TUESDAY, Apr 2 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, April 2, 2024
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TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL CHILDREN’S BOOK DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“International Children’s Book Day encourages reading, and promotes the love of books for children. The best and fastest way to develop our young children into intelligent human beings is by teaching them to read. Instilling a love of reading promotes a lifetime of learning and enjoyment. Libraries celebrate today with story telling hours and other events for young children. You can celebrate today by giving a new book to each of your kids. If they are too young to read, spend time reading stories to them. Its a great and memorable bonding time for you and your child.”

NATIONAL PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day celebrates the “PB and J” sandwich. Its the favorite lunchtime sandwich of American kids, and many adults, too. Some kids practically live on Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.”

April is:

Adopt a Greyhound Month
Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

THE BUZZ

APRIL FOOLS DAY PRANKS

A lot of companies get into the spirit of April Fools Day. Here are some of the pranks pulled yesterday by those jesters of the economy, corporate America:
– Dunkin’, the chain formerly known as Dunkin’ Donuts, announced on social media that it will now be known as just “Donuts.”
– One-upping Dunkin’, Krispy Kreme invited customers to come in and glaze anything they like – a pizza, a cheeseburger, a bowl of oatmeal.
– Green Giant vegetables announced cauliflower-flavored marshmallow Peeps. (* “HO-HO-HURK!”)
– 7-Eleven and Miracle Seltzer actually created a limited number of soda cans filled with 7-Eleven Big Bite Carbonated Hot Dog Water.
– Oreo tweeted that, from now on, the cookie and creme will be sold separately.
– Lego announced “SmartBricks” that, when left on the floor, will scatter away from the bare feet of a person walking through the room.
– Omaha Steaks fake-announced Meaty Spritz, a spray-on meat flavor meant to make fast food taste like better-tasting steaks, chicken, and pork.
– Chosen Foods came up with “GuacPaste” — guacamole-flavored toothpaste.
– Ikea Singapore introduced the INVSBÅL collection of “invisible” items including invisible shoe racks, laundry baskets, toy boxes and picture frames. They’re invisible – get it?
– Aldi supermarkets in Scotland came up with Haggis-Daaz, a line of haggis-flavored ice cream.
– Post cereal and Kraft announced multicolored Fruity Pebbles mac & cheese.
– Scotch, makers of Scotch tape, came up with a Scotch-Brand Scotch Whiskey. Because Scotch, you see. (* Hold on, I’m about to pee myself.)
– Velveeta invented a line of “V by Velveeta” skin care products, including cheese-based moisturizer, renewal serum and nourishing night cream.
– Heinz came out with Heinz Ketchup Shampoo.
– Rosetta Stone and medical marijuana company Fluent came up with an app that teaches people how to speak pothead. They called it Rosetta Stoned.
* Are these really any less weird than what they come up with on “Shark Tank”?
* Lay’s announced they would return their Party Size potato chip bag from the shink-flation 15 1/4 oz back to the previous 15 3/4 oz without raising the price. APRIL FOOL!
* Oh, Lego, you lazy-boneses – you did “SmartBricks” back in 2021. (True.)
* You could put any one of these products on the internet, say there’s just “a limited number available,” and a million idiots will buy them out.

COPYCAT NEIGHBORS

Dear Abby had a strange letter in her column, about copycat neighbors: “Dear Abby, My husband and I have been friends with another couple for many years. When the house across the street from ours became available, they bought it. Not long after they moved in, the wife began copying our interior and exterior design elements. One night she stood in our kitchen and said, “Well you know, everything’s a competition.” Six months ago, we installed a unique garage door, unlike anything in the neighborhood. Abby, within three months she installed the exact same one! Are we wrong to find it crass and disrespectful? Signed, Fed up in Ohio.”
* Paint your house with polka dots and see what happens.
* Every time you come home, park in their driveway, walk into their house, and say you got mixed up. And I mean every time.
* There may not be any sure way out besides arson.
* “Dear Fed up: Take this as a sign that you are meant to be an influencer. Put out TikTok videos and make a fortune.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Have you ever had someone copy you? Neighbors, or a co-worker, or a weird friend? Is it an honor, or is it just creepy?

