WEDNESDAY, Apr 17 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, April 17, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Beat It

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

FORD MUSTANG DAY
The Ford Mustang was officially unveiled by Henry Ford II at the World’s Fair in Flushing Meadows, New York, on April 17, 1964. That same day, the new car also debuted in Ford showrooms across America and almost 22,000 Mustangs were immediately snapped up by buyers.

NATIONAL CHEESEBALL DAY

NATIONAL HAIKU POETRY DAY
ChatGPT says:
“A day for haiku,
Syllables dancing with joy,
Nature sings along.”

April is:

Adopt a Greyhound Month
Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

TRAVIS KELCE TO HOST “ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A CELEBRITY”

Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, also know as Mr. Taylor Swift, has signed on to host the game show “Are You Smarter Than a Celebrity?” for Prime Video. His deal with Prime Video is to host 20 episodes of “Are You Smarter Than a Celebrity?” which is a reboot of the old Fox series “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” There is no premier date announced yet.
* There’s no celebrity smarter than Travis Kelce. He hitched his wagon to Taylor Swift.
* So it’s a panel of celebrities. Are the contestants going to be 5th graders?
* I would posit that any celebrity at a level where they are appearing on a game show, is not the smartest celebrity.
* How is smartness even still a thing? Seriously? You want to know something, you Google it. Or ask one of the 17 AI apps out there.

SESAME STREET WRITERS HEADING FOR A STRIKE

The writers for Sesame Street have unanimously voted to authorize the Writers Guild of America to order a strike if the children’s television production company does not reach a deal with the union by Friday. The writers say they are looking for a fair contract that allows the Sesame Workshop to continue to attract top-level talent who can “artfully create stories that successfully balance entertainment, playfulness and joy with education and enrichment.” If the sides can’t reach a deal by April 19, picketing will begin outside Sesame Workshop’s Manhattan headquarters next week.
* Picket Me Elmo.
* How hard is it to write for Sesame Street? I mean, come on: “E.” “K.” “7.” There’s next Tuesday’s show right there.
* They presented an offer to the writers; the writers responded by flipping them the big bird.
* Oh, please. Show reruns from 7 years ago. The original viewers are grown up – who’s gonna notice?
* The guy in the back of the Snuffleupagus costume is also looking for career advancement, to move to the front of the costume.
* This story has been brought to you by the letter “L.” No, wait – they revised it. It’s now brought to you by the Dollar Sign.

NATIONAL RECORDING REGISTRY 2024

More than 2 dozen performers have been announced as this year’s additions to the Library of Congress’ National Recording Registry. These have been selected based on their cultural, historical, or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage:
– “Clarinet Marmalade,” Lt. James Reese Europe’s 369th US Infantry Band (1919)
– “Kauhavan Polkka,” Viola Turpeinen and John Rosendahl (1928)
– Wisconsin Folksong Collection (1937-1946)
– “Rose Room,” Benny Goodman Sextet with Charlie Christian (1939)
– “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” Gene Autry (1949)
– “Tennessee Waltz,” Patti Page (1950)
– “Rocket ’88,'” Jackie Brenston and His Delta Cats (1951)
– “Catch a Falling Star”/”Magic Moments,” Perry Como (1957)
– “Chances Are,” Johnny Mathis (1957)
– The Sidewinder, Lee Morgan (1964)
– Surrealistic Pillow, Jefferson Airplane (1967)
– “Ain’t No Sunshine,” Bill Withers (1971)
– This is a Recording, Lily Tomlin (1971)
– JD Crowe & the New South, JD Crowe & the New South (1975)
– Arrival, ABBA (1976)
– “El Cantante,” Hector Lavoe (1978)
– The Cars, The Cars (1978)
– Parallel Lines, Blondie (1978)
– “La-Di-Da-Di,” Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick (MC Ricky D) (1985)
– “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” Bobby McFerrin (1988)
– “Amor Eterno,” Juan Gabriel (1990)
– Pieces of Africa, Kronos Quartet (1992)
– Dookie, Green Day (1994)
– Ready to Die, The Notorious BIG (1994)
– Wide Open Spaces, The Chicks (1998)
* And yet the number of people who’ve heard the Baby Shark song blow all these out of the water.
* You’re a young kid. You make a punk album. You name it Dookie, after what you and your friends call poo poo. And you eventually find it in the Library of Congress. Extraordinary work, Green Day!
* Don’t step in the dookie from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
* If “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” got in, can the Pina Colada Song be far behind?

