THINGS YOU CAN’T GET AWAY WITH WHEN YOU’RE 40

From MSN.com, here are some things you can’t get away with when you’re 40 years old (and hopefully you stopped doing these when you were 25):
– Trying to be cool
– Getting blackout drunk
– Having a platonic roommate
– Oversharing on social media
– Eating out more than cooking
– Owming just one “nice” suit
– Splitting the bill eight ways
– Selfies
– Forgetting a major anniversary or birthday
– Staying in a toxic relationship
– Ignoring symptoms
– Forgetting to save money
– Experimenting with a new haircut
– Living with your parents
– Keeping a sloppy house
– Fist-bumping
– Skipping work because you’re hungover
– Blowing off plans at the last minute
– Sleeping past noon
– Going to music festivals
– Excessive texting
– Not exercising
– Doing shots
– Borrowing money from family or friends
– Spring break
– Not flossing
* Who’s the jerk who came up with “Life begins at 40”?
* I guess every one of these things comes under the “trying to be cool” heading.
* No more getting blackout drunk? What if you don’t remember doing it?
* They forgot “No more mowing the lawn with your shirt off.” Shirtless old guys! Yuck!
* Usually I experiment not so much with a new haircut as a NON-haircut.