U.S. NEWS

CICADAS ARE THE CHAMPION URINATORS OF THE WORLD

The media hype for the coming cicada invasion in the eastern US is hitting fever level, and it’s still a few weeks away. But here’s something you should know, so you can take precautions:
– When cicadas eat trees they go for tissue called xylem, which carries mostly water. The liquid is hard to extract, but the cicada has an outsized head that is used as a pump. They use their proboscis like a tiny straw with their head acting like a pump sucking out the liquid.
– And where does all that fluid go? They pee it out. Cicadas have a urination rate two to three times stronger and faster than elephants and humans. They have a muscle that pushes the waste through a tiny hole like a jet. When you walk around in a forest full of cicadas and it feels like it’s raining, that’s cicada pee.
* Well, they HAVE been been holding it in for 17 years.
* You can only hope they didn’t just eat asparagus.
* You go to college for years to become a scientist. You can study the universe, the oceans, the atom… and you decide to specialize in measuring cicada pee.
* It must be an attractive field because you only have to work for, like, four weeks every 17 years.
* How are they going to keep milking this story for weeks? Have they gotten to the topic of Cicada Recipes yet?

ROBBERY SUSPECT HELD WITH WEEDWHACKER

A landscaper in Houston, Texas, used his weed whacker to stop a suspected robber from taking his lawn equipment by hitting him with it. The lawn crew noticed two vehicles pull up to their truck and trailer. The suspect got out of one of the cars and grabbed two backpack blowers out of the landscaper’s trailer, and tossed them into the backseat. As the suspect was getting into the getaway car, the landscaper whacked him in the head with the weedwhacker, causing him to fall out the vehicle. The suspect kept trying to get up and run to the waiting getaway car down the street, but the landscaper kept poking him with the weedwhacker. Four other suspects in the two cars came back, displayed a weapon, and demanded their friend be freed. The group of thieves got away, but police later tracked them down at a nearby hospital where the weed whackee went for treatment of a facial cut from the weedwhacker.
* The lesson here is: always wear safety goggles when you’re around lawn machinery, right?
* Ouch! Right in the ol’ rootball.
* Stealing landscaping equipment? That’s whack!
* This is clearly a case of justifiable herbicide.
* Coulda been worse. Coulda been a chainsaw.

EVERYBODY WHO MOVED TO FLORIDA IS LEAVING

Thousands of people who moved to Florida in the past few years, during the pandemic and afterwards, are leaving after finding the state to be not what they expected. According to census data, more than 700,000 people moved to Florida in 2022, drawn by the promise of sunny weather, no income tax and lower costs. But nearly 500,000 also gave up on Florida and left in 2022, complaining of relentless heat, damaging hurricanes and dangerous wildlife. Some examples:
– New Yorker Louis Rotkowitz lasted two years in the state. He and his wife bought a home in the West Palm Beach area (* only one of the most expensive places in the state) to pursue a more relaxing, affordable life. He landed a job as an emergency care doctor and his wife became a teacher. They couldn’t make enough money. The commute was a nightmare, their homeowners association fees doubled and he felt unsafe after the state passed a law allowing anybody to carry a gun without a license. They’re now moving to Charlotte, North Carolina.
– Jodi Cummins moved to the Palm Beach area from Connecticut in 2021. “I didn’t expect it to be literally 100 degrees at night. It was incredibly difficult to make friends, and it was very expensive.” She thought she’d make more money as a private chef due to the lack of income tax. After six months, Cummins decided, “this is not anything like I thought it would be.” She had enough with the high costs of car insurance, rent and food, as well as the traffic and hellish temperatures. She’s going back to Connecticut.
– Barb Carter moved back to Kansas after just a year of living in Florida, selling her home in the Orlando area at a $40,000 loss. Among the reasons she cited were an armadillo infestation that caused $9,000 in damages. And Hurricane Ian destroyed the roof on her 62nd birthday. Plus, she could not find a surgeon to remove a tumor from her liver.
* Did she check the golf courses?
* Reporter: Yeah, three people are enough to represent the 500,000 who are moving.
* There’s a little thing called “the internet,” folks. It tells you all about Florida, every day, usually five or six times.
* Whoever would have thought a place in a tropical zone would be hot and rainy?
* Florida is not for wussies. Where do you think the U.S. Army got their slogan “Warriors Wanted”? They took it from Florida.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

SUDAN PLANE CRASHES ON LANDING, CRASHES INTO PREVIOUSLY CRASHED PLANE

A Safe Air jet plane carrying freight had a little crash landing in Malakal, Sudan, on Sunday. The plane – which you’ll be happy to know was a Boeing 727-200 – had experienced problems and was performing an emergency landing. They touched down short of the runway causing both main gear struts to collapse. The plane skidded and collided with ANOTHER plane which had crashed back on February 9th but was still sitting by the side of the runway. The seven crewmembers were able to evacuate the aircraft safely.
* Said Boeing, “Sure, just add it to the list.”
* Maybe it’s time to just move the runway over.
* Suddenly, helium dirigibles don’t seem like such a bad idea.
* The airline’s called Safe Air. Sure, the air is safe – the planes, not so much.

