TWO WOMEN WILL NAME YOUR BABY IF YOU PAY THEM MONEY

A start-up company called Future Perfect is offering a unique service. They will help you name your baby. Future Perfect, founded by two moms who met on a playground and bonded over their children’s unique names, is offering packages starting at $100 to help new parents choose what to call their children.
– The $100 “The Riff” package includes a 15-minute “namestorming” session via phone.
– For $350 “The Works” package features a 15-minute consultation that leads to a list of 10 suggested first names and 10 suggested middle names for the baby.
According to the company’s webpage, “Unlike the subjective opinions friends and family members might give you, our advice will be neutral, unbiased, and tailored to your needs.”
* Money well spent. Right, Abner?
* And go check on your sister, Vidalia.
* Anybody else think they give every single customer the same list of names?
* If they suggest the name “Junior”, I’d demand my money back.
* If only there was some kind of, I don’t know, worldwide web of information that would store lists of every baby name ever invented.
* For $5, they’ll dump a box of Scrabble letters on the floor and send you a picture of it.
* For $350, they should come change my baby.