WEDNESDAY, Nov 2 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, November 2, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Contest; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

COOKIE MONSTER DAY
The Punchbowl website says this:
“Today is Cookie Monster’s Birthday! Have fun as you celebrate the birthday of everyone’s favorite blue monster with a voracious appetite. Jim Henson created the original version of Cookie Monster for a General Foods commercial in 1966, and the beloved character appeared in the very first episode of Sesame Street in 1969. Cookie Monster’s googly eyes are never too big for his stomach, and he’s always ready to enjoy more cookies! Cookies are one of the most popular treats during the holiday season, which is fast approaching. Why not embrace your inner Cookie Monster and host a holiday cookie exchange this year?”

LOOK FOR CIRCLES DAY

NATIONAL DEVILED EGGS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Deviled Eggs Day is today. All of you devils must go forth and consume deviled eggs on this very special day. You can use your favorite recipe, or (hopefully) find a restaurant serving them in recognition of this day. Make plans on getting your fill of Deviled Eggs on National Deviled Eggs Day!”

PLAN YOUR EPITAPH DAY
(some sources say April 6)
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Plan Your Epitaph Day is a day is a little bit morbid for my liking. My first thought was who would create this day? And, why? I don’t want to think about it, let alone plan it. However … When you stop to think about it, maybe it’s best if you do it. You never know what a relative or friend may put on your tombstone once you’re gone. Or, worse still, what if they don’t say anything? While we’re young, we think this is a long ways away. As we age, and get wiser, more of us consider getting directly involved with our epitaph, as well as all of the details of our demise. So, if you need a little nudge to plan your epitaph, let today be the day. Origin of ‘Plan Your Epitaph Day’: We believe Lance Hardie is the creator of Plan Your Epitaph Day. He is the author of ‘How to Write Your Own Epitaph – and Live Long Enough to Enjoy It.’ It was established November 2 to coincide with the Day of the Dead (All Souls Day).”

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

ROCKEFELLER CENTER CHRISTMAS TREE SELECTED

The Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree has been selected. The 90-year-old Norway Spruce comes from a forest in Queenbury, New York. It stands 82 feet tall, 50 feet wide and weighs 14 tons. It will arrive in New York City on Nov. 12. The tree will be decked out with 50,000 lights and topped with a star weighing 900 pounds.
* Yeah, we all put on some weight during Covid.
* Whoa! I just got whiplash jumping from Halloween to Christmas like that.
* Did they check the branches for an owl? There’s always an owl.
* I’m glad they decided to go with a really tall pine tree this year, instead what they usually do.
* Pity the poor sucker who has to sweep up all those needles when they take it down December 26th.

THE BUZZ

OPRAH’S FAVORITE THINGS, 2022

The 2022 “Oprah’s Favorite Things People Have Paid Me To Put In This Catalogue” is out. Here are just some of the items:
– Ray-Ban Stories Wayfarer Smart Glasses – they take a picture of what you’re looking at! But mostly pictures of the sky when you have them sitting on top of your head. Just $329
– Girlfriend Collective Compressive Pocket Leggings – stretch tights with pockets, to make you even lumpier than you are. $70
– Theragun Mini Vibrating Massager – soothes sore muscles from “working out.” Uh huh. And it’s small enough to take with you on-the-go! $179
– Snif Old Saint Wick Scented Candle, $103. You know it smells good, because it’s $103.
– Dr. Barbara Sturm Cleanser. We’re not sure if her name is Barbara Sturm, or if her name is Dr. Barbara and it cleanses your sturm. It costs $75.
– Reuseable Makeup Remover Pads, $16. Once again: Reuseable. Makeup. Remover. Pads.
– Revolution InstaGLO R270 Touchscreen Toaster – an extreme heat source with an electronic touchscreen! Just $399
– Stone Hollow Movie Night Trio Popcorn Gift Box – a jar of popcorn, a small bottle of rosemary oil, and a little tube of sea salt. $75
– Laurel & Ash Farm Limited-Edition Bottle of Maple Syrup: $65. Goes great with $80 pancakes.
– Live 12-inch Frantoio Olive Tree In A Container. $87 Actual olives to arrive 8-10 years later.
* Remember all those things that were Oprah’s favorites last year: FORGET IT! You’re old news. Oprah likes these things now.
* The best part is, her whole Favorite Things website is “presented by Amazon,” so she gets even a little MORE money when you click on the Amazon link! Oprah’s diabolical enough to be a Bond villain.
* I wouldn’t even buy this junk with Monopoly money.
* Alright, GOOP: Top THIS. Ball’s in your court. And it’s a lovely designer ball, scented with tamarind and comes in its own sandalwood box whose lid doubles as a charcuterie board.

