THURSDAY, Mar 13 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, March 13, 2025
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: IRISH SPRING BREAK SOAP; PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing – including “holidays” created by the National Day Calendar and Wellcat websites to drive traffic to their websites – or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

COCONUT TORTE DAY

INTERNATIONAL EVERY GIRL WINS DAY
The National Today website says this:
“Every Girls Wins Institute founder and C.E.O., Dr. Christine Kozachuk, established March 13 as International Every Girl Wins Day. Dr. Kozachuk started the initiative to help young girls turn their lives around and become successful members of society. The institute shows young women that they can overcome challenges holding them back from leading fulfilling personal and professional lives. The organization provides written lessons, visual interactions, and group sessions — teaching students how to turn their ambitions into achievements and create action plans for their goals in life.”

JEWEL DAY

K-9 VETERANS DAY
The National Today website says this:
“Joe White, a Vietnam War veteran from Jacksonville, Florida, started K-9 Veterans Day. White was a dog handler who saw firsthand how valiantly K-9s served in the conflict and was disturbed by the (now abolished) euthanasia of working dogs at the end of their military service. To help raise awareness and honor the sacrifices of military working dogs, he came up with the idea of a holiday commemorating them.”

NATIONAL GOOD SAMARITAN DAY
The Days of the Year website says this:
“National Good Samaritan Day is observed on this day in honor of a woman named Catherine “Kitty” Genovese. On March 13, 1964, Genovese was murdered near her New York City home and, although more than 30 people saw something or heard her screams, no one stepped forward to help or call the police. (It is believed that Kitty would have lived if others had intervened during the attack.} The purpose behind National Good Samaritan Day is to encourage community and mutual support. The hope is that more people will pay attention and intervene when someone is in need, not only on this day but all throughout the year.”

NATIONAL EARMUFF DAY
The National Today website says this:
“The creation of earmuffs is all thanks to a 15-year-old boy named Chester Greenwood. Faced with the problem of keeping his large ears warm during the winter season, he sought the help of his grandmother. After a day of ice-skating, he designed two ear-shaped loops of wire and enlisted his grandmother in sewing tufts of wool over the loops. They created a working model. This is how the first ever earmuff was made. On March 13, 1877, he was awarded a patent for these ear protectors, writing his name in the history books. For almost 60 years, Greenwood continued manufacturing ear protectors, providing more jobs to the community of Farmington, Maine, which is now the ‘Earmuff Capital of the World.’ The earmuff became more than just an accessory to block out the cold and evolved into ear protectors, mostly used by construction workers who have to work in extremely noisy environments.”

POPCORN LOVER’S DAY

March is:

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
National Craft Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide, EW and other websites

THURSDAY, Mar 13

“Adolescence”
Netflix – New Limited Series from England
Synopsis: A 13-year-old boy is accused of the murder of a classmate. The gimmick: it was filmed in four hour-long, single-take shots — no cutaways, no camera tricks — adding tension and deeply exploring the process of the justice system.

“Control Freak”
Hulu – New Movie
Synopsis: Valerie is an extremely successful motivational speaker with a secret. She has a very aggressive and relentless itch on the back of her head. The kind that she cannot stop herself from scratching until it bleeds. Nothing seems to help, so instead, she wants to figure out the source of it. Then things get weird.

“Long Bright River”
Peacock – New Limited Series
Synopsis: Amanda Seyfried stars as Mickey, a police officer who patrols a Philadelphia neighborhood hard-hit by the opioid crisis. When a series of murders begins in the neighborhood, Mickey realizes that her personal history might be related to the case.

“The Parenting”
Max – New Comedy/Horror Movie
Synopsis: Boyfriends Josh and Rohan plan a weekend getaway to meet each other’s parents, only to discover that their rental is home to a 400-year-old poltergeist.

Season Premieres:
Bravo – “Top Chef”
Prime Video – “The Wheel of Time”

FRIDAY, Mar 14

“Bill Burr: Drop Dead Years”
Hulu – Comedy Special
Synopsis: The comedian covers topics from male sadness to dating advice.

