylan McDermott (actor, “Law & Order: Organized Crime”) … 61
Rita Wilson (actress, Mrs. Tom Hanks) … 66
Keith Strickland (musician with the B52’s) … 69
Hillary Clinton (former presidential candidate, former U.S. Secretary of State, former First Lady) … 75
Pat Sajak (TV game host, “Wheel of Fortune”) … 76
Jaclyn Smith (actress, businesswoman, “Charlie’s Angles” TV show) … 77

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“On a certain day, I will tweet five times, and then I’ll go four days without tweeting at all. It really depends on what time allows. Twitter, priority-wise, has to come after the work is done.”

(A) Joe Biden
(B) Pope Francis
(C) Seth MacFarlane

ANSWER: (C) Seth MacFarlane

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2015 – The World Health Organization classified processed meat as carcinogenic.
* Whoops! Somebody didn’t get their payoff.

2001 – The United States passed the USA PATRIOT Act into law.
* Otherwise known as the “Airport Groping Act.”

1995 – The first World Congress of Housewives was held in Buenos Aires.
* Among the topics they discussed were: “The role of the home-maker in 20th Century Life,” “Changing societal conceptions of the modern housewife,” and “Anybody feeling desperate?”

1939 – Phillips invented the world’s first dry electric shaver.
* Which replaced the rack as the main instrument of modern torture until the dentist’s drill was invented.

1929 – T.W. Evans became the first woman to give birth aboard an aircraft.
* But probably not the first to conceive aboard an aircraft.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – A olive green Manhattan brand acrylic and mohair cardigan worn by Kurt Cobain during Nirvana’s famed appearance on MTV Unplugged become the most expensive sweater sold at auction after fetching almost $340,000. A custom Fender guitar built in 1993 that Cobain used during the band’s In Utero tour was also sold for about $345,000.

2011 – Aerosmith was forced to delay a concert in South America after Steven Tyler fell in his hotel bathroom. The singer suffered cuts to his face and lost two of his teeth ahead of a concert in Asuncion, Paraguay. He was said to have received stitches and had emergency dental work, forcing the gig to be postponed by 24 hours.

2011 – A coroner’s inquest on the death of Amy Winehouse reached a verdict of misadventure. Winehouse’s blood alcohol content at the time of her death was more than five times the legal drunk-driving limit. According to the coroner “The unintended consequences of such potentially fatal levels was her sudden death.”

2003 – American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Measure Of A Man.”

2002 – Jessica Simpson married former 98° member Nick Lachey. The couple were featured on MTV’s “Newlyweds” TV show.

1993 – Catholic churches in San Juan, Puerto Rico asked residents to tie black ribbons on trees in protest against Madonna’s first live appearance in the country.

1991 – Ozzy Osbourne broke his foot after an accident on stage at a gig in Chicago, causing him to cancel the remaining dates of a U.S. tour.

1991 – Legendary promoter Bill Graham was killed when the helicopter he was flying in hit a 200′ utility tower in Sonoma County, California.

1985 – Whitney Houston went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Saving All My Love For You.”

1984 – 19-year-old John D. McCollum killed himself with a .22 caliber handgun after spending the day listening to Ozzy Osbourne records. One year later, McCollum’s parents took court action against Ozzy and CBS Records, alleging that the song “Suicide Solution” from the album Blizzard of Ozz contributed to their son’s death. The case was eventually thrown out of court.

1974 – Barry White scored his only U.S. No.1 album with “Can’t Get Enough.”

1965 – The Queen of England presented The Beatles with their MBE’s at Buckingham Palace, England.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. In surveys, most Americans say they eat THIS for lunch about 50 times each year. What is it?
Nothing.

2. More than 2/3 of Americans have eaten THIS, even though it can be dangerous. What is it?
Raw cookie dough

3. 80% of people who eat THESE don’t tell anyone that they do. What are they?
Prunes

(c) 2022
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111