U.S. NEWS

WOMAN ARRESTED FOR FLASHING TRICK OR TREATERS

An Edgewater, Maryland woman was arrested Monday after police say she screamed obscenities and exposed herself to children trick-or-treating on Halloween night. Officers found 45-year-old Wendee Kaczorek exposing herself and screaming while handing out candy, police said. They arrested her in her driveway without incident. She faces charges of indecent exposure and disorderly conduct.
* She was showing off her Mounds.
* Everyone could see her Whatchamacallit.
* Although she had a bit of a Jellybelly. And she was Chunky. What you might call Good and Plenty.
* There were a lot of Snickers from the kids. And Chuckles.
* This was Halloween. Imagine her on New Year’s Eve!

SAME NEW JERSEY 7-ELEVEN ROBBED TWICE IN ONE DAY

A South Jersey 7-Eleven store was robbed twice, just hours apart, last Friday. It happened in Moorestown. The first robbery happened around 3:45 a.m. A man pulled a handgun from his pocket and “pointed it directly” at the store clerk. The cashier gave him $40. Later that evening, around 9:15 p.m., another man threw a brick at a cashier, which struck her in the shoulder. He then jumped over the counter and grabbed $37 in cash from the register. The two robberies are not believed to have been connected.
* Was last Friday The Purge and I missed it?
* Just $77 in one day? How do they stay in business?
* Maybe they should check the cashier’s pockets.
* $40, $37… that doesn’t even pay for gas to drive to and from the robbery.
* They’d get a lot more stealing the catalytic converters from the cars in the parking lot.
* I bet that first clerk saw the gun and let out a big gulp.

CURSED FLORIDA MAN DRIVES CAR WITH ONLY TWO TIRES

Police in Marion Oaks, Florida pulled over a car on Interstate 75 last week around 4 a.m. after noticing the vehicle’s hazard lights were on and that the car only had two tires. The tires on the left side of the car were missing, and the car was driving on what remained of the rims, according to the police report. The driver, Andres Orjuela-Montealegre, 29, told the deputy, “Somebody put a curse on me. That is paranormal activity.” Also, he said that he had hit a curb too hard. He said he was given a “do or die” choice in which he could either drive home without tires or set the car on fire and sleep on the median. Then he told the deputy, “I’m going to … skin you alive.” A bit of a struggle ensued and he was ultimately arrested for… well, you name it, he was arrested for it.
* Drive on two tires, or burn your car. That gypsy was just messing with him, with that curse.
* How hard do you have to hit a curb for two sets of lug nuts to spin off and two wheels to go flying?
* He wanted to skin the deputy alive? Well, there goes his ride home.
* It’s paranormal, alright. This guy doesn’t have a ghost of a chance of getting off.