“Dope Thief”
Apple TV+ – New Series
Synopsis: Old buddies from Philadelphia pose as DEA agents and stick up small-time drug dealers. All is going well until one mark turns out to be part of one of the largest drug operations on the Eastern Seaboard, and the victims are nasty, nasty people who want revenge.

“The Electric State”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Follows a young woman – in an alternative timeline after a destructive robot rebellion – as she searches for her brother with her robot companion and a smuggler, in a wasteland where robots were exiled. Starring Millie Bobby Brown and Chris Pratt.

THE BUZZ

DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Does Jam Really Belong In Your Coffee?”
2. “Here’s Why New Tires Have All Those Little Tiny Hairs”
3. “We Tested Bidets For 3 Months”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “When My Girlfriend Did This Totally Gross Thing, I Knew She Was The One”

STRANGE HAPPENINGS AT THE GYM

Reddit asked, “What’s the strangest thing you have seen someone do at the gym?” Some of the responses:
– “I once watched a woman use the elevator to avoid the one flight of stairs, then proceed to hop onto the Stair Master.”
– “Some guy came in dressed in his gym clothes, walked around with a steel bowl full of chicken and mayo. Ate it and then left.”
– “Ate while walking on the treadmill.”
– “Guy with towel draped over his head neighing like a horse during spin class.”
– “A man brought a parrot in and had it on the handles of the treadmill as he ran.”
– “There was a guy who would blindfold himself with his beanie. He pulled it down over his eyes to concentrate. Good coordination but so funny to watch.”
– “Guy returned 4 trash bags full of dirty men’s t-shirts and underwear he had stolen from the changing rooms.”
– “I once was next to a guy who started his set talking to himself with, “Who you calling snot nose?””
– “Older man in his 70’s, doing squats in slacks, long sleeve button-up, dress shoes and gardening gloves.”
– “I never understood why the old men put their shirts on before their underwear.”
– “Wrapped his torso in Saran Wrap before working out.”
– “There was a guy who would throw weights in the garbage after using them. We called him Trashcan Eddie.”
– “I watched a guy running hard on the treadmill stop after about 5-10 minutes and then immediately go outside and smoke a cigarette. Then he came back in and hopped back on the treadmill and repeated this for 2 more sets and left.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Something strange i saw at the gym. (warning: be ready for things you don’t want to put on the air.)

U.S. NEWS

FIVE ARRESTED FOR STREET TWERKING

Five men were arrested Monday night in Memphis, Tennessee, after police say they blocked a downtown intersection with their dancing. Police observed a Chevy Malibu stopped at a green light and spotted four men twerking around the car and a one man twerking on the hood. The five men, all between the ages of 18 and 22, were charged with obstructing a highway or passageway. Police said the suspects were transported to jail so that the offense would not happen again.
* Yeah, jail is probably the last place you want to be twerking.
* Where normally I would say, if they were twerking, throw away the key, in this case it sounds pretty funny.
* “Twerking,” because “dry-humping air” sounds rude.
* Yet Miley Cyrus walks around a free woman.
* Still, five guys twerking is better than five street mimes.

AIRPORT SECURITY CATCHES TURTLE IN MAN’S PANTS

A Pennsylvania man was stopped at airport security and discovered to have a live turtle in his pants. The incident took place last Friday at Newark Airport in New Jersey. The body scan in the security area set off an alarm when it saw something “in the area of the man’s groin.” A pat-down determined that there was something concealed there. The man reached down the front of his pants and pulled out a live turtle that was wrapped in a small blue towel. The turtle was estimated to be approximately five inches in length and identified to be a red-ear slider turtle.
* How about the guy? Did HIS ears turn red?
* Uhhhh…emotional support animal?
* At least he wasn’t dumb enough to stick a snapping turtle down there.
* TSA asked, “Is that a turtle in your pants or are you happy to see me?” And the turtle said, “Boy, AM I happy to see you!”
* There was a turtle in his groin area. Plus some other junk.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

