WEDNESDAY, Feb 14 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, February 14, 2024
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Valentine’s Day

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

LIBRARY LOVERS DAY

NATIONAL CREME-FILLED CHOCOLATES DAY

NATIONAL FERRIS WHEEL DAY

NATIONAL ORGAN DONOR DAY

RACE RELATIONS DAY

VALENTINE’S DAY

February is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
African American History Month
Celebration of Chocolate Month
International Boost Self Esteem Month
International Friendship Month
National Bird Feeding Month
National Snack Food Month
National Sweet Potato Month
Spunky Old Broads Month
Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

BASEBALL PLAYERS HATE NEW UNIFORMS

MLB players are beginning to report for Spring Training and they all hate the new uniforms from Nike. St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Miles Mikolas says they don’t fit right; pants are no longer as customized, and the fabric is a very different consistency. “They look cheap,” another player said. Too bad. MLB has declared that all 30 teams will use the Nike Vapor Premier uniforms for their home, road, alternate and City Connect uniforms this season. Nike describes the material as “breathable, lightweight, high-performance fabric that was made from at least 90% recycled polyester.”
* So THIS is where those recycled water bottles go.
* The other 10%? Cardboard.
* No one wants to miss a pop fly because they were adjusting the crotch of their pants.
* They would have sprung for the more expensive uniforms but, come on, these are the Baseball Owners we’re talking about.
* Remember the poor players when you go to the next game, as you’re buying your $8 hot dog and $12 beer.

THE BUZZ

VALENTINE’S DAY QUIZ

Here’s a Valentine’s Day quiz we found on the FoxNews website last year. Let’s see if you’re up on your Valentine’s Day knowledge:
1. Lovebirds are an actual bird – True or False? (True)
2. Which flower is the most popular to give on Valentine’s Day: Tulip/Rose/Daisy/Sunflower? (Roses)
3. Candy hearts were originally medical lozenges – True or False? (True)
4. Valentine’s Day is florists’ busiest day of the year – True or False? (True)
5. The first official Valentine’s Day celebration was held in which city: New York/Paris/New Orleans/Rome? (Paris)
6. The abbreviation XOXO originally meant what: Hugs & Kisses/Holding Hands/Sealed With A Kiss/Sent With Love? (Sealed with a kiss)
7. Which is the most popular gift for Valentine’s Day: Flowers/Chocolate/Jewelry/Wine? (Jewelry)
8. Who created the first heart-shaped box of chocolates in 1861: Richard Cadbury/Fanny Farmer/Walt Whitman/Milton Hershey? (Richard Cadbury)
9. Valentine’s Day is the second busiest restaurant day after what other day: Thanksgiving/New Year’s Eve/Easter/Mother’s Day? (Mother’s Day)

AVOID THE VALENTINE’S DAY WHOOPEE

An L.A. sex therapist is advising couples that it may be in their best interest to “create a pause” on whoopee on the so-called most romantic day of the year. Sex therapist Laura Berman says, “I had so many couples coming to me after Valentine’s Day so disappointed in themselves, in their relationship and in their partner that they didn’t have this Earth-shattering, sensual and romantic experience. They’re thinking their relationship is doomed, and it creates all this pressure. There’s this expectation that this day you have to have sex … I don’t like putting pressure on any one day because it creates so many expectations and performance anxiety.” She suggests doing something thoughtful and fun in lieu of “some idealized romantic extravaganza.” Even going on a simple walk or playing a fun tabletop game can go a long way, she says.
* Good advice, although remember guys, you gotta do the flowers or you’re a dead man.
* My wife and I always hit the batting cages on Valentine’s Day.
* A “fun tabletop game.” Where somebody wins, and somebody loses. Always good for a relationship teetering on the edge.
* And no, she doesn’t mean “Strip down and climb up on the table.”
* Sex without performance anxiety. Doesn’t the Apple Vision Pro have an app for this?
* For Pete’s sake, just hurry up with the sex robots, would you please?

