WEDNESDAY, Dec 18 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, December 18, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Week Before Christmas

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing – including “holidays” created by the National Day Calendar and Wellcat websites to drive traffic to their websites – or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BAKE COOKIES DAY

NATIONAL SUCKLING PIG DAY (Don’t tell PETA!)

December is:

Exotic/Tropical Fruits Month
National Egg Nog Month
National Fruit Cake Month
National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
National Write a Business Plan Month
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
Tomato Month
Winter Squash Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

25 FILMS ADDED TO NATIONAL FILM REGISTRY

Twenty-five films have been selected for the Library of Congress National Film Registry in 2024 due to their cultural, historic or aesthetic importance to preserve the nation’s film heritage. Here they are, in chronological order:
– Annabelle Serpentine Dance (1895)
– KoKo’s Earth Control (1928)
– Angels with Dirty Faces (1938)
– Pride of the Yankees (1942)
– Invaders from Mars (1953)
– The Miracle Worker (1962)
– The Chelsea Girls (1966)
– Ganja and Hess (1973)
– Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
– Uptown Saturday Night (1974)
– Zora Lathan Student Films (1975-76)
– Up in Smoke (1978)
– Will (1981)
– Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan (1982)
– Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
– Dirty Dancing (1987)
– Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt (1989)
– Powwow Highway (1989)
– My Own Private Idaho (1991)
– American Me (1992)
– Mi Familia (1995)
– Compensation (1999)
– Spy Kids (2001)
– No Country for Old Men (2007)
– The Social Network (2010)
* With the billion dollars they spent on promotion, I expected to see “Wicked” on this list.
* Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but no “Saw” movies?
* Also added to the National Film Registry this year – Milk Duds, the ideal candy for classic film watching.
* Beverly Hills Cop? Dirty Dancing? Spy Kids? I think they’ve run out of great movies, like the Oscars.
* If you’re gonna pick a Star Trek movie, it might as well be the one good one.

THE BUZZ

HORRIBLE BOSSES OF 2024

Here is a collection of Horrible Boss stories from 2024:
– “Boss asked us to “please react to messages with the emojis that match our skin tone so he can see at a glance who reacted.”
– “Texted my supervisor, ‘It’s been two weeks, any update on the status of my raise?’ He texted back a picture of a beach and the ocean he was vacationing at.”
– “Boss told me to keep the restaurant open in minus-40 degree windchill temperature. I texted him, ‘If I get locked out doing trash I am dead.’ Boss wrote back, ‘If you get locked out, the police station is across the street, run to there. You are a full grown man, I have the utmost faith that you will be able to handle the cold. If you close early and we get a complaint, you will be terminated.'”
– “My boss randomly pulls the power plug on the office refrigerator to save energy.”
– “I work in a warehouse where it’s hot. Boss decided that water would no longer be free, we either have to bring it ourselves or buy it from a vending machine.”
– “I work at a small coffee shop. Boss absent-mindedly poured unroasted beans into a batch of roasted beans. He had us separate 10,000 beans by hand.”
– “Boss waited for me to arrive to work to tell me we were overstaffed and to go home.”
– “My boss takes out his trash by dropping it in my trash can so I have to take it out.”
– “My boss admitted to taking money from my tips to cover the till that was short.”
– “My boss wouldn’t let me go out to the parking lot and turn off my headlights even though you can see they’re on from the window.”
– “Boss just showed up in his new Cybertruck and told us he can’t make payroll this week.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Horrible boss stories.

U.S. NEWS

BEAR FALLS OUT OF TREE, KILLS HUNTER

A Virginia man died after being hit by a bear that fell from a tree during a hunting trip. Lester Harvey Jr., 58, was standing under the bear that had been chased up the tree by a group of hunters. As the hunters retreated from the area, one of them shot the animal, causing it to fall on Mr. Harvey. Emergency responders transported him to a hospital in serious but stable condition, but he later succumbed to his injuries.
* Succumbed? He was bearly injured!
* Even Dick Cheney was impressed.
* The guy that shot the bear WHILE IT WAS UP A TREE should be banned for life from the Hunters Guild.
* He’s hoping to one day shoot a tiger while it’s in its cage.
* I thought drop bears were an Australian thing.

