TODAY IN TOILET SEAT NEWS

While you weren’t looking, there have been advances in toilet seats.
Number 1: Scientists at the Rochester Institute of Technology in New York have invented a toilet seat which could detect signs of heart failure before symptoms appear. The gadget fits over the top of a normal seat and contains sensors which can measure the sitter’s – that’s “SITTER’S” – heart rate, blood pressure and oxygen levels. Its inventors claim the product could save millions of lives and make it easier to monitor at-risk patients with accurate, real-time information. Currently costing $1500 each, the toilet seats aren’t cheap but they could save hospitals money and improve people’s health, the researchers said.
* $1500 each? Just charge the patients. That’s, what, the cost of two aspirin?
* I predict this toilet invention tanks.
* I’ve had some heart-stopping moments on a toilet seat. That’s “MOMENTS”, not “movements”.
And Number 2, as it were: Chinese consumers are being warned of toilet seats that will give the user an electric shock. A recent inspection by Shanghai authorities found that nearly 40% of the so-called smart toilet seats sold on China’s shopping sites were faulty. Smart toilet seats, which come with functions including heated surfaces, warm water rinsing and air drying, are popular among China’s middle class. The Shanghai Market Supervision Administration checked the quality of the toilet seats sold online and found many did not have proper grounding for the electric units used to power the automatic functions.
* Nice job – sitting on toilet seats all day to count how many electrocute you.
* That’ll certainly keep dad from spending all morning in the john.
* They’ll shock the crap out of you.