WEDNESDAY, Mar 30 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, March 30, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: WILL SMITH: THE SLAPPER; A & M AUTOLAND – April Fools; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

I AM IN CONTROL DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“On March 30, 1981, President Ronald Reagan was wounded in an assassination attempt. Lots of confusion prevailed. In the White House, then Secretary of State Alexander Haig was taken a little out of context when he said “I am in control here.” Instead of focusing upon the entire statement, people and the press focused upon these few words. Political uproar eventually led to his resignation. On that infamous day, I Am In Control Day was born. History sometimes fades with time. Alexander Haig’s statement was all but forgotten. Meanwhile, this special day continued on, and evolved. People came to think about this day in a different context. They personalized it into a day to get their life in control. In that sense, today is definitely a call to action. ‘I Am In Control Day’ is your chance to get things in order and under control.”

NATIONAL DOCTORS’ DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Doctors’ Day was created to show appreciation to your doctors. Doctors perform vital diagnosis, treatment and care for yourself and your family. When you are well, your doctor keeps you well. When you are sick, there is no other person more important to you than your doctor. We suggest you tell your doctor(s) that you appreciate all that they do for you and your health. If you don’t see your doctor today, make a note to thank him or her at your next appointment. You can also send them an Ecard. Doctors’ Day observances date back to March 30, 1933. It was started by Eudora Brown Almond of Winder, Ga. The day marks the anniversary of the first use of general anesthesia in surgery. The first National Doctors’ Day was celebrated in 1991. On March 30, 1958, the United States House of Representatives adopted a resolution commemorating Doctors’ Day. In 1990, the congress and the senate approved legislation establishing National Doctors’ Day. The resolution designating March 30 as National Doctors’ Day was signed by President George Bush.”

TAKE A WALK IN THE PARK DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Don’t miss out on Take a Walk in the Park Day. It is an opportunity for exercise and relaxation. Are you stressed out? A walk in the park is just what the doctor ordered. Its calming and therapeutic. Taken after a busy work day, it helps clear your mind and re-energize you. Or, take the walk during lunch and you will find the afternoon of work goes by quicker and easier. A walk in the park will likely be the most enjoyable part of your day. However, make sure to do so with a clear mind and with your eyes open. In addition to avoiding a fall, open eyes will allow you to take in the beauty of nature’s wonders: flowers, and trees, birds, and wildlife. Tip: We suggest you take a walk in the park with a friend or your partner. It will prove far more enjoyable if you have company on your walk.”

TURKEY NECK SOUP DAY – Yumm!

March is:

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
National Craft Month
National Frozen Food Month
National Professional Social Worker’s Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

RANDOM STORIES FROM THE WILL SMITH / CHRIS ROCK INCIDENT

It’s been three days since the face of Chris “Ukraine” Rock was invaded by Will “Putin” Smith. Smith has apologized. What more can be said? Obviously plenty, because, celebrities being celebrities, they have to make it all about themselves. Here are some random stories from people capitalizing on the incident:
– Jim Carrey told Gayle King on the CBS Morning show: “I was sickened. I was sickened by the standing ovation. Hollywood is just spineless en masse and it really felt like this is a really clear indication that we aren’t the cool club anymore.”
* Uhhh… Jim? Looked at your box office receipts lately?

– Tonight Show bandleader Questlove says he only became aware of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock after the fact because he was meditating ahead of the announcement of the best documentary winner.
* We needed to know that.

– Ricky Gervais posted a scene from his U.K. version of The Office with an alopecia joke. In the clip, his David Brent character tells a group of stunned employees that things are bad for one of the other characters: “Particularly for his wife. And she’s got alopecia. So … not a happy home life.”
* Hi-larious.

– Michael Che Instagrammed: “Look I’m not tryna make fun of Hollywood. I’m just saying, I’m frankly disappointed that the academy would just let Will Smith PHYSICALLY ATTACK a man, onstage, just because he didn’t like a joke!”
* Thoughtful, thoughtful words, and an angle on the story no one’s ever thought of.