PARAGLIDER RESCUES WOMAN FROM ALLIGATOR

A Florida paraglider swooped in to help rescue a woman clinging to the roof of her submerged vehicle in a canal — as an alligator swam nearby. Cristiano Piquet, a Miami real estate agent, was flying his motorized glider above the waterway near Homestead, Florida on Sunday morning when he noticed the alligator. As he turned to get a video of the gator, he saw a car under the water, with a woman on top. A video from his GoPro camera show him landing in a nearby field and running over to the woman. He went and got help from a nearby resident, who used a rope to pull the woman to safety. She was treated for injuries that were not life-threatening. Mr. Piquet credits skipping church for helping save the woman’s life. “For some reason, I was better suited being there at the right place and the right time. God cares about her life because he put me in that moment, that perfect moment, on that day.”
* Just like He put that lady in the alligator water.
* One way or another, it was help from above.
* What a super man!
* Then the murder hornets attacked.
* In the movie version of this, he swoops in on his parasail, firing a machine gun at the alligator, picks up the woman with his feet and deposits her safely on the land. Then Ironman congratulates him, patting him on the back.
* Do one more good deed: Give the woman a gift certificate for some driving lessons.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CHINESE MAN WINS LOTTERY, KEEPS IT FROM HIS FAMILY

A Chinese man who recently won $30 million says he’s keeping his big win secret from his wife and kid because he doesn’t want them to get lazy. The man, who only wanted to be known as “Mr. Li,” collected his winnings on October 24 alone and dressed in a costume, which is a common practice among Chinese lotto winners trying to conceal their identity from the public. He said, “I didn’t tell my wife and child for fear that they would be too complacent and would not work or work hard in the future.” He walked away with 171 million yuan ($23,600,000) after taxes. He donated 5 million yuan ($688,000) to charity, but is undecided on what to do with the rest of his prize.
* I could take it off his hands.
* For one, he could stop buying the cheap ice cream, go with Tillamook or Ben & Jerry’s. But then there’d be too many questions from his family.
* He could hide it the rest of his life, and then throw himself a real nice funeral. That would show everybody.
* Did he give any reason why his wife and kid should work hard? ‘Cause there isn’t one.
* His good luck in winning the lottery is perfectly balanced out by his wife and kid’s bad luck in having him as their husband and father.

IKEA THREATENS TO SUE VIDEO GAME OVER SIMILARITY

IKEA has threatened to sue the maker of a horror video game over virtual locations that it says too closely resemble the iconic look of the furniture store. The store has issued a cease-and-desist order against game designer Jacob Shaw and his game “The Store Is Closed,” due for release in 2024. The challenge is set in a furniture store called “STYR,” a Swedish word meaning “controls,” where the store has a blue exterior and yellow logo, just like IKEA. In the game, players wander through a maze-like store violently fighting dangerous things using makeshift weapons and forts. Shaw says he will comply with the demands and make changes because he would “really rather not get sued.”
* The revised game will be set in an Arby’s.
* He figured IKEA’s lawyers would take him apart in court.
* How violent is this furniture store? Are Allen wrenches used as weapons? Do characters get their fingers pinched unfolding a chair?
* “Look out, he’s got little meatballs!!!”
* In the game, you die from fighting. In the actual IKEA, you die from exhaustion trying to find the exit.

TRENDING

TAYLOR SWIFT: TOUR WILL INCLUDE COUNTRY HITS

Taylor Swift revealed her next tour, called the “Eras Tour,” will reflect her whole musical journey. As part of that, Taylor will be singing a few of her early country hits like “Our Song” or Love Story.” The tour launches on March 18. Tickets go on sale Nov. 18, and good luck with that.

DIERKS BENTLY, JIMMY ALLEN TO COMPETE IN PICKLEBALL TOURNAMENT

Country music stars Dierks Bentley and Jimmie Allen will be participating in a two-hour Pickleball tournament, a comedy special, slated to air on Thursday, November 17. The tournament will be hosted by Stephen Colbert and include appearances from 16 notable celebrities: Jimmie Allen, Dierks Bentley, Murray Bartlett, Jaime Camil, Will Ferrell, Max Greenfield, Luis Guzman, Phil Keoghan, Daniel Dae Kim, Sugar Ray Leonard, Tig Notaro, June Diane Raphael, Kelly Rowland, Paul Scheer, Aisha Tyler, and Emma Watson.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Nov. 6, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Ends, turn clocks back 1 hour
Nov. 11, Friday – Veterans Day
Nov. 24, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Wednesday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:48 p.m. EST
Dec. 25, Sunday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Saturday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Sunday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Nelly (rapper, real name Cornell Haynes, Jr.) … 48
Marisol Nichols (actress, “Riverdale”) … 51
David Schwimmer (actor, “Friends”) … 56
k.d. (Kathryn Dawn) lang (singer) … 61
Stephanie Powers (actress, “Hart to Hart”) … 80

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’ve purposely steered clear of relying on a trend, because my whole career has been sidestepping any sort of inevitability of getting caught in a rut and having to produce the same sort of records over and over.”

