TUESDAY, Jan 21 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, January 21, 2025
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TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing – including “holidays” created by the National Day Calendar and Wellcat websites to drive traffic to their websites – or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL GRANOLA BAR DAY

NATIONAL HUGGING DAY
* Warning! Avoid #MeTwo misunderstandings! Make sure your hug is CONSENSUAL! In fact, you might want to get a sworn statement from the hugee declaring the hug is permitted before proceeding!

NEW ENGLAND CLAM CHOWDER DAY

SQUIRREL APPRECIATION DAY

January is:

Adopt a Rescued Bird Month
Be Kind to Food Servers Month
Family Fit Lifestyle Month
Financial Wellness Month
Get Organized Month
National Candy Month
National Clean Up Your Computer Month
National Hobby Month
National Skating Month
National Train Your Dog Month
Walk Your Pet Month

THE BUZZI DON’T GET IT

Reddit asked, “What is something that, no matter how simply put, you still cannot understand?” Some of he responses:
– “Electricity. I don’t understand how it actually works.”
– “Bitcoin.”
– “Magnets.”
– “The vastness of space. I can’t get my head around it.”
– “How 0s and 1s can turn into music.”
– “Negative fractions.”
– “Sewing machines. And I worked for a seamstress for many, many years. No matter how often she explained it, I came away with the same feeling… witchcraft, plain and simple.”
– “Sailing against the wind. And I do have a PhD in physics.”
– “Why evolution couldn’t provide us longer arms to reach that itch in the middle of your back.”
– “Chess. I am a reasonably intelligent human being and I have had dozens of people from all walks of life try to teach me, but it doesn’t stick. As soon as I start playing, it doesn’t make sense anymore.”
– “The fact that cold does not exist, only heat and a lack of heat.”
– “The ending of ‘The Prestige.'”
– “How is it that eyelashes are designed to keep things out of my eyes, but they are the only things that consistently get in my eyes?”
* I’ll never understand why, just when things get interesting, we have to break for a commercial.
* PHONE TOPIC: What thing can you just not understand?

THE BIGGEST BREASTS IN THE WORLD

A new report, published by the World Population Review, analyzed the average bust size of 108 countries around the globe. According to the report, breast size is unique to each woman and is influenced by several factors, including genetics, nutrition and diet, weight and body mass index, fitness level, and age. So, here we go: The Top Ten Countries With The Largest Breasts:
1. Norway (* Used to be you would see a lot of large Norwegian breasts, in the back of a fjord.)
2. United States (* Where you’ll find the Grand Tetons.)
3. United Kingdom (* This is interesting, because Britain is famous for its Flatlands.)
4. Luxembourg
5. Iceland (* Where it’s always nippy.)
6. Russia
7. Colombia (* Somebody’s always bustin’ out of a Colombian prison.)
8. Canada (* Canada, eh? No, Canada double eh.)
9. Poland
10. Venezuela
* I wonder how the rankings would change if you count if they’re real or not?
* Now, that’s just the list for the MEN. We don’t have a list for women yet.

U.S. NEWS

DUI CRASHER ASKS FOR LENIENCY BECAUSE HE’D BEEN DRINKING

In Bainbridge, Ohio, a police officer witnessed a car crash into a fire hydrant near the police station. The officer found a 70-year-old man behind the wheel. The man asked the officer to give him a break because he had been drinking. Police cited him for operating a vehicle while intoxicated and released him into his wife’s custody.
* “No, put me in jail!” he screamed.
* I wonder if that “give me a break because I’ve been drinking” line works any better at home.
* A good lawyer could claim that the fire hydrant was at least 50% responsible.
* That’s like the guy who killed his parents and begged the judge for leniency because he was an orphan.