U.S. NEWS

AMERICANS LOSING BILLIONS TO “ROMANCE SCAMS”

The banking industry is calling on the federal government and social media companies to combat the surge in online romance scams. These scams, which are costing Americans billions annually, are run by organized crime groups, often from Southeast Asia, who create fake social media profiles to lure male and female victims across all age groups and education levels. Scammers engage in prolonged daily texting to build a seemingly genuine relationship and establish a psychological hold. They then manipulate the conversation towards financial gain, suggesting lucrative investments or asking the victim for money for fabricated emergencies such as medical procedures – and scammers will often coach the victim on how to access and transfer funds. In 2022, it’s estimated that romance scams led to losses of $30 to $50 billion, with actual figures potentially higher due to under-reporting from ashamed victims.
* That’s very nearly how expensive an actual romantic relationship can be.
* Boy, is Southeast Asia getting their payback from the U.S. or what?
* 30 billion dollar scam? Boy, I got off easy.
* Remember the old-timey scams with a fake Nigerian prince needing money to escape the country? Those were the days.
* The worst part? These billions of dollars in losses are seriously cutting into online gambling revenues.

WOMAN SWINGS SWORD AT COP

In Leesburg, Virginia, a woman is behind bars for allegedly swinging a sword at a police officer. Last Thursday, officers went to serve 35-year-old Alexandra Hopkins a warrant. Hopkins greeted the officers with a sword that had a blade that was over a foot long. Hopkins swung the sword at one of the officers and ran out of the residence. Cops caught up with her, took her into custody, and confiscated her sword. She’s facing one count of assault on law enforcement, and two counts of brandishing a weapon.
* And three counts of not knowing which century it is.
* 35 years old. So she’s stuck in the middle ages.
* Come to think of it, this would be a perfect case for bringing back stocks in the town square.
* Cop: “I picked the wrong day to stop wearing my suit of armor.”
* Was it really a foot long? Was it as long as a Subway sandwich? Could you have used it to cut a Subway sandwich?

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

DEAD WOMAN WAKES UP AT THE FUNERAL PYRE

An Indian woman who was thought to be dead woke up moments before she was about to be cremated. Bujji Aamma, 52, from Berhampur, India, was severely burned in a fire in her home on February 1. She was treated at a hospital and she returned home where she remained in a bad state. A few days later she didn’t open her eyes, and her husband believed she was dead. He arranged for her to be taken to the cremation ground in a hearse. A woman at the cremation saw Mrs. Aamma open her eyes and was a bit shocked. The driver of the hearse was called back to collect her, living and breathing, and she was taken home in the same hearse.
* Not so much a delivery as a nice little tour of the city.
* She may not have been cremated, but she was still pretty burned up about it.
* “Bujji! How was your day?” “Not so hot – luckily!”
* Question: On the way home, did she ride in the back, or did she ride shotgun up front?
* The hearse driver dropped her off and said, “Do you want my card?” and the husband said, “Naw, I got you on speed dial.”

TRENDING

TAYLOR SWIFT WAS ASKED TO NOT BE IN KANSAS CITY VICTORY PARADE

Ahead of the Chiefs’ Super Bowl victory parade on Wednesday, the City Manager of Kansas City said that he already told Taylor Swift’s representatives that the city is not equipped to handle the extra traffic Swift’s attendance may bring should she choose to be alongside boyfriend Travis Kelce. He said that not having her there would “keep everybody safe and make things a little bit easier for us.” The event is scheduled for 11 a.m. Wednesday.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TODAY – Valentine’s Day
February 19, Monday – Presidents Day / Washington’s Birthday
March 10, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Sunday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 19, Tuesday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 11:06 p.m. EDT
March 20, Wednesday – First full day of Spring

BIRTHDAYS

Freddie Highmore (actor, “The Good Doctor”, “Bates Motel”) … 32
Danai Gurira (actress, “Black Panther”) … 46
Rob Thomas (musician with Matchbox 20 and Santana) … 52
Simon Pegg (actor, “Mission: Impossible” and “Star Trek” movies) … 54
Teller (silent comedian-magician with Penn and Teller, born Raymond Joseph Teller) … 76

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m not a sad person, upset the whole time, but I seem to be quite emotional.”

(A) Eminem
(B) Joker
(C) Freddie Highmore

ANSWER: (C) Freddie Highmore

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – The TV game show “Jeopardy!” began airing the first of three episodes pitting human players Brad Rutter and Ken Jennings against an IBM computer named “Watson.” Watson received the first place prize of $1 million.
* The weird part? He blew it on booze and broads.