(A) Taylor Swift
(B) Justin Bieber
(C) k. d. lang

ANSWER: (C) k. d. lang

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2016 – The Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years, defeating the Cleveland Indians, 8-7, in game 7.
* Okay, fellas, you can relax until 2124.

2010 – Californians rejected a ballot measure that would have made their state the first to legalize marijuana for recreational use.
* Thanks to heavy lobbying by the booze industry.

2000 – The first crew arrived at the International Space Station.
* And immediately started fighting over the top bunks.

1994 – Astronomers in Holland discovered a new galaxy, 10 million light years away from Earth. They named it Dwingeloo 1.
* And you thought the names you heard on “Star Trek” were ridiculous.

1993 – The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob Packwood’s diaries in a sexual harassment probe.
* Unfortunately, many of the pages were stuck together.

1990 – Ivana Trump filed for divorce from millionaire husband Donald Trump. She claimed he’d been unfaithful.
* After she caught him kissing and cuddling his money one evening.

1990 – A Cornell University graduate student unleashed the first major computer virus in the country’s on-line system, clogging thousands of computers around the nation.
* This, of course, prompted graduates of other major schools to try much harder.

1959 – In a scandal that eventually made its way through the TV game show industry, “Twenty-One” contestant Charles Van Doren confessed that his winning streak was fixed.
* And I’ve heard the stars on “Hollywood Squares” were fed funny comeback lines.

1922 – Quantas, the Australian airline, launched their first flight.
* To make the Aussies feel at home on the long trip, every passenger was given their own handcuffs.

1920 – The first commercial radio station went on the air, KDKA, Pittsburgh, PA.
* Strangely enough, their format was Classic Rock.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Taylor Swift was the highest-paid woman in music, according to Forbes’ annual list, having earned more than double her nearest competitor Adele. The 26-year-old pop star had amassed earnings of $170m over the past year, mainly thanks to the world tour named after her “1989” album.

2015 – Adele went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Hello,” the lead track from her third album “25.” “Hello” became the first song to sell more than a million digital copies in a single week.

2007 – Led Zeppelin’s eagerly-awaited reunion concert in London was postponed for two weeks after guitarist Jimmy Page broke a finger.

2007 – Ozzy Osbourne was scheduled to play a gig in North Dakota. Police used the concert as a pretext for sending out over 500 invitations – to a fake party supposedly to be attended by Ozzy – to criminal suspects with outstanding arrest warrants. Over 30 showed up and were nabbed. Ozzy, who had no part in the sting operation, said it tarnished his reputation, and it was “insulting” that his name had been used.

2002 – Armed police arrested an international gang who were planning to kidnap former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham and her two young children.

1985 – Stevie Wonder went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Part-time Lover,” his 9th U.S. No.1.

1985 – The TV soundtrack from Miami Vice went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart. It spent a total of 11 weeks at No.1.

1984 – The Rev. Marvin Gaye Sr. was sentenced to five years in prison for the manslaughter of his son, Marvin Gaye.

1979 – Mick and Bianca Jagger were divorced.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 12% of people have done THIS in a parking lot. What is it?
Hit somebody’s car and NOT left a note

2. A recent survey asked people the most annoying thing passengers do when riding in the car with us. 5% said THIS. What is it?
Taking their shoes off

3. A survey of car-related mishaps involving hot weather found that 52% of people have experienced THIS. What is it?
Melted candy or chocolate in their car

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