– Bob Hiltermann, a deaf actor who’s appeared in movies such as “Children of a Lesser God” and TV shows including “Hawaii Five-O,”says, “I was looking at the news for information about ‘CODA’ and all I saw everywhere was the slap. Will Smith apologized to the Academy but he should have apologized to ‘CODA’ for drawing away so much attention. He stole the spotlight that should have been present on people who worked on ‘CODA.’”
* By the way, the name of that film is…oh, hold on, I had it here a moment ago… oh – “CODA.”

– A Virginia defense lawyer tried a “Will Smith defense” at his client’s murder trial on Tuesday. Attorney Dirk Padgett told jurors during closing arguments that William Reno Ray, who was on trial on two counts of first-degree murder, simply “snapped.” Padgett maintained his 25-year-old client lost his cool when he stabbed Eric Surface, 44, more than 20 times and killed him, then drowned 42-year-old April Barnicoat in her own bathtub. Padgett told jurors, “Things you wouldn’t ordinarily do you do — like Will Smith. I bet Will Smith wishes he could take it back. But he can’t. You can’t unbreak a stick.” It didn’t work. The jury convicted Ray on both counts in two hours.
* 20 stab wounds and a drowning. Yeah, “lost his cool” doesn’t quite CUT IT.

– Dolly Parton released a statemen – no, no. Dolly’s PR team did NOT manage to get her name in the news AGAIN in connection with The Slap. Egregious oversight on their part.

DISNEY OFFERS “THE BOOZY BUNNY” FOR EASTER

Disney is coming out with a limited-time treat for grown-ups – the “Boozy Bunny.” It’s available only at Disney World in Florida, at The Ganachery chocolate shop in Disney Springs. It’s a six-inch chocolate bunny, hollow on the inside, filled with chocolate drink and topped off with bourbon. There’s a hole in the back of the bunny for a straw, so you can suck out the innards, before you start chewing on the bunny’s eyes.
* The Boozy Bunny. It’s about time Disney finally slipped you a Mickey.
* Do they have them in your room in the Minnie bar?
* Drink enough of them, they make you feel goofy.
* Get a six-pack – those lines for the rides are LONG.
* They should do one that looks like Pluto, call it the Hootchy Pooch.
* Boozy candy. Seems more like something Willie Wonka would do.
* It’s a chocolate bunny, but if you let it melt it looks like Pooh. Winnie-the-Pooh, I mean. Get your mind out of the gutter.

ALEC BALDWIN AND WIFE EXPECTING BABY #7

Alec and Hilaria Baldwin announced yesterday that she is pregnant their seventh child together. Hilaria wrote, “We have an exciting up and a huge surprise: another Baldwinito is coming this fall. We were pretty sure our family was complete, and we’re beyond happy with this surprise.” Hilaria, a former yoga instructor, 38, and Baldwin, 63, are already parents to daughters Carmen Gabriela, 8, and María Lucía Victoria, 13 months, and sons Rafael Thomas, 6, Leonardo Ángel Charles, 5, Romeo Alejandro David, 3, and Eduardo “Edu” Pau Lucas, 18 months. Alec is also a father to daughter Ireland, 26, whom he shares with ex-wife Kim Basinger.
* It’s nice to have a hobby.
* Normally I’d make a joke here about these celebrities, but I’m afraid Will Smith will slap me.
* How ’bout if they mix it up this time and go for a regular name, like Johnny or Linda?
* Good lord, she’s shootin’ them out like— er, we’ll just stop that joke right there.
* I guess being an actor and having to memorize all those lines helps him remember the names of all those kids.

THE BUZZ

FIVE-DAY SCHOOL WEEK IS BETTER THAN A FOUR-DAY SCHOOL WEEK

Sorry, kids… A recent study by a team at Oregon State University finds that a four-day school week just isn’t enough time to indoctrin– er, educate you. Study authors found that high schoolers participating in a four-day school week performed worse on a series of standardized math tests than their those sticking to a typical five-day schedule. However, the length of the week only seemed to impact math grades. Students in both four-day and five-day week groups displayed roughly the same reading scores.
* Let me get this straight: the less time you spend educating children, the less educated they’re going to be? Got it.
* There were no bribes from parents involved? Parents who’d rather not have their kids hanging around for three-day weekends?
* It’s not like the kids are going to notice, because the four-day-a-week kids can’t count to five anyway.
* How does the 4- versus 5-day week affect, say, gym class grades?

