TUESDAY, Apr 9 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, April 9, 2024
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TODAY IS …(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL FORMER PRISONER OF WAR RECOGNITION DAY

NATIONAL UNICORN DAY

WINSTON CHURCHILL DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Winston Churchill Day celebrates the day he was made an honorary US citizen. On this day in 1963, Winston Churchill became the very first person to become an honorary citizen. He was given this honor posthumously. There have only been 6 people (two are married couples who received it jointly) to be accorded this stature. What does it take to become an honorary US citizen? You have to have made extraordinary accomplishments or contributions in your life. And then a law must be drafted and voted upon by the U.S. Senate. Celebrate today by reading and learning about Winston Churchill, Britain’s Prime Minister during World War II.”

April is:

Adopt a Greyhound Month
Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

THE BUZZTHE WORLD’S MOST PROMISCUOUS COUNTRIES

The perverts over at the World Population Review have come out with a list of the world’s most promiscuous countries. The world’s Sluttiest Country: Turkey. The average Turk has slept with more than 14 people. Here are the Top Ten Most Promiscuous Countries:
1. Turkey (14.5 people)
2. Australia (13.3) (* It’s that accent. It just wins you over, even if you were born with it.)
3. New Zealand (13.2)
4. Iceland (13.0) (* Well, what else do they have to do in Iceland.)
5. South Africa (12.5)
6. Finland (12.4) (* Everybody’s just so damn good looking in these Nordic countries.)
7. Norway (12.1)
8. Italy (11.8)
9. Sweden (11.8)
10. Switzerland (11.1)
– The U.S. and Canada are tied at 13th place, with an average of 10.7 people slept with over the years.
– Countries thought to have more liberal views on sex, such as Brazil and France, were surprisingly low down on the list. The average Brazilian has slept with 9 people, putting the nation in 25th place. France is in the 29th position with 8.1 people. (* I didn’t know there was a 29th position. I can only think of four, maybe five.)
– The least promiscuous countries are China (3.1) and India (3.0).
* But, boy oh boy, do the Chinese and Indians go at it with those few partners.
* So when they say the population has slept with 13 people, is it the same 13 people?
* This would be a lot more helpful if they included each country’s best-working pickup lines.
* These numbers would be a lot higher but a lot of people couldn’t take the survey ’cause they were busy getting their salads tossed.

U.S. NEWS

WOMAN RECEIVES SPEEDING TICKET ON CAR THAT WAS BEING TOWED

A Cleveland woman received a $105 speeding ticket in her mailbox AFTER her van broke down. She wasn’t even driving. The city sent Joann Gibson the photographic evidence: her van, hanging off the back of a tow truck, as the truck drove past a speed camera. The camera had obviously picked up her license plate, but nobody in the system caught that it was the tow truck that was speeding, not her car. Gibson contested the fine with the police, but they told her to refute the fine with the private company that operates the cameras. A local TV news reporter is helping Ms. Gibson fight the ticket.
* And just wait until A.I. takes over all this stuff.
* Seems to me the police could make a case for the car being an accessory.
* Jeeze – you get a tow truck driver who wants to help you get your car fixed as quick as possible, and THIS happens.
* If you haven’t figured this out by now, if you have a problem, the only people that can really help you is a TV news crew.

AUDIO: FAMILY BUYS OCTOPUS AS PET; IT HAS BABIES

An Oklahoma family bought an octopus to raise as a pet, only to learn soon after that it was pregnant. Octodad Cameron Clifford, of Oklahoma City, says, “In case it wasn’t already obvious, octopus are not common pets.” Clifford got an adult California two-spot octopus for his older son in October. Named Terrance when they got it, it turned out to be female and laid eggs in December that started hatching in February. After a female lays her eggs, she stops eating as she watches over her offspring. She eventually wastes away and dies. However, Terrance seems to be thriving. The Cliffords were able to keep 50 hatchlings alive for about a week, but now they are down to around a dozen. Clifford has reached out to every aquarium, biology department and pet store in a 100-mile radius, but each has politely declined to raise the babies. He’s hoping an aquarium will reach out to take them off his hands. Mr. Clifford has been documenting all the octopussery on the TikTok @doctoktopus page, with 3.6 million views. The octopus has a natural lifespan of 12 to 18 months.
* No one has seen this many suckers in one place since the Fyre Festival.
* Unless you really like calimari.
* Raising an octopus is expensive, but look what you save on printer ink.
* From 50 hatchlings to a dozen. Yep, Terrance has definitely not stopped eating.
* Ironically, Mr. Clifford is a small arms dealer by trade.
CLIP: With this story, we introduce a new animal segment song, “Let’s Check In With The Animals.” Hang on to it for all of your animal stories. There’s also a link in the Comedy MP3s column of our website home page.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/LetsCheckInWithTheAnimals(dot)mp3