TRENDING

ACTOR MICHAEL STUHLBARG HIT BY ROCK THROWN BY HOMELESS MAN

Actor Michael Stuhlbarg, whose name you might not know but you’ve certainly seen his face in movies like “The Shape of Water” and “Call Me by Your Name,” and “Dr. Strange” and streaming TV shows like “Dopesick” and “Boardwalk Empire,” was hit by a rock thrown by a homeless man on Sunday evening in New York City. A witness reported seeing a homeless man pick up a rock and launch it into a crowd, and it just happened to hit Stuhlbarg in the back of the head. Stuhlbarg chased after his suspected attacker for about a block until police took him into custody. The actor suffered a small bruise and declined medical attention.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 8, Monday – Total Solar Eclipse
April 15, Monday – U.S. Tax Day
May 12, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

Jesse Plemons (actor, “Civil War”) … 36
Michael Fassbender (actor, “Alien: Covenant” … 47
Adam Rodriguez (actor, “Criminal Minds”) … 49
Roselyn Sanchez (actress, “Grand Hotel”, “Devious Maids”) … 51
Clark Gregg (actor, “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”) … 62
Christopher Meloni (actor, “Law & Order: Organized Crime”) … 63
Emmylou Harris (country singer) … 77
Linda Hunt (actress, “NCIS: Los Angeles”) … 79

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I rarely see one of the ‘summer blockbuster’ movies. I’d like to see a stronger focus on smaller, smarter movies.”

(A) Dwayne Johnson
(B) Vin Diesel
(C) Christopher Meloni

ANSWER: (C) Christopher Meloni

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – Highly radioactive water leaked into the sea from a crack at Japan’s stricken Fukushima nuclear power plant.
* Isn’t this how “Godzilla” began?

2007 – In its first case on climate change, the Supreme Court declared in a 5-4 ruling that carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases are air pollutants under the Clean Air Act.
* Okay, everybody – stop exhaling!

1995 – Baseball owners accepted the players’ union offer to play without a contract, ending the longest and costliest strike in professional sports history.
* The players had to hold out for more money, to pay for the new generation of steroids coming on the market.

1978 – Velcro went on the market.
* And stuck there.

1966 – The Soviet Union’s “Luna 10” became the first spacecraft to orbit The Moon.
* It took pictures of a cold, desolate place with no life or resources … kinda like Russia.

1954 – Plans were announced for the building of Disneyland.
* Of course, back then it was just called the Magic Blueprint.

1877 – The first Easter season Egg Roll was held on the grounds of the White House in Washington, DC.
* And an hour later everybody was hungry again.

1845 – H. L. Fizeau and J. Leon Foucault took the first photograph of the Sun.
* What – it took TWO guys to point a camera at the Sun and click the shutter?

1827 – Joseph Dixon began manufacturing lead pencils.
* And the next day, several hundred were hanging from the ceiling of the factory.

1792 – Congress established the Philadelphia mint.
* It was delicious, AND freshened your breath!

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2006 – A John Lennon schoolbook containing the 12-year-old’s drawing of Lewis Carroll’s poem The Walrus and the Carpenter was sold at auction for $239,733. The poem inspired Lennon to write The Beatles’ 1967 song “I Am the Walrus.”

2001 – Mariah Carey signed the richest recording deal in history to date. The 31-year old singer signed a deal with Virgin for three albums worth over 90 million dollars. The singer had sold over 120 million records worldwide, scoring 14 US No.1 singles.

1999 – The Black Crowes played a concert in Knoxville, Tennessee. Joshua Harmon, a teenager sitting in the second row, sued the band a year later for $385,000, claiming significant hearing loss.

1998 – Rob Pilatus, one half of disgraced pop duo Milli Vanilli, was found dead in a Frankfurt Hotel room after taking a lethal combination of drugs and alcohol.

1990 – In England, Eric Clapton was fined over $500 for speeding at 105 mph. Clapton was also banned from driving for three months.

1967 – 154 Austrian Rolling Stones fans were arrested when a riot broke out at a 14,000 seated Town Hall gig. A smoke bomb was thrown on the stage.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Five percent of Americans will never do THIS. What is it?
Get married

2. A survey of couples who have been married for more than 10 years found THIS was the #1 thing they fight about. What is it?
What to watch on TV

3. About 10% of married people would like to do THIS, but have never told their spouse. What is it?
Get a dog

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