LAWYER THREATENS WEDDING GUESTS OVER PRIME RIB

In Boca Raton, Florida, a lawyer was arrested for what police called “a violent prime rib incident” during a Saturday night wedding at the Boca Lago Country Club. Lawyer Mark Roher, a wedding guest, allegedly overreacted when a group of young girls allegedly “cut” in front of him in the prime rib serving line during the wedding. Witnesses say Roher became angry and threatening, leading a wedding guest to intervene. Roher then strangled the guest and held a plate over the person’s head, then threatened to kill that person. A country club employee allegedly intervened, took the plate, and called police.
* The bride and groom, at the same time, said, “He’s from your side of the family.”
* He strangled a wedding guest? Threatened to kill them? That takes hangry to a whole new level.
* That employee was a pro. I’m sure this happens at the club all the time, because their prime rib is excellent.
* When you have an open bar, your guests are gonna get a little au juiced.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

WORLD CUP SKI CONTROVERSY: I LOVE WANK

There is a problem with the upcoming Alpine World Cup Ski Championship. The competition is being held this coming Saturday on Mount Wank in southern Germany. Officials are worried the name will offend British visitors. Even though “Wank” is spoken with the ‘w’ pronounced as ‘v’, as in Vahnk, the mountain’s slogan is pasted all over the place: “I Love Wank.” Officials from the International Ski and Snowboard Federation have banned use of the name while the world is watching, calling it inappropriate for an international event.
* Sounds like those officials are really verkin’ themselves into a tizzy.
* Banning the word “Wank”? Can they pull that off?
* It’s kinda backfired, ’caused the officials who don’t want anybody saying “Wank” are being called jerks.
* I imagine a lot of tourists will be walking around trying to find the Super-G spot, where the race will be held.
* They’re lucky the competition isn’t being held on the next mountain over, Mount Bangen.
* There hasn’t been a British controversy like this since “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.”

HUMAN VS. ROBOT MARATHON

China will be hosting the world’s first man vs. robot half-marathon in April. 12,000 human runners will run against dozens of two-legged robots from 20 different tech firms in Beijing. The race will mark the first time that humanoid robots will compete in the entire marathon from start to finish. The competitors will run a a 21 kilometer (13 mile) route through the city. The rules for the robots:
– The machines must be humanoid, meaning they bear a strong resemblance to human beings.
– They must be able to perform bi-pedal (two-footed) walking or running. No wheels.
– The bots must also be between 0.5 and 2 meters tall.
– Both remote-controlled and fully automatic humanoids are eligible to race, and batteries can be replaced mid-dash.
* When no one’s looking, the human runners should grab the robots and turn them around so they’re pointed back to the starting line.
* This is our first chance to learn how fast we have to be to outrun them when they go all Skynet on us.
* Seriously: any robot that places in the top five should be destroyed, if we know what’s good for us. And we don’t.
* Every mile there’ll be humans passing out Gatorade to the runners, and Roombas passing out cans of WD-40 to the bots.
* One group that’s not thrilled about where this is heading: mail carriers.

THE LONELY SUNFISH

In southern Japan, the Kaikyokan Aquarium in Shimonoseki was closed for renovation a few weeks ago, in December 2024. Not long after, their prize giant sunfish began acting oddly. It stopped eating and began to rub its body against the tank. Staff thought it had developed digestive issues. But then one of the staff members suggested, “Maybe it’s lonely because it misses the visitors?” Workers attached some uniforms to the glass of the tank. The next day, the sunfish’s behavior returned to normal. Since then, the staff has taped clothing to the glass and added cardboard cutout faces so it looks like a crowd around the tank. Also, the live staff has started waving at the sunfish.
* With all the attention, the sunfish thinks it’s a starfish.
* A fish with an ego the size of Hokkaido.
* As long as they don’t hang cutouts of people holding knives and forks.
* Buying a second sunfish for company is too much to ask?