STUCK NASA ASTRONAUTS NOW STUCK EVEN LONGER

NASA’s two stuck astronauts are going to be stuck in space even longer. NASA announced the latest delay in Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams’ homecoming on Tuesday. The two were only supposed to be up there for a week in June, but then NASA didn’t trust their Boeing-made Starliner capsule to bring them home. Go figure. Then, they were supposed to come home this February, when a replacement crew was scheduled to go up to the station. But now that mission has been delayed for two months because Elon Musk’s SpaceX capsule isn’t ready to go. (* He’s been a little busy lately.) Now the pair won’t return until late March or maybe April.
* I think NASA is just hoping we all forget about them, like shopping malls and Nickelback.
* An extra month or two of food in a tube. Yumm!
* Is NASA sending the bill for their overtime to Boeing?
* The truth is, there’s only room for one on that capsule and NASA is waiting to see which is the last astronaut standing. Or floating, rather.
* I think it’s now just an experiment to see how long that lady astronaut’s hair grows in space. It’s now like a hedge.

A.I. USED TO CREATE NEW SNACKS

Mondelez, the snack conglomerate that has ruined – I mean, “owns” – everything from Chips Ahoy to Oreos to Ritz crackers, says it has been using AI to quickly generate ideas for new snacks. The AI tool creates recipes by specifying desired characteristics, including flavor (“buttery,” “in-mouth saltiness,” or “vanilla intensity,” for instance), aroma (like “oily,” “egg flavor,” “burnt”) and appearance (like “amount of chips,” “roundness,” “chip edges”). The AI is trained so that it doesn’t stray too far from what consumers might expect. Mondelez claims that whereas it previously developed new recipes through simple trial-and-error, having AI come up with recipes has allowed new products to reach production trials 4-5 times faster.
* Oh, and half the algorithm is programmed to find the cheapest ingredients and calculate the biggest markup.
* Although the AI is still having trouble understanding the difference between things people love and food people love. So far, it’s come up with pudding that smells like magic marker.
* This is great ’cause I was just watching a football game the other day, wishing I had an oily, burnt, egg-flavor snack.
* Get ready for New Car Stink Oreos.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

JET MAKES UNPLANNED LANDING OVER UNBEARABLE PIG STENCH

A KLM flight from Amsterdam to Mexico had to make an unplanned landing in Bermuda last Friday because of a horrible smell caused by 100 pigs in the plane’s cargo hold. The captain said that live pigs in the cargo hold were emitting such a bad odor that the plane would need to make an unplanned stop for a break of fresh air. They touched down in Bermuda, and passengers and crew were put up in hotels for the night. The 100 pigs were transported to a ‘safe location’ on the island. The plane returned to the air on Saturday after a 30-hour delay. But the pigs remained in Bermuda until Sunday night, when an empty cargo plane arrived to transport them to Mexico City.
* The airline said the swine arrived in good condition. And so did the pigs.
* Heck, why not just release the oxygen masks?
* I bet everybody’s vacation clothes smelled great after all that time in the cargo hold with the pigs.
* I don’t know what’s in store for the pigs, but a trip to Bermuda was a nice bucket list surprise.