THE BUZZ

WHEN WOMEN TRY TO DECIPHER MEN’S TEXTS: HERMENEUTICS

Ellie Anderson, an assistant professor of philosophy at Pomona College in Claremont, California, started thinking about all the time she and her friends had wasted poring over conversations and texts they’d received from men they’d dated. They talked about the stress and confusion of trying to figure out what a man actually meant by what he said. They worried about responding – coming on too strong, not strong enough, wondering if the guy would call back, wondering why he ignored them for a day… This forces women to spend a lot of time trying to guess at men’s feelings because the men themselves were unwilling or unable to fully express themselves. So Anderson coined the phrase “hermeneutic labor” to describe the emotional work that goes into trying to decipher men’s confusing communication. Hermeneutics is the study of the interpretation of language.
* The men were unwilling or unable to fully express themselves? Have these women never heard of sodium pentothal?
* Sure, they can’t figure out what we mean, but we’re not allowed to mansplain it to them.
* God knows we need another dating word because ‘submarining’ or ‘breadcrumbing’ or ‘soft launch’ or or ‘kittenfishing’ or ‘rizz’ isn’t enough. So, yeah, ‘hermeneutics.’ Catchy.
* We have a word for when women spend too much time deciphering men’s responses. That word is ‘desperate.’
* Ladies, if texts from your guy drive you crazy because they’re stupid and undecipherable… that’s called ‘marriage.’

U.S. NEWS

MAN TRIES ROBBING GAS STATION WITH A SNAKE

In Memphis, Tennessee, police arrested a man Monday after he attempted to rob a gas station with a live snake. Reginald Cook, 26, walked into a Shell station, made a purchase, and left. Later, Cook came back with a live, 5-foot snake wrapped around his neck. He shouted at the cashier, “Give me the money.” The cashier called 911 and pulled out his own firearm. No money was taken and no one was injured. Police took Cook into custody, and also took possession of the snake. The store owner said Mr. Cook’s family came by the store Tuesday to apologize. They also offered to pay for any damages.
* “Look out! It’s loaded – with venom!”
* They also said the snake had fallen in love with the air hose.
* The owner asked if he could have the snake, the gas station has mice.
* Yeah, in Dumb Robbery Rock Paper Scissors, Firearm beats Snake every time.

MAN FACES 7 YEARS IN JAIL OVER A PUMPKIN DONUT

A New York man faces 7 years in prison over a donut tantrum. Antonio Rosario, 35, was intoxicated when he walked into a Williamsburg Dunkin’ Donuts back on Oct. 12, 2022 and asked for six pumpkin spice donuts. The store only had five, but they told him they would make more. He began screaming at the clerks, then left briefly, then came back with what looked like a gun in his pants and screamed some more about getting six pumpkin donuts. Police were called and found Rosario with a loaded gun. They also found that he was a convicted felon who has served time, was still on parole, and possessing a firearm as a felon is a federal offense. Last week, Rosario pleaded guilty and is slated to be sentenced in July, where he faces seven years in prison.
* He faces a charge of Felony Hangry.
* I don’t approve, but I understand. There but for the grace of a donut go I.
* Why did he have to have six? I seriously doubt he had 5 friends at home waiting for him to come back with donuts.
* Like they say in Dune, the pumpkin spice must flow.
* If only his response hadn’t been so spicy.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

AXE BODY SPRAY USED TO CALM FIGHTING SHEEP

British shepherds have discovered that spraying Axe deodorant, which is called Lynx over there, gets male sheep to calm down and stop ramming each other. A shepherdess named Sam Bryce Bryce has regularly used a spray of the smell on Cash and Casper, two testosterone-addled 4-year-old rams. The pair have lived together since they were five months old but are prone to fight following any period of separation. The strong odor of Axe confuses the sheep, so they’re not smelling each other’s scent and getting, uh, rambunctious.
* Plus, they can’t breathe, so they pretty much just lay down.
* Axe on sheep? Get the flock outta here!
* How is this not cruelty to animals?
* Believe it or not, Axe does NOT make the sheep smell better.
* If they run out of Axe, they could just rub a 14-year-old hormonal teen boy on the sheep.