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

IRISH MAN SHOWS UP TO COURT NAKED

In Dublin, Ireland, a man appeared in court completely nude and refused to wear clothes after his “emotional support” cat went missing when he was arrested during a traffic stop. Mr. Joseph Davis, 51, said he had been driving to the court to drop off some legal papers when the borrowed car he was driving was stopped by police and he was arrested. During the stop, his cat, Oliver, got loose and disappeared. When brought to the courthouse, Mr. Davis refused to wear his clothes and stood before the judge naked. He was given the option of going free on €100 ($108) cash bail, but, as the judge pointed out, “I don’t see his wallet on him today.” The judge asked that Mr. Davis receive immediate medical attention, and asked police to find out what happened to his cat.
* Oh, the cat HATED the name Oliver and is long gone.
* Obviously, there was insufficient evidence.
* Immediate medical attention? For what – sunburn?
* Usually it’s the jury that’s hung, not the defendant.
* I bet things got interesting when the bailiff said, “All rise.”

AUDIO: CHECHNYA BANS MUSIC THAT’S TOO FAST, TOO SLOW

Authorities in the Russian Republic of Chechnya, under bat-guano crazy leader Ramzan Kadyrov, have announced a ban on music that they consider too fast or slow. The Ministery of Culture announced the decision to limit all musical, vocal and choreographic compositions to a tempo ranging from 80 to 116 beats per minute. The edict ensures that Chechen musical and dance creations align with the “Chechen mentality and musical rhythm,” to bring “to the people and to the future of our children the cultural heritage of the Chechen people.” The ban will mean that many songs in musical styles such as pop and techno will be banned.
* And, luckily, polka music.
* And next week, they’s banning F-sharp.
* There goes “Bohemian Rhapsody” in one fell swoop. 75 bpm in the slow part, 150 in the fast part.
* I did the math, and you can still play The Minute Waltz, but you’ve got to slow it down to 2 minutes and 15 seconds.
* Watch out for the Tempo Police. They’re the ones carrying the metronomes.
* This country is setting itself up for a national Footloose revolution.
* They forgot to deal with songs that are too loud or too soft, but maybe I should just shut up.
CLIP: Here are two song clips, Foreigner “I Wanna Know What Love Is” at 80 bpm and The Who’s “Baba O’Reilly” at 116 bpm. (You can google “songs that are ___ bpm” to find something in your format.)
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/ChecnyaMusicBad-Foreigner-TheWho(dot)mp3

TRENDING

MORGAN WALLEN ARRESTED FOR CHAIR-THROWING

Country music star Morgan Wallen was arrested on felony charges Sunday night after he allegedly threw a chair from the roof of a bar in downtown Nashville. Officers were standing in front of Chiefs Bar around 10:50 p.m. on Sunday when they witnessed a chair come from above and hit the street, about three feet away from the two officers. Upon investigation, staff members at the bar told them 30-year-old Morgan Wallen tossed the chair, from six stories above the street. Wallen was charged with reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct.

“THE BEAR” GUY TO STAR IN BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN MOVIE

There’s going to be a Bruce Springsteen movie. “Deliver Me From Nowhere,” the Bruce Springsteen project, has “The Bear” star Jeremy Allen White in talks to star as the Boss. The film will be based on the 2023 book Deliver Me from Nowhere: The Making of Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska by Warren Zanes. The project has the involvement of Springsteen, giving it access to the Boss’ music.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 15, Monday – U.S. Tax Day
May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

Kristen Stewart (actress) … 34
Jordan Masterson (actor, “Last Man Standing”) … 38
Leighton Meester (actress, “Gossip Girl”) … 38
Cynthia Nixon (actress) … 58
Joe Scarborough (talk show host, “Morning Joe”) … 61
Dennis Quaid (actor) … 70

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“It’s okay, you know? It’s okay to be you. It’s okay to just not be okay. It’s okay to not be okay.”