TRENDING

TOM CRUISE GETS AWARD FROM U.S. NAVY FOR MAKING NAVY MOVIES

Tom Cruise was awarded the Distinguished Public Service Award, the U.S. Navy’s top civilian honor on Tuesday for “outstanding contributions to the Navy and the Marine Corps.” The award was in recognition of his “Top Gun” movies and other films that made military service look good and inspired enlistment. Cruise was given the award by U.S. Secretary of the Navy Carlos Del Toro in a ceremony in London, England, for some reason, at Longcross Movie Studios near London where Cruise is currently working. The 62-year-old actor said he was proud to receive the “extraordinary acknowledgement,” which came with a medal and a certificate.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Saturday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:21 a.m. (EST)
Dec. 25, Wednesday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Tuesday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Wednesday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Billie Eilish (singer) … 23
Ashley Benson (actress, “Pretty Little Liars”) … 35
Christina Aguilera (singer) … 44
Katie Holmes (actress) … 46
Brad Pitt (actor) … 61
Steven Spielberg (film director and producer) … 78
Keith Richards (guitarist with The Rolling Stones) … 81

Today’s Birthdays grade: Are you kidding? Look at these names! A-plus!

[Want to try something different with the daily birthdays? Try grading them! Some days have “good” celebs, some have “great” celebs, some have “lousy” celebs. For fun, give the group an arbitrary grade: A-plus through F-minus. Sidekick will give you our take on it; you can to take the concept and run with it.]

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police.”

(A) Snoop Dogg
(B) Willie Nelson
(C) Keith Richards

ANSWER: (C) Keith Richards

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – The last US troops were withdrawn from Iraq, formally ending the Iraq War.
* Well, that should be the last time there’s any trouble over there, then.

2009 – Reality TV stars Jon and Kate Gosselin, parents of eight children, divorced.
* Reality bites!

1997 – Comedian Chris Farley was found dead in his Chicago apartment at age 33.
* What a tragedy. David Spade hasn’t made a decent movie since.

1996 – American TV executives agreed to adopt a ratings system.
* Notice how much cleaner and nicer TV is now?

1979 – The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time by Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph.
* And yes, he DID deliver the pizza in less than 30 minutes.

1957 – The Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania became the first nuclear power plant to generate electricity.
* The residents glowed with pride.

1936 – The first giant panda arrived in America.
* Followed quickly by the first giant panda T-shirts.

1928 – MGM filmed their famous lion-roaring opening sequence.
* And the lion became a millionaire from the royalties.

1865 – Slavery in the United States was abolished by ratification of the 13th Amendment.
* Oh yeah? Somebody tell my boss.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – A U.S. medical examiner said Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott Weiland died from a toxic mix of drugs including cocaine, alcohol and ecstasy. Weiland, 48, was found dead on his tour bus outside a hotel in Bloomington, Minneapolis, on December 3rd.

2004 – A guitar played by George Harrison and John Lennon sold for $570,000 at auction in New York.

2003 – Out on bail, Michael Jackson was formally charged with seven counts of child molestation and two counts of administering intoxicating liquor to a minor with the intent of committing a crime. The abuse was claimed to have taken place between 7 February and 10 March 2003 and the alleged victim was identified only as “John Doe.”

2000 – Bruce Springsteen played the second in a pair of benefit shows at New Jersey’s Asbury Park Convention Hall.

1997 – Leading feminist activists including Gloria Steinem, C. Delores Tucker and Eleanor Smeal gathered in front of the Time Warner building in New York’s Rockefeller Plaza to protest the Prodigy song “Smack My Bitch Up.”

1983 – Rolling Stones’ guitarist Keith Richards married 27-year old Patti Hansen on his 40th birthday.

1975 – The Faces split up, with singer Rod Stewart pursuing his solo career.

1971 – Jerry Lee Lewis divorced his cousin Myra Gale Brown. They married in 1957 when she was 13 years old.

1965 – U.S. Army Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler recorded “Ballad of the Green Berets.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. A recent study revealed that on average, one of THESE lasts about 22 minutes. What is it?
An argument

2. If you’re an average person, you’ll do THIS for 9 hours and 20 minutes today, even though experts say it significantly increases your chances of an early death. What is it?
Sitting

3. The average person wastes 6 minutes a day doing THIS. What is it?
Using hesitant speech (um, er, etc.)

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