THE WORLD’S ONLY NUDE GOLF COURSE

There are, by estimates, 40,000 golf courses in the world. But only one is for nudists. La Jenny, located an hour from Bordeaux on France’s west coast, is the only exclusively nudist golf course on Earth. It’s a 6-hole course (* seven if you bend over), and the only drawback is that the course is only open to those staying at the adjoining holiday nudist park. Guests rave about it. One nudist player calls it “a unique and wonderful experience.” And it only costs 3 euros ($3.27) to play.
* That’s because they make their money selling suncreen in the pro shop.
* Sorry, but I can’t bare to watch nude golfers.
* Things you’re likely to hear at a nudist golf course:
– “I’m trying out a new grip.”
– “Wow, look at the swing on that guy.”
– “Is that a dogleg?”
– “I think for this hole, I’m gonna grab my wood.”
– “I believe you’re up.”
– “Oops – a dribbler!”
– “No, I said you have a nice PUTT.”
– “Will you stop mispronouncing Titleist?”
– “I believe that’s my balls.”
– “FORE! … skin!”

PUDDING THAT TASTES LIKE AN OLD BOOK

A pastry chef in Spain is getting accolades for creating pudding that tastes like a musty old book. Acclaimed pastry chef Jordi Roca (* Never heard of ‘im) is the co-owner of Spain’s three Michelin-starred restaurant El Celler de Can Roca. (* translation: “The Basement of My Ass”) He has figured out how to extract the aroma of an old book and transfer it into liquid. How does he do it?
– “Select a book that smells like mature paper. Spread the pages with deodorized butter and let it rest overnight so that the butter absorbs the smell of the book. Remove the butter with a spatula and dissolve it in alcohol. The alcohol will evaporate and you will have the perfume of an old book. Sprinkle it on a bowl of pudding along with pieces of the torn pages of the book to complete the effect.”
The dish costs $362.
* Talk about putting words in your mouth.
* OK, that’s HOW he does it, but why?
* If I want food that tastes like an old book, I’ll go to White Castle, thank you very much.
* I haven’t been this excited since they came out with Jell-o that tastes like socks.
* You come in with Great Expectations but it ends up tasting like Animal Farm, and by the end, your taste buds will be Les Misérables. And your money is Gone With The Wind.

TRENDING

PHILADELPHIA NAMES STREET AFTER WILL SMITH

Will Smith was born and raised in West Philadelphia, and now the city is naming a street in his honor. The 2000 block of North 56th Street in Wynnefield will soon be known as “Will Smith Way.” City leaders said they wanted to recognize Smith’s accomplishments in the entertainment industry along with his charitable contributions and advocacy for social justice and equality. So they’re gonna just slap that sign up right up there.

SPINAL TAP II COMING IN SEPTEMBER

Spinal Tap II, the long-awaited sequel to 1984’s rock mockumentary This is Spinal Tap, is set for release on Sept. 12. David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) are all confirmed to return for the new movie, along with Paul Shaffer and Fran Drescher, who appeared in the first movie. Some special guest stars will also make appearances, including Paul McCartney and Elton John.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

March 17, Monday – St. Patrick’s Day
March 20, Thursday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 5:01 a.m. EDT
April 1, Tuesday – April Fools Day
April 15, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 11, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 26, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Danny Masterson (actor, “The Ranch,” “Men at Work,” “That 70s Show,” convicted rapist imprisoned for 30 years to life) … 49
Annabeth Gish (actress “The Haunting of Hill House”) … 54
Adam Clayton (bass player with U2) … 65
Dana Delaney (actress, “Body Of Proof”) … 69
William H. Macy (actor, “Shameless,” “Fargo”) … 75
Neil Sedaka (singer, songwriter “Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do”) … 86

Today’s Birthdays grade: Sadly, even F-minus isn’t a low enough grade thanks to the presence of Danny Masterson on today’s list. Grade: Zero.

[Want to try something different with the daily birthdays? Try grading them! Some days have “good” celebs, some have “great” celebs, some have “lousy” celebs. For fun, give the group an arbitrary grade: A-plus through F-minus. Sidekick will give you our take on it; you can to take the concept and run with it.]

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I think I’ve been in situations where they looked at me and just see some rich white guy – they don’t see me at all.”