(A) Lindsay Lohan
(B) Charlie Sheen
(C) Kristen Stewart

ANSWER: (C) Kristen Stewart

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2017 – David Dao Duy Anh, a Vietnamese-American pulmonologist, was one of four passengers aboard a United aircraft selected for involuntary removal from the flight to make room for four “deadheading” airline employees who needed to travel on the flight. When Anh refused, O’Hare International Airport Aviation Security Officers forcibly and violently removed him. Twitter footage of the violent removal went viral, resulting in widespread outrage. United CEO Oscar Munoz was denied a previously planned promotion to chairman, and on April 27, Dao reached an “amicable” settlement with United, the terms of which were not publicly announced.
* United’s treatment of customers has gone so downhill since they were bought by the Mafia.

2003 – Iraqis celebrated the collapse of Saddam Hussein’s regime, beheading a toppled statue of their longtime ruler in downtown Baghdad.
* And that’s the last time they worked together to get something done.

1965 – The first game was played at the Houston Astrodome.
* The first BASEBALL game. The first GAME played was probably called “How Much Can We Raise with Municipal Bonds”?

1955 – The McDonalds fast-food chain was founded in Chicago.
* I remember growing up, watching their signs change, 1 million sold, 5 million sold, 10 million sold, thinking: “Daddy, please buy me some stock! Daddy, please buy me some stock!”

1947 – The Atomic Energy Commission was formed.
* A government agency known for its strong nucleus.

1872 – Samuel R. Percy patented dried milk.
* It went great with the dry cookies his wife baked.

1865 – America’s Civil War ended when Confederate General Robert E. Lee surrendered to Yankee General Ulysses S. Grant.
* Thank goodness America is no longer divided into two sides that hate each other.

1833 – The first municipally-supported library was opened in the town of Peterborough, New Hampshire.
* Opening remarks were cut short when the librarian kept saying “Shhh!”

1831 – British Captain Robert Jenkins lost an ear to a band of Spanish brigands, starting a war between Britain and Spain.
* “Goodbye, Mom and Dad. I’m off to die for my country for the sake of Bob Jenkins’ stupid ear!”

1770 – Capt. James Cook discovers Botany Bay. It was the first Western sighting of Australia.
* Wow – What are the odds he’d find a land with the same name as a modern men’s clothing line?

1667 – The first public art exhibition was held in Paris.
* So, they’re not counting those prehistoric cave paintings, then …

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2018 – Fleetwood Mac confirmed they had fired Lindsey Buckingham, citing a disagreement over the band’s upcoming tour, announcing that Mike Campbell of Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers and Neil Finn of Crowded House would replace him. Buckingham would later claim that Stevie Nicks demanded his ouster because she thought he was disrespectful of her and smirked when she gave a thank-you speech at the January 26 MusicCares benefit in New York City.

2007 – Country western singer Tanya Tucker was sued by her manicurist for $300,000 over claims the star’s dog attacked and injured her.

2004 – A man was arrested for allegedly stalking Avril Lavigne. James Speedy, 30, from Seattle, Washington, was arrested after police searched his home. He was later released on $5,000 bail. Mr. Speedy had been under investigation since the previous summer for allegedly sending harassing letters and e-mails to the 19-year-old singer.

1998 – Pop star George Michael was arrested for investigation of engaging in misdemeanor lewd conduct. The arrest was made at Will Rogers Park in Beverly Hills, Calif., after an undercover officer allegedly observed Michael performing a lewd act in a park restroom.

1998 – A Los Angeles Superior Court jury awarded pop star Michael Jackson $2.7 million in damages in his defamation-of-character suit against Victor Gutierrez. On the TV program Hard Copy, Gutierrez claimed to have seen a video of Jackson having sex with a boy.

1973 – Rock group Queen had its debut performance at the Marquee Theater in London.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Doing THIS elevates your heart rate as much as skydiving. What is it?
Going on a blind date

2. 22% of millennials say that they’ve done THIS on a first date. What is it?
Hold hands

3. According to the dating service “It’s Just Lunch,” past relationships and dieting are the top two conversation killers on a date. THIS came in third. What is it?
Politics

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