THURSDAY, May 23 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, May 23, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: TESLA: WE STOP AT NOTHING; PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL TAFFY DAY

WORLD TURTLE DAY
Wikipedia says this:
“The purpose of World Turtle Day, May 23, sponsored yearly since 2000 by American Tortoise Rescue, is to bring attention to, and increase knowledge of and respect for, turtles and tortoises, and encourage human action to help them survive and thrive. Turtle Day is celebrated worldwide in a variety of ways, from dressing up as turtles or wearing green summer dresses, to saving turtles caught on highways, to research activities. Turtle Day lesson plans and craft projects encourage teaching about turtles in classrooms.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

THURSDAY, May 23

“The 1% Club”
Prime Video – New Game Show
Synopsis: Based on a British game show, contestants try to figure out common logic questions to win a big cash prize.

“The Blue Angels”
Prime Video – New Documentary
Synopsis: Follows the newest class of the storied Navy and Marine Corps flight squadron through intense training and into a season of heart-stopping aerial artistry, and the veterans on the team who, this year, will take their final flights.

“Thirst With Shay Mitchell”
Max – New Food, I mean Drink, Show
Synopsis: Actress Shay Mitchell explores booze of the world drinking alcohol in exotic locations.

Season Premieres:
Hulu – “The Kardashians”
Paramount+ – “Evil”

FRIDAY, May 24

“Atlas”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Jennifer Lopez plays an AI-hating data analyst who discovers that the hyper-intelligent software might be her greatest ally while trying to capture a rogue robot.

“Jurassic World: Chaos Theory”
Netflix – New Animated Series
Synopsis: Set after the events at Camp Cretaceous, members of The Nublar Six struggle to find their footing off the islands, navigating a world filled with dinosaurs and people who want to hurt them.

“The Beach Boys”
Disney+ – New Documentary
Synopsis: Traces the band from humble family beginnings with never-before-seen footage and all-new interviews with band members and music business insiders.

GRACELAND SAVED FROM EVIL LENDER

The mystery lender who tried to wrest Graceland from Elvis Presley’s granddaughter says he is giving up his fight after a court blocked his bid Wednesday. Gregory Nassauny, of Naussany Investments and Private Lending, says the case to gain control of the Memphis mansion is too complicated as it involves three different states. Nassauny claimed they were the rightful owners of Graceland after Elvis’ daughter, Lisa Marie, who died in 2023, had borrowed millions of dollars against it in 2015 and then died without paying the loan back. But Lisa Marie’s daughter, Riley Keough, claimed those documents were forged. A Memphis court on Wednesday agreed to postpost the auction until things could be sorted out, but then Naussany said he was “withdrawing all claims with prejudice.” Riley Keough’s law firm says they will ask the Tennessee Attorney General to investigate the allegations regarding the authenticity of the loan documents.
* Thank god the tackiest mansion in America has been saved, possibly for an episode of “Ugliest Homes” on HGTV.
* Imagine how this fiasco would have played out if Michael Jackson were still alive and married to Lisa Marie when she died. Actually, it probably would have been very much like this fiasco, only with a lot more lawyers.
* Elvis Presley is constantly in the Top 5 of Highest Earning Dead Celebrities – $100 million in 2023. What was Lisa Marie doing with the money? Making bonfires?
* It’s almost like the music business is corrupt or something.

NEW DATING SHOW: VIRGIN ISLAND

Hulu streaming has ordered up a new reality dating show titled “Virgin Island.” Yes, “Virgin Island” will center on the dating journeys of a group of “hot virgins” mixing and mingling at an island resort. The 10-episode series will see the celebates participate in romantic activities together as they search to find “the one” and commit to them, all culminating in a dramatic finale where burgeoning relationships are put to the test (* Is “the test” what I think it is?). Applications for “Virgin Island” are open now for U.S. residents aged 21 and over.
* Producers are scouting every on-line gaming group in the country to find contestants.
* How will they know who’s really a virgin? Is the host of the show a gynecologist?
* They search to find “the one” and commit to them. For 3 to 12 minutes.
* “Before we ask all of you how it went last night, does anybody want a Do-Over?”
* Like the Rose Ceremony on The Bachelor, the tackiest thing about the show will be the weekly Cherry Ceremony.
* The show will be sponsored by In-N-Out Burger.

THE BUZZ

DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “I Married A Ghost Named Edwardo Who Cheated On Me”
2. “World Record For Largest Gathering Of People With Underwear On Their Heads”
3. “There’s Got To Be a Better Potato Roll Than Martin’s”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “The Best Mayonnaise You Don’t Know About”

MEN: “I NEED THIS”

Reddit asked, “Men, what did you see that made you think, ‘I need to get one of those.'” Some of the responses:
– “Never had dogs growing up, parents are very against them. First girlfriend had a dog. Now i have two.”
– “Drone footage of a friend’s kayak trip where the drone followed him from above. Had to get me a drone.
– “A set of shot glasses shaped like little cowboy boots.”
– “I asked a neighbor to help me jump my car, and he just pulled out his self jump kit. Car fired right up. I went inside and ordered 2 from Amazon.”
– “12 years old, first ride in a Corvette. I was like oh wow this thing is fast. I have to get one of these when I’m older, now going on my fourth one.”
– “A buddy invited me over to play Halo on his 60 inch Panasonic (with surround sound) and that was it. It took years to afford one but when I finally could I fired up the latest GTA and swore I could hear my pupils dilate. And now I’m constantly saving money in a jar to afford a bigger better model.”
– “Took my kid shopping for a Halloween costume last year. He wanted a baby shark costume, and next to it was adult size daddy shark. I said we are absolutely doing this. Bought both and we wore them to the zoo. ”
* PHONE TOPIC: Guys, what did you see that you absolutely have to have?