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

UKRAINE SAILOR WHO TOLD RUSSIAN WARSHIP TO “GO F— YOURSELF” AWARDED MEDAL

The Ukrainian sailor who told a Russian warship to “go f–- yourself” as he defended Snake Island was awarded a government medal. In a video posted by Ukraine on Tuesday. hero seaman Roman Hrybov received the award “For Merits to Cherkasy Region” (* Also known as the “Congressional Medal of Badass”) from the Regional Governor. In the first days of the Russian invasion, when a Russian naval craft ordered Hrybov and his comrades to surrender, the brave sailor reportedly replied by radio, “Russian warship, go f– yourself.” The reply prompted the ship to bombard the island. Hrybov and the other Snake Island defenders were initially declared dead, until it became clear they’d been captured by Russian forces. His retort became a rallying cry in the early days of the Ukrainian resistance. The captured Ukrainian sailors were freed last week in a prisoner swap. In an interview with a Ukrainian news outlet, Hrybov’s mother, Tatiana Hrybov, said her son had never bowed to anyone. “By the way, I have never in my life heard my son swear,” she added.
* So he didn’t get it from you. Okay, if you say so.
* Medal, hell, give that man a new truck, or put his face on a postage stamp or something.
* “Remember the Alamo,” “I have not yet begun to fight,” “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, ” “Today is a good day to die.” All of those are great, but nothing like “Go f— yourself.” It’s a battle cry that loses absolutely nothing in the translation.
* Of course, he’ll never have to pay for another drink in any Ukrainian bar, so that’s nice, too.

SPACE HOTEL IN THE WORKS

The world’s first space hotel is getting ready to open its doors in 2027. Well, it would be if it actually existed. Plans for the cruise ship-style hotel kicked off around three years ago, and it’s apparently still in the works. The project is coming from the Gateway Foundation, and has been named Voyager Station. The hotel would float above the Earth’s atmosphere. It will look like a giant wagon wheel, with 24 rooms along the circumference of the wheel, and it would slowly spin to create artificial gravity. Yes, just like in the movie “2001: A Space Odyssey.” The company says they’re going to have a number of different recreation activities and games that’ll highlight the fact that you’re able to do things that you can’t do on Earth. Like what? They say: “Because of the weightlessness and the reduced gravity, you’ll be able to jump higher, be able to lift things, be able to run in ways that you can’t on Earth.”
* Well THAT’LL be fun, for, like, a minute.
* In space, no one can hear you scream about the rattling air conditioner.
* Three years away. Right. You’ll see the next “Game of Thrones” book by George R.R. Martin before this thing takes off.
* We can all use our flying cars to get there!
* Yeah, yeah. And two weeks ago, Elon Musk said he’d have people on Mars in seven years. Anybody else want to make a space announcement? We’ve got a few minutes before the next song.

TRENDING

TAYLOR SWIFT TO GET HONORARY DOCTORATE

Taylor Swift will address New York University graduates at the school’s Commencement on Wednesday, May 18, at Yankee Stadium. The school will award Taylor an honorary Doctor of Fine Arts degree. The reason? All of her awards: 11 Grammy Awards; Grammy Award for Album of the Year three times; Most awarded artist in American Music Awards’ history; BRIT Awards International Female Solo Artist of the Year in 2015 and the Global Icon Award in 2021; Billboard’s only two-time winner of the Woman of the Decade Award; and, she’s the only solo artist this century to have three No. 1 albums in one year.

KELSEA BALLERINI IS NOW FACE OF COVER GIRL

Kelsea Ballerini is now a face of CoverGirl cosmetics. Ballerini said in an Instagram post: “Being a @covergirl has been on my bucket list since I was a little girl. (* Uh huh.) From playing with makeup in middle school to getting ready for some of the biggest stages I’ve been lucky enough to perform on. It’s a full-circle moment and I’m so happy to officially join the CG family.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 1, Friday – April Fools Day
April 17, Sunday – Easter
April 15, Friday – U.S. Tax Day
May 8, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 30, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Thomas Rhett (country singer) … 31
Justin Moore (country singer) … 38
Fiona Gubelmann (actress, “The Good Doctor”) … 42
Norah Jones (pianist and vocalist) … 43
Celine Dion (singer, “My Heart Will Go On”) … 54
Ian Zierling (actor, “Sharknado” movies, “Beverly Hills 90210”) … 58
MC Hammer (Stanley Kirk Burrell, former rapper, televangelist) … 60
Paul Reiser (comedian/actor, “Stranger Things,” “Mad About You”) … 66
Robbie Coltrane (actor, comedian, Hagrid in Harry Potter films) … 72
Eric Clapton (guitar legend) … 77
Warren Beatty (actor) … 85
John Astin (actor, TV’s Gomez Addams) … 92

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“People have always told me I look young for my age … and I think it’s because I’ve always taken care of myself.”

(A) Keith Richards
(B) Queen Elizabeth
(C) Ian Ziering

ANSWER: (C) Ian Ziering

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – Virginia, Maryland, Arizona and Florida issued lockdowns, bringing a total of three out of four Americans under orders to stay home due.
2020 – The Russian city of Moscow began a city-wide lockdown after giving the public 4 hours notice.

1999 – A jury in Portland, Oregon ordered Philip Morris to pay $81 million to the family of a man who died of lung cancer after smoking Marlboros for four decades.
* Sure, it’s a lot of money, but do you know how hard it is to get that cigarette smell out of the carpets?

1867 – The US bought Alaska from Russia in a $7.2 million deal, before oil was discovered there.
* HAH-hah!

1858 – Hyman Lipan patented the first pencil with a rubber eraser on the end.
* Other people thought of it earlier but didn’t want to admit they made so many mistakes they needed an eraser.

1842 – An anesthetic was used in an operation for the first time.
* Finally the patients in the waiting room could read the magazines without all that screaming.

1822 – Florida became a U.S. territory.
* And then later it became a Disney territory.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2017 – Ed Sheeran was at No.1 on the US album chart with his third studio album “÷” (pronounced ‘divide’). The album also topped the charts in 14 other countries and won the Grammy Award for Best Pop Vocal Album.

2013 – Music producer and pioneer of digital recording, Phil Ramone, died at age 79. Ramone was regarded as one of the most successful producers in history, winning 14 Grammy awards and working with stars such as Ray Charles, Bob Dylan, Elton John and Paul McCartney. He produced the first major commercial release on CD, Billy Joel’s 1982 album 52nd Street. Ramone had been hospitalized for several weeks, being treated for an aortic aneurysm.

2001 – LeAnn Rimes reached an out of court settlement with her father and her former manager. The country star filed a lawsuit claiming the pair had stolen $12 million from her.

2000 – Rolling Stone Mick Jagger made a nostalgic visit to his old school. He opened the new arts center that had been named after him at Dartford Grammar. The singer said he had spent the worst years of his life at the school.

1992 – Navy veteran Vincent Williams, who was in the forces with MC Hammer, took the rapper to court, claiming that a loan of $5,000 years earlier entitled him to a percentage of Hammer’s earnings.

1991 – Gloria Estefan started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Coming Out Of The Dark.”

1985 – Phil Collins started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “One More Night,” his second U.S. No.1.

1976 – Punk pioneers The Sex Pistols played their first gig at the 100 Club in London, before an audience of 50 people.

1974 – John Denver went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Sunshine On My Shoulders,” the singer’s first of four U.S. No.1’s.

1967 – The cover picture of The Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper” album was photographed.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a recent study, the average household has 6 of THESE. What are they?
Refrigerator magnets

2. On average, THIS item in your home is two years old. What is it?
Salad dressing

3. 77% of people in a recent survey said they have one of THESE but they have never used it. What is it?
A flashlight

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