UK ELECTS THE EARTHWORM AS INVERTEBRATE OF THE YEAR

The UK’s Guardian newspaper ran a contest to name the Invertebrate of the Year. The winner: the worm, by a landslide. The earthworm took 38% of the popular vote. Why the worm? Earthworms can bring 40 tons of soil to the surface a year in Britain (* In what, three centuries?). Worms make soils less prone to flooding in winter and less hard in summer, they boost microbial activity and are vital in supporting plant growth, including the crops that feed us. Plus, kids, you can cut ’em in half and it makes two worms! If, for any reason, the worm is unable to fulfill its official duties, the crown will be taken over by the contest runner-up which was the bumblebee with 15% of the vote; the third place lightning bug received 9% of the vote.
* Better luck next year, Prince Andrew.
* For the talent portion of the contest, the earthworm caught a fish. Unfortunately, it then had to withdraw from the contest.
* To be fair, earthworms aren’t 100% wonderful. For example, when they take the last of the coffee, they never make a fresh pot.
* Who won Miss Congeniality, the praying mantis?
* This story brought to you by Wrigley’s.

TRENDING

PAMELA ANDERSON JOINS “NAKED GUN” REBOOT WITH LIAM NEESON

Pamela Anderson has signed on to star opposite Liam Neeson in the upcoming reboot of Naked Gun, based on the crime spoof comedies that were released in the late 1980s and early 1990s starring Leslie Nielsen. Neeson is playing Detective Frank Drebin. Anderson will be the love interest, akin to the role played in the original by Priscilla Presley.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

Rooney Mara (actress, “Carol,” “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”) … 39
Victoria Beckham (UK singer, was Posh Spice) … 50
Jennifer Garner (actress) … 52
Liz Phair (singer, songwriter, guitarist) … 57
David Bradley (actor, “After Life,” “Game of Thrones,” “Harry Potter”) … 82

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Beauty comes from a life well lived. If you’ve lived well, your smile lines are in the right places, and your frown lines aren’t too bad, what more do you need?”

(A) Clint Eastwood
(B) Tommy Lee Jones
(C) Jennifer Garner

ANSWER: (C) Jennifer Garner

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – “Game of Thrones,” based on the fantasy novels by George R. R. Martin, premiered on HBO.
* “Game of Thrones” was our house growing up. Six people, two bathrooms.

2001 – Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants hit his 500th career home run, becoming the 17th major leaguer to reach the mark.
* He was like a hitting machine on steroids! Or maybe not. We’ll never know.

1964 – The Ford Mustang was formally introduced.
* Followed quickly by the first formal diagnosis of mid-life crisis.

1961 – The U.S. tried to overthrow Fidel Castro’s government in Cuba as about 1,500 CIA-trained Cuban exiles launched the disastrous Bay of Pigs invasion.
* It took us awhile to get the hang of overthrowing governments, and now we can do it in about six weeks.

1937 – Cartoon characters Daffy Duck & Elmer J. Fudd debuted.
* Those were the good old days, when speech impediments were funny.

1875 – Snooker, a variation of pool, was invented by Sir Neville Chamberlain.
* Rumor has it he invented snooker when he was snockered, and everyone snickered.

1524 – Giovanni Verrazano, a Florentine navigator, discovered New York Bay.
* A Florentine navigator? So – he was baked with spinach and cheese?

1492 – Christopher Columbus signed a contract with Spain to find a westward ocean route to Asia.
* And as we know, totally screwed it up.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2004 – Kurt Cobain’s Mark IV-style Mosrite Gospel guitar sold for $100,000 at the Icons of 20th Century Music auction held in Dallas, Texas.

1998 – Linda McCartney, the rock photographer wife of Sir Paul McCartney and onetime member of the band Wings, died of breast cancer in Santa Barbara, Calif. She was 56. Linda, a vegetarian who marketed her own line of meat-free dishes, had been battling the disease for three years.

1993 – David Lee Roth was arrested in NYC for purchasing marijuana for $10.

1984 – Michael Jackson burned his hair while filming a Pepsi commercial.

1970 – Johnny Cash performed at the White House. President Richard Nixon requested “A Boy Named Sue.”

1952 – Elvis Presley was fired from his job as a theater usher.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Just under 25% of people surveyed admit that they have taken THIS from a restaurant. What is it?
Toilet paper

2. In a recent survey, 5% of people said that when they go out to eat, it bothers them when THIS happens. What is it?
When they order something at a restaurant, and someone else they’re with orders the same thing

3. 40% of people surveyed say they have never done THIS in a restaurant. What is it?
Eaten alone

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