U.S. NEWS

POSTAL WORKER CAUGHT STREET RACING

In Fremont, Ohio, deputies pulled over a US Postal Service mail van for speeding at over 100 mph in a 60 mph zone. The female driver appeared to be racing a Ford Mustang. The deputy claimed the postal van blew by the Mustang doing 105 miles an hour. She was given a $240 fine for racing. The Postal Service says the incident is under investigation.
* Come on, isn’t this the EXACT kind of person we want delivering the mail in a timely manor?
* So the postal vehicles CAN move fast, they just aren’t allowed to, is that correct?
* What’s her side gig? Pizza delivery?
* Snail mail, my eye.

FLORIDA MAN TAKES SCHOOL BUS ON A JOYRIDE

A Florida man allegedly stole a school bus and took it on a joyride from Tampa to Miami lat Saturday night. Daniel Saez, 32, stole the bus, which belonged to Hillsborough County Public Schools, and drove the vehicle to Miami, which is roughly 280 miles from Tampa – a four-hour drive. He eventually was stopped in Sarasota, 60 miles south of Tampa, telling police that he was on his way back to return the stolen bus. Mr. Saez allegedly admitted to stealing the bus and was reportedly both drunk and high when the crime took place.
* He was BUS-ted.
* ♬ “The car thief on the bus goes to jail, jail, jail … Jail, jail, jail … Jail, jail, jail …” ♫
* He’s gonna get detention for at least a week.
* The judge will sentence him to writing 100 times on a blackboard, “I will not steal school buses.”
* Joyride is the last word I’d use to describe a school bus.

CLOWN CHARGED WITH PROSTITUTION

In Carbondale, Pennsylvania, police arrested a man in an undercover investigation of prostitution. The man was advertising his services on an escort website, and had agreed to perform services. Arrested at the agreed-upon location for the services was Francis Bui, 28. Mr. Bui also told officers he is a professional clown, performing as The Amazing Franko (* as in “Boy, that was amazing, Franko!”?), and just got back from traveling with the circus. He was charged with promoting prostitution.
* Boy, was his face red. Under the white makeup, of course.
* Police loaded him into a cruiser with 20 other guys.
* So, no more clownin’ around.
* He must get a lot of interest, with those big shoes and all.
* He only makes one “balloon animal.” Guess what it is.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

FRANCE INTRODUCES THE SCRATCH-AND-SNIFF POSTAGE STAMP

The French Post Office last Friday rolled out a scratch-and-sniff postage stamp to celebrate the world-famous baguette. The stamp, which costs 1.96 euro, depicts a baguette decorated with a blue-white-and-red ribbon. The stamp has a “bakery scent.” The smell can be released by the customer rubbing on the stamp.
* That’s great and all, but if you leave it in your mailbox too long it starts smelling like a yeast infection.
* Now their mailboxes are being surrounded by pigeons.
* America is really missing an opportunity by not issuing a Nirvana commemorative stamp that smells like Teen Spirit.
* They’ve got a scratch-and-sniff Snoopy stamp, but once you lick it, it smells like a wet dog.
* I guess it’s nice to celebrate baked goods. Y’know, if your country doesn’t have spaceships.

AUDIO: THE WORM CHARMING CHAMPIONSHIPS

The 2024 Falmouth, England, Worm Charming Championships were held last Sunday, May 19 (* WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME!). This was the fourth annual worm charming championships. Teams are given a two-meter square plot of grass to charm worms out of within half an hour, without digging or using any mechanical tools. This year, there were over 200 teams competing to entice earthworms to the surface of the soil. Worms come to the surface, in nature, in response to rain tapping on the ground, feeling the vibrations. Birds imitate this by pecking on the ground, or quickly stamping their feet. At this year’s competition, teams tried playing various instruments, banging garden pitchforks, dancing vigorously and using a Oujia board. The winning team, calling themselves the Tennessee Worm Tuggers, managed to charm a total of 32 worms out of their little plot within the 30 minutes using country western music.
* That’s why they say country is real down-to-earth music.
* The artists they were playing for the worms: Faith DirtHill, Bait Shelton, Florida Georgia Fishin’ Line, and Carrie Underrocks.
* It was pretty cruel. You should have seen the worms’ sad faces when they came up for the country western music then realized they couldn’t boot scoot.
* Imagine the sandworm scene in “Dune,” without a special effects budget.
* Then the robins attacked.
CLIP: Here’s our little “Let’s Check In With The Animals” intro, if you want it. It also resides in the Potpourri section of our Work Parts. Link is at the top of the Daily Prep page.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/LetsCheckInWithTheAnimals(dot)mp3

TRENDING

MORGAN WALLEN: NO NEON SIGN FOR HIS BAR

Morgan Wallen’s recent arrest for throwing a chair off a Nashville bar rooftop is causing problems for his new Nashville bar. Nashville’s Metro Council has refused his request to put a neon sign with Wallen’s name on it outside the bar. The Council voted overwhelmingly against letting Morgan’s name join the neon club — only 3 members voted for it, while 30 said no.