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

January 27, Monday – Int’l Holocaust Remembrance Day (UN)
January 29, Wednesday – Chinese New Year (The Year of the Wood Snake)
February 2, Sunday – Groundhog Day
February 12, Wednesday – Lincoln’s Birthday
February 14, Friday – Valentine’s Day
February 17, Monday – Presidents Day / Washington’s Birthday
March 9, Tuesday – Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras
March 9, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Begins
March 17, Monday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 20, Thursday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 5:01 a.m. EDT

BIRTHDAYS

Luke Grimes (actor, “Yellowstone,” “Fifty Shades” films) … 41
Emma Bunton (singer, “Baby Spice” of the Spice Girls) … 49
Ken Leung (actor, “The Blacklist,” “Marvel’s Inhumans,” “The Night Shift”) … 55
Charlotte Ross (actress, “Arrow,” “Glee”) … 57
Geena Davis (actress) … 69
Jack Nicklaus (retired pro golfer) … 85

Today’s Birthdays grade: Geena Davis shines in some touchstone films – A League of Their Own, Thelma & Louise, The Accidental Tourist, Beetlejuice, The Fly. Luke Grimes starred in a show that took over America during Covid. The other birthdays are okay – no losers. Grade: B-minus.

[Want to try something different with the daily birthdays? Try grading them! Some days have “good” celebs, some have “great” celebs, some have “lousy” celebs. For fun, give the group an arbitrary grade: A-plus through F-minus. Sidekick will give you our take on it; you can to take the concept and run with it.]

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“God, my life is weird.”

(A) Kanye West
(B) Miley Cyrus
(C) Geena Davis

ANSWER: (C) Geena Davis

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2010 – A bitterly divided Supreme Court, in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, vastly increased the power of big business and labor unions to influence government decisions by freeing them to spend their millions directly to sway elections for president and Congress.
* They always did it, but now they can do it OPENLY.

2004 – The recording industry sued 532 computer users it said were illegally distributing songs over the Internet.
* And THAT put an end to THAT.

1994 – Lorena Bobbitt was acquitted of charges relating to cutting off her husband’s penis, on the grounds of temporary insanity.
* If you were on that jury, would YOU want to get on her bad side?

1954 – The first atomic submarine was launched, America’s “USS Nautilus.”
* ‘Cause it would be FUN to be stuck thousands of feet underwater in a tin can with a NUCLEAR REACTOR.

1865 – In Pennsylvania, an oil well was drilled a new way for the first time – with torpedoes.
* It was a pretty good turn of events for a submarine that was seriously off course.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2022 – Adele postponed her entire Las Vegas residency, just 24 hours before the opening night, due to half of her team having Covid. The shows would have been her first live concerts in five years and Adele was forecast to make more than $600,000 per performance.

2015 – An Israeli man was arrested on suspicion of hacking into the computers of pop stars including Madonna and selling unreleased songs online. During the investigation it appeared the suspect had broken into the computers of a number of international artists, stole unreleased demos and final tracks and sold them over the internet. Adi Lederman, 39, eventually admitted the crime as part of a plea deal with prosecutors, and was sentenced to 14 months in jail and fined $4,000.

2012 – Adele was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with her second studio album “21.” The album yielded five hit singles.

2003 – David Palmer, former keyboard player for Jethro Tull, changed his name to Dee Palmer after a successful sex change operation. Palmer was the keyboard player for Jethro Tull between 1969 and 1980. He played on all the Tull classics including “Thick As A Brick” and “Aqualung.”

1998 – James Brown, 64, was released from a hospital where he had been treated for an addiction to painkillers.

1966 – Beatle George Harrison married Patti Boyd. She would later divorce him and marry Eric Clapton.

1964 – Americans got their first televised look at the Beatles when “Tonight Show” host Jack Parr showed film clips of the Fab Four performing in London.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 40% of married men say their wives do this and they don’t like it. What is it?
Backseat drive

2. About 1 in 3 wives wish their husbands would do this more often. What is it?
Hold their hand

3. A recent poll says 27% of men do this just to make their wife or girlfriend happy. What is it?
Clean the house

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