(A) Mark Zuckerberg
(B) Jeff Bezos
(C) William H. Macy

ANSWER: (C) William H. Macy

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2023 – The Recording Industry Association of America reported that vinyl records outsold CDs in the U.S. for the first time since 1987, with just over 41 million vinyl records sold in 2022 totaling $1.2 billion, and only 33 million CDs sold, amounting to $483 million.
* Forward into the past!

2012 – After 244 years of publication, Encyclopedia Britannica announced it would discontinue its print edition.
* You can read more about it at Wikipedia.

1991 – Exxon paid $1 billion in fines and for the clean-up of the Alaskan oil spill caused when the tanker Exxon Valdez struck a reef.
* That really made sure oil companies would be more careful! (cough) BP (cough) Gulf of Mexico.

1930 – Clyde Tombaugh announced the discovery of Pluto at Lowell Observatory.
* Mickey Mouse later drove over and thanked Tombaugh for finding his dog.

1894 – The horse racing starting gate was invented by J.L. Johnstone of England.
* This was a much classier way of starting a race than the old way of having a guy stand behind the horses and yell “BOO!”

1894 – The first professional striptease took place in Paris.
* This sounds sexy until you visualize the hairy armpits.

1887 – Chester Greenwood of Maine patented earmuffs.
* And did most of the up-front work for the guy who invented headphones.

1884 – The U.S. adopts Standard Time.
* Ending the practice of people just making up their own time.

1852 – Cartoonist Frank Bellow introduced “Uncle Sam.”
* You know – striped hat, red, white and blue outfit, hand lifting your wallet out of your pocket …

1781 – Astronomer William Herschel discovered Uranus.
* He turns to his assistant and cries, “I’ve found Uranus!” and the guy looks at him and says, “It wasn’t missing, thanks.”

1639 – Cambridge College was renamed Harvard for clergyman John Harvard.
* Imagine – There once was a time when you could get stuff named after you without donating $1 million.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2022 – Sir Rod Stewart filmed himself fixing potholes on a road near his home in England and complaining about the state of it. Videos on the 77-year-old singer’s Instagram account showed him shoveling gravel in Harlow, Essex, claiming “no-one can be bothered to do it.” In one, he said: “People are bashing their cars up. The other day, there was an ambulance with a burst tyre. My Ferrari can’t go through here at all.”

2013 – Jimi Hendrix scored his highest chart debut since 1969 when his new studio album, “People, Hell & Angels,” consisting of unreleased tracks recorded with a variety of musicians between 1968 and 1970, sold 72,000 copies in the U.S. in the week of release and made its debut at No.2 on the charts.

2008 – Michael Jackson refinanced his Neverland ranch to save it from being auctioned off, after being told that if he failed to pay $25 million he owed on the California property, it would be auctioned off within a week.

2007 – Coffee house Starbucks announced the launch of its own music label, saying it would sign both established and new artists. The chain, which had 13,000 stores worldwide, had already released albums under its Hear Music brand, licensing songs from other companies. Starbucks bosses said the label would now become more independent and that music fitted with the firm’s identity.

2006 – The Sex Pistols refused to attend their own induction into the U.S. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio. Blondie, Herb Alpert and Black Sabbath were all inducted but the Pistols posted a handwritten note on their website, calling the institution “urine in wine,” adding “We’re not your monkeys, we’re not coming. You’re not paying attention.”

2000 – Pop/punksters Blink-182 cut short their European tour of the hit MCA album “Enema Of The State” after singer/guitarist Tom DeLonge and drummer Travis Barker contracted strep throat.

1999 – Cher started a four week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Believe,” making Cher the oldest woman to top the Hot 100 at the age of 53.

1998 – The Smashing Pumpkins filed suit against UK-based Sound And Media Ltd., alleging that the firm released a “book-with-CD” about the band without proper clearances. The suit sought an injunction and damages of at least $1 million.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Half of all American women say they got one of THESE as a little girl & most of them still have it today. What is it?
A nickname

2. 52% of women surveyed said they can’t go a day without doing THIS. What is it?
Sending a risque text

3. A survey of American women found that over 25% have THIS with them at all times … usually in the car or office. What is it?
Their gym bag

(c) 2025
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111