VALENTINE’S DAY: NAME A (BLANK) AFTER YOUR EX, FEED IT TO A (BLANK)

It seems like zoos everywhere – well, three, at least – are getting into the name-a-critter-after-your-ex business:
– The Wildlife Images Rehabilitation Center in Oregon said patrons can pay to have a dead salmon named after an ex-lover, and the salmon will then be served to brown bears Kodi and Yaki. Wildlife Images said the $20 package includes a special certificate and photos of the bears eating the salmon.
– The El Paso, Texas, Zoo will let you name your ex after a cockroach, and they’ll even feed it to a meerkat.
– The Wild Life Sydney Zoo in Australia launched a Valentine’s Day contest to name a brown snake, one of the most venomous species in the world, in honor of the winner’s ex-partner. (* We posted this one last week)
– The Hemsley Conservation Center in Sevenoaks, England, is raising funds by allowing members of the public to pay $2 to name cockroaches after their former lovers.
* This Valentine’s Day thing is starting to not turn out the way Hallmark intended.
* Have zoos been noticing their customers are cold and bitter?
* If you’re a vegan, can you name a banana after your ex and feed it to a monkey?
* If you’re really angry, can you pay the zoo 100 bucks to toss your ex into the bear cage?
* I know what you’re thinking: “Me and my sweetie will never end up like this.” Guess what. These people thought so, too.
* Just curious – who goes to a zoo to see cockroaches?