THIEVES STEAL PAINTINGS BY ARTISTS YOU’VE HEARD OF – Mar 31

Paintings worth millions of dollars by Renoir, Cézanne and Matisse were stolen from a museum in a three-minute heist. Four masked thieves broke into the Magnani Rocca museum near Parma in northern Italy and removed the artworks in the middle of the night. They might have taken more, but the alarm scared them off. Taken were:
– Les Poissons (The Fishes) by Pierre-Auguste Renoir, a painting of a couple of dead fish.
– Still Life with Cherries by Paul Cézanne, a painting of a bowl of cherries and a plate of peaches.
– Odalisque on the Terrace by Henri Matisse, a painting of topless chick playing the violin.
The combined value of the paintings are around $10 million. The incident is the latest in a series of art thefts across Europe recently. Last October a gang broke in through a window of the Louvre in Paris and stole $100 million worth of crown jewels.
* That topless woman playing violin – that must be the Impressionism version of OnlyFans.
* I wouldn’t want a painting of dead fish. It would just remind me of every time I tried to set up an aquarium.
* Is there any doubt that all this stuff is sitting in Elon Musk’s house on top of a mountain in Switzerland?
* The paintings are gone for good. Yet for $50, you can put a locator chip in your dog. Who’s running these museums?
* Crap. I might as well cancel my three-week art and food tour of Italy.