2003 – “Dolly” the sheep – the first mammal cloned from an adult – was put to death at age 6 after premature aging and disease marred her short existence.
* So we’re still a bit away from cloning Scarlett Johansson.

1990 – Space probe Voyager 1 took a photograph of the entire solar system.
* I HATE that picture. I look fat and my eyes are closed.

1989 – Iran’s Ayatollah Khomeni ordered the execution of British author Salman Rushdie, after the publication of his book, “The Satanic Verses.”
* So he didn’t like the book, then?

1971 – President Richard Nixon installed a secret taping system in the White House.
* Smart move.

1962 – President John Kennedy’s wife conducted the first televised tour of The White House.
* “And in this room is … oh, why is this door locked? And what IS that noise?”

1929 – The infamous “Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre” took place in Chicago when seven members of Bugs Moran’s gang were shot by the Al Capone gang.
* You could feel the love in the room.

1899 – The U.S. Congress began using voting machines.
* Aren’t you glad we have modern voting booths and not those primitive, unreliable ones?

1876 – Alexander Graham Bell and Elisha Gray applied separately to patent the telephone. The Supreme Court eventually ruled Bell was the rightful inventor.
* Elisha Gray spent the rest of his life making late-night crank calls to Bell.

1848 – James K. Polk became the first president photographed in office.
* 150 years later Bill Clinton would be the first president pornographed in office.

1803 – Moses Coats of Downingtown, Pennsylvania patented the apple parer.
* Just goes to show how much productive work you can get done when you don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day.

1477 – The earliest recorded Valentine card was sent in Norfolk, England.
* So the person getting it must have had no idea what it was.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Adele was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with her third studio album “25.” The album was a massive commercial success, debuting at No.1 in more than 25 markets and broke first-week sales records in multiple countries.

2005 – A 1965 Fender Stratocaster guitar belonging to Jimi Hendrix sold for $166,000 at an auction in London. Other Hendrix items sold included a poem written two weeks after his appearance at the Monterey Festival which went for $16,000 and the first Jimi Hendrix Experience’s single “Hey Joe,” signed by all the band sold for $3,300.

2004 – Dave Holland, former drummer with Judas Priest, was jailed for eight years for indecent assault and the attempted rape of a 17-year old boy. The youth, who had learning difficulties, had been taking drum lessons from Holland.

2003 – Stolen reel-to-reel studio recordings by The Beatles were found in Australia. Police recovered the tapes of the bands 1968 “White Album” and the “Abbey Road” album after they were advertised for sale in a Sydney newspaper. Australian police had been tipped off by British detectives from Operation Acetone, an investigation into thefts of original Beatles music from Abbey Road studios in London in the 1960’s.

1999 – U.S. rapper Foxy Brown was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Chyna Doll.”

1998 – Usher started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Nice & Slow.”

1998 – Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” set a new recorded for the most radio plays in the U.S. with 116 million plays in one week.

1992 – The film “Waynes World,” with a brief cameo appearance from Meat Loaf, premiered in the U.S.

1990 – The Rolling Stones played the first of ten nights at the Korakuen Dome, Tokyo, Japan. The shows were seen by over 500,000 fans, making the band $20 million.

1987 – Bon Jovi started a four-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Livin’ On A Prayer,” the group’s second U.S. No.1.

1984 – Elton John married recording engineer Renate Blauer in Sydney, Australia. The couple divorced three years later.

1978 – Dire Straits began recording their first album at Basing Street Studios, London. The whole project cost $21,250 to produce.

1977 – U.S. singer, songwriter Janis Ian received 461 Valentine’s day cards after indicating in the lyrics of her song “At Seventeen” she had never received any.

1973 – David Bowie was knocked unconscious and carried offstage after an excited fan rushed the stage at Radio City Music Hall, knocking him down. Bowie was performing “Rock and Roll Suicide,” the final song of the show.

1972 – John Lennon and Yoko Ono started a week-long run as co-hosts on the “Mike Douglas” TV show.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. The average American spends about $120 a year on THIS. What is it?
Valentine’s Day gifts

2. About nine million Americans will do THIS on Valentine’s Day. What is it?
Give a gift to a pet

3. 15% of women surveyed said they have done THIS on Valentine’s Day. What is it?
Sent flowers to themselves

(c) 2024
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111