BASSIST FOR TRAIN DIES, WEIRDLY

Charlie Colin, a founding member of the group Train, has died at the age of 58 after he slipped and fell in the shower while house-sitting for a friend in Brussels, Belgium. Details are sketchy, but reports say no one found Colin until his friends returned home from their trip five days ago. Colin was one of the original members of Train, which initially consisted of Pat Monahan, Rob Hotchkiss, Scott Underwood and Jimmy Stafford. Train formed around 1996. Alongside Train, Colin toured the world and had mainstream success before leaving the band in 2003 due to substance abuse.

APPLE’S TOP 10 ALBUMS

Apple Music has been rolling out is top 100 albums over the last several days. Not sure what they’re using for criteria – sales? Good songs? Great album cover? But here are Apple Music’s top 10 albums of, um, several genres not including country or folk or progressive or indie rock or new age or classical:
1. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (1998) Lauryn Hill
2. Thriller (1982) Michael Jackson
3. Abbey Road (1969) The Beatles
4. Purple Rain (1984) Prince & The Revolution
5. Blonde (2016) Frank Ocean
6. Songs in the Key of Life (1976) Stevie Wonder
7. good kid, m.A.A.d city (2012) Kendrick Lamar
8. Back to Black (2006) Amy Winehouse
9. Nevermind (1991) Nirvana
10. Lemonade (2016) Beyonce

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 27, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)

BIRTHDAYS

LaMonica Garrett (actor, “1883”) … 49
Jewel (singer/songwriter, born Juel Kilcher) … 50
Matt Flynn (drummer with Maroon 5) … 54
Phil Selway (drummer with Radiohead) … 57
Melissa McBride (actress, “The Walking Dead”) … 59
Drew Carey (comedian, sitcom actor, “The Price Is Right” host) … 66
Joan Collins (actress) … 91

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m always looking for things that are different, unexpected. I don’t like doing the normal, usual things. I get bored easily.”

(A) Pope Francis
(B) Ozzy Osbourne
(C) Drew Carey

ANSWER: (C) Drew Carey

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2003 – Congress sent President George W. Bush a $330 billion package of tax cuts – the third of his presidency.
* We got a lot more money back from our taxes, and then gas prices immediately started rising.

1988 – The first couple to be married underwater got hitched using diver’s hand signals.
* Now that they’ve been married awhile, you should see the hand signals they give each other.

1955 – The Presbyterian Church began allowing female ministers.
* Why not? Women are so much better at making you feel guilty.

1934 – In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were killed by Texas Rangers. The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe.
* The Rangers added air conditioning.

1903 – The first automobile trip across the United States, began, from San Francisco to New York (the trip was completed on July 26).
* The hard part was that jump across the Grand Canyon.

1785 – Benjamin Franklin announced his invention of bifocals.
* Locals thought he was squirrelly as they heard him asking himself “Is it better now … or now? Now … or NOW? Is that better? Or is THAT better?”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2006 – The King of Sweden presented the surviving members of Led Zeppelin with the Polar Music Prize in Stockholm recognizing them as “great pioneers” of rock music. Robert Plant, Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones were joined by the daughter of drummer John Bonham, who died in 1980. The Polar Music Prize was founded in 1989 by Stig Anderson, manager of Swedish pop group ABBA who named it after his record label, Polar Records.

2000 – Billy Corgin of Smashing Pumpkins announced that the Seattle-based rock group would officially break up at year’s end. Corgan claimed that he and his bandmates were tired of “fighting the good fight against the Britneys of the world.”

1991 – Photographer Michael Lavine took what would be the publicity shots for Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album at Jay Aaron Studios in Los Angeles. The idea for the front cover shot of the baby swimming was taken after Kurt Cobain and Dave Grohl saw a TV documentary on water babies and was taken by Kirk Weddle. Several babies were used; five-month old Spencer Elden’s photo came out best. In 2021, the adult Elden sued the band claiming they violated federal child pornography statutes and argued child sexual exploitation. A federal court in California dismissed a lawsuit with a judge ruling Elden had filed his complaint after the 10-year statute of limitations had expired.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Almost 1/4 of us will eat THIS on Sunday. What is it?
Cereal

2. According to a recent survey, pepperoni is the favorite pizza topping. THIS is the least favorite. What is it?
Anchovies

3. The average person will eat 11,000 of THESE in a lifetime. What are